I hit my girlfriend

[spambot33]

I have experienced a similar situation. My friend asked me I responded "Im going to google it" he laughed. I found this thread.

 

I just wanted to say thank you for having the courage to post this stuff.

 

End of the day get professional help is the next step. I guess this will start with my first phone call

[yeawutever]

This thread if 5 year-old and the OP hasn't written us back. Hopefully he sought therapy by now. This is indeed a very sensitive topic to me as I've never experienced being hit by a man(well with the exception of being spanked by my father when I was very littlle or threatened verbally, if I were to get out of line).

[replytome]

Sorry, didn't see the post was 5 years old...edited my post away.

[TearsofFate]

Bubbleberry,

 

You need to see things for what they really are. You can't dwell on "what if we had a nice relationship". That is basically falling in love with a false image, a fantasy, something that does not exist no matter how much you wish it did.

 

Look at what is going on right now, all around you, during this very moment. You are being abusive to your girlfriend and she isn't level minded enough to want to fix anything. You are both frustrated, hurting each other, blaming each other, getting into arguments.

 

Although it was wrong of you to raise your hand towards her out of anger....however, I will try and help you, only cause you're on here looking for advice. That at least is a good sign. That you know what you did was wrong. That is the first step to healing. That at least shows you WANT to change, and you WANT to be a better person and not let this abusive happen anymore.

 

The truth is...you guys shouldn't have debates anymore...(I used to have debates with someone before, and it really got my blood boiling, but never enough to hit them. Sometimes certain topics shouldn't be talked about. Is it really that important?...or is loving one another, protecting one another, helping one another, hugging one another, what's important here?)

 

Look, she might be in fire mode right now. She might not want to really agree with you. She is probably so used to the anger that she doesn't know how to see you in a better light at this point. Hitting her is going to make her see you as a monster...and it WILL NOT HELP no matter how much you are angry, no matter how much you want to hit her, IT WILL NOT, bring her leaping into your arms and loving you ....

 

Realize this and please promise yourself to never raise your hand again. If you can promise yourself this one thing, you are well on your way to having a nice relationship. No matter, how angry she is, you can at least be happy that you arn't going to hit her right?

 

That's a very good start.

 

Keep in mind, she might not love you anymore....at this point. That could be why she isn't willing to fix anything. Even if this is the case, there is no reason to physically hit or abuse/yell at each other. You both are human beings, and I'm sure there is a lot of pain for both you and her.

 

You should take a break from seeing her, re evaluate yourself, and please please please, don't let your past family experiences tell you who you are.

 

If your families were abusive and hurtful, shouldn't that be a GREAT reason why not to follow down that path. Don't use your family as an excuse. You are you. You can start as a blank slate anytime you wish.

 

Just take a deep breath, and walk away from whatever your families messed up on. Just be you. And that can be whoever you want yourself to be. Know, that she will most likely still be angry with you..but if you seriously want this relationship to work, you need to accept her anger, and give her time, for it will take time and a whole lot of patience for this relationship to start being a good one.

 

Don't expect things to heal quickly. Take time off, take a break, say your sorry, accept her being angry, and hopefully in time she will be happy again. That is what you want right?

 

If you don't see any change in her...leave her be. Be a man, and leave her, don't hit her. Promise yourself. Violence is not the answer to anything here.

[TearsofFate]

Oh, I just realised how old this post was. I hope they are okay.

[Kishiko]

I think you need counseling and help form your family.

Get someone mature enough to deal with both of you.

I know you love her and want to stay with her then this might sound

crazy, but you should stay with her if you two still love each other.

Just help yourselves okay?

[Stay_home]

Bad tempers get people thrown into jail.

[rolfen]

I am in the same situation. I think it stems from my previous relationship, where I found myself in a huge guilt-trip I literally lost a year of my life torturing myself, trying to understand what I did wrong, when in fact there was nothing! Now I am very defensive when someone tries to make me feel guilty.

I believe my girlfriend had a somewhat similar experience.

[yeawutever]

Very old thread.... he never came back and hopefully he learnt what a real man is. I would be skeptical in trusting a guy like that.

Nevertheless don't see the point in continuing answering if the OP never returned.

[Gracelove]

You should definitely break up. It's not a healthy relationship. If you have the urge to hurt her, whatever the reason, you eventually will. You just don't want to regret it.

Both of you have a lot of pent up angry feelings inside, and you enjoy releasing them on each other.

You guys could really do some damage, it's not worth it. Things can always get worse.