Metrosexual or gay???

[jully]

I have a boyfriend (he is 30 and I'm 26) who I started dating few weeks ago. I like him very much. He's smart, has a very good career and he told me he likes me very much too. He talks about the future, about a serious relationsip. And it seems we have lots of common things; I have great time with him. And he seems really interested in me. But here is my problem. He cares so much about his looks, his hair and he has lots of face and body creams. He told me he's a fashion victim. I heard about the metrosexuality trend. But also I noticed he has a kind of feminine walk and a little bit feminine gestures with his hands. Now I'm getting anxious. Could he be gay??? I don't want to wait and get into intimate relationship to realise it. Coz the idea makes me sick! Is there any way I could found out before getting into bed?

One more thing, when i asked him about past relationships, he didn't like to talk about it and just said it was a matter of trust.

[Dako]

Ask him if he's sexually attracted to men.

That's always a way to break the ice.

 

If I were asked that, it wouldn't be a problem.

[Boricua7]

Why don't you start the relationship on a good foot and be honest?

 

It's quite possible that he's metro or even bi but I doubt that he would be with you if he's gay.

 

Be honest and just talk to him. It'll be ok.

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, just ask him straight out. It really could not hurt.

 

I've been in a similiar situation. Me, being quite blatant almost even rude, I asked "You seem like you might be gay. That's fine with me; but then we'll have to be friends". He laughed and said "Are you kidding? Sure, I'm no macho-man, but I find you sexy as he**. Couldn't you tell from..."

 

 

Give it a go. good luck.

[CamGuy]

yea, i'd say it's HIGHLY possible you got a closet homosexual as a boyfriend. Help him out, break him free.

[kadvati79]

I dunno, I would say metrosexual... when in doubt on gay issues... follow Cher's teachings.... "Its in his kiss (thats where it is!)".

 

But ask him

[novaseeker]

Ask and you shall be answered.

 

He sounds metrosexual to me, not necessarily gay.

[Cadence308]

"Its in his kiss (thats where it is!)".

 

LOL I have to agree on that one.

 

Not to sound naive, but what is metrosexual?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

The part about not talking about past relationships could be anything, doesn't have anything to do with his effeminate nature. But the effeminate stuff you described would bother me as i prefer men not too on that side. It really depends what type of guy your into. And yes there is also the possibility that he may be gay.

[novaseeker]

 

Not to sound naive, but what is metrosexual?

It's a (originally) brit term that refers to men who take care of themselves in terms of physique, fashionable clothing, skin and hair care products, etc. The term is intended to be a humorous way of describing what some people would say is a "gay acting straight guy" ... which of course presupposes that there is a "gay" way of acting, which there isn't.

 

link removed

[CarnelianButterfly]

It is very possible he's just an effeminate man. He could be very heterosexual but his mannerism are not that of the stereotypical manly man.

[CamGuy]

It is very possible he's just an effeminate man. He could be very heterosexual but his mannerism are not that of the stereotypical manly man.

 

I had a friend like that once. He dated several girls, but a few years later, finally came out of the closet. If what she describes is for real, I would not be surprised if her BF is indeed, gay.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I had a friend like that once. He dated several girls, but a few years later, finally came out of the closet. If what she describes is for real, I would not be surprised if her BF is indeed, gay.

The whole world isn't filled with copies of your gay friend, he doesn't have to be gay to be effeminate and contrary to popular belief not all gay men are effeminate. So don't just jump on the "GAY" label because he's different.

[novaseeker]

It's just the case that heterosexual males have a very narrow definition of what they consider to be acceptable, normal heterosexual male behavior. The term "masculine" is way too narrow presently, imo.

[Jonboy582]

Well I must say I am slughtly metrosexual aswell. But strait all the same.

 

I have many face products ranging from exfoliants to face masks to moisturisers. Also I file my nails rather than cutting or bitting them, take alot of care over my hair with best shamppos and conditioners, all clothes have to be clean and immaculate, and sometimes act very gay. I mean I have myspace (ashamedly) and my profile is a pink theme with my little pony asthe back ground and sone of my favourite songs are "barbie girl" and "im coming out"

 

But despite that I am strait and dont have a doubt in my mind, looks can be decieving.

 

But from the fact yous aid your going out would imply to me he is just metrosexual/camp and not gay, so I would say you have got nothing to worry about.

 

The whole world isn't filled with copies of your gay friend, he doesn't have to be gay to be effeminate and contrary to popular belief not all gay men are effeminate. So don't just jump on the "GAY" label because he's different.

100% agree, and sorry to bring it up again, but I am a prime example it can happen, get called gay all the time though, but doesnt bother me.

[FoxLocke]

I would be rather cautious around effiminate guys...Sometimes they aren't gay, but 90% of the time they are.

The guy I used to go out with was very effiminate, but is trying desperately to convince himself that he's straight and can be with a woman...

It isn't my place to decide for him...

The moral of my little story is to head this off at the pass. Make sure you know what you're getting before you get it!

[Hangin10]

There could be numerous reasons for that:

1. Could he be insecure about his looks?

2. Was he raised by mostly women? in my family, men have an insane mortality rate .

3. He could be gay/bi/metro (which is different, I don't think it should have a -sexual suffix, you can't have sex with a 'metropolis', well you can, but then you'd be * * * *.)

 

How to fix it:

1. You could just ask him, explaining it makes you uncomfortable.

2. If you're at the stage where you can, you could just come on to him

and take a feel (erection or not).

 

I would use #1 if I were you; I knew a girl (total * * * * *, yes) that continues to randomly grope just about anyone (there's only so many times you can ask someone politely to not grab your penis). But if the girl was my girlfriend, and she acted sexy first, I'd be fine with it.

 

*silences himself before he gets flamed for crappy advice*

[kadvati79]

As a comparison to mr straight here. I am gay, and my daily facial routine consists of the following...

 

Dove soap.

 

Thats right, dove soap. That is the maximum effort I go too. Having said that, I turn 25 soon and I am going to go get some age defiying stuff so I dont start getting crows feat (I get alot of sun climbing). I also race motorbikes, am terribly messy, heavily into computers, talk with a deep south-island new zealand accent, ex-military officer, mountaineer. So yeah, I mean, I don't really have the whole stereotype thing down-pat either. Which is annoying, cause I can't dance AT ALL.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

lol, this post is funny! heehee..."take a feel"...heehee...

[itsallgrand]

Ohh what wonderful varieties men come in! icemoto and I have the same facial routine! and a lot of the same interests....hmm, too bad you're so far away. You sound cool as sh*t to hang out with

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

jully does this guy turn you on? sounds like he doesn't. that kind of thing doesn't improve with time. if you want a manlier man, you just have to find a different one

[ocrob]

I would suggest being very careful about asking him. It is very possible that he is either very insecure or very egotistical and just cares a lot about his looks. Just because a guy is feminine does not mean he is gay. I am guessing that once you have sex, then you will be able to tell. If it concerns you that much, then just ask. Do it in a very complimentary way. I can't exactly know how to say it, but maybe say you love the fact he is so groomed. He is so pretty and you can relate to him like your girlfriend and ask if he has ever been or wanted to be with a guy. I am guessing that even if he is bi or gay, then he will not tell you. I say just have fun. Relationships should be enjoyed in the present and not lived in the future. Enjoy your time together.