Please read!

[ilovecats]

I really need some advice about this.I've been wanting to do this for a while now.I've mentioned it to my b/f but he's isn't interested at all.Which is very weird for a guy.The thing is,I want to experience being with a woman.I have fantasies about all the time.I find women very sexy and attractive.But my b/f doesn't want to.Have a threesome with another woman that is.Any advice?

[italianstalian]

hmm....maby he thinks it will screw things up with you guys........is he open to just watching???? or is he just completley agianst u with another women??

[ilovecats]

I think he just doesn't want to have a threesome.I really don't even want to have a threesome.I would like it to be just me and another woman.But that would be cheating.I just don't know what to do.This feeling is so strong.I know that this isn't really a big deal or anything.It's just something that I really want to experience.And soon.

[lucia]

Well you can do two things. You either break up with him and find a gf or you just stay with him and won't mention it to him again. I think that if you keep telling him about it he'll just think that you like women so much that you would be able to cheat on him and he'll break up with you. I don't think it's worth it!

 

I also believe that now being bisexual is trendy. And girls hear so much about it that they want to try it even though they're not lesbians or bisexual. How immature is that?

[cal_014]

having a threesome will almost gaurantee something will stuff up in the relationship, the most likely chance whether u think so or not is ull hav the threesome and u get extremely attracted to the girl and break up with ur bf. think about how ur bf would be after that. like seriously if that happened to me my mind would neva be the same again.

[ghozt]

id say just dont think about the whole 3some thing anymore becuse if you fall for women too much he'll get the idea that he drove to being a lesbian and not want to be with anyone else for frear of it but thats just my thearoy

[itsallgrand]

The bf was clear: he doesn't want any part of it.

 

A question: are you questioning your sexuality, or is this a curiosity for you?

 

It can remain fantasy, or you can leave your bf. Which is more important to you right now in your heart. Follow that.

[Heretic]

They only serious relationship I know that lasted through a threesome ended up with the guy having to convince his g/f it never happened. She was the one who wanted it too. There was just something about watching him with another girl that bothered her, I can't imagine what but I'm sure she had her reasons.

 

If you honestly want just you and a girl, you should tell your b/f that. Otherwise instead of a liberating experience, it could turn out to be your worst nightmare.

 

I hope this helps.

[RayKay]

I imagine he is not interested in threatening the relationship with a threesome, which tends to often happen.

 

Sometimes fantasies are better left fantasies

 

I say you have a couple options - accept he is not interested in a threesome, and stay with him faithfully. Or, accept he is not interested, and break it off so you can go pursue your sexual interests.

[southerngirl]

If you really do have fantasies that dont seem to go away you very well could be bi-sexual. If you have it on your mind and it doesnt go away for a long time you should try it out. This way you wont spend a lifetime wondering what if. Alot of people who are gay / bi started out trying to ignore their fantasies.

 

Are you questioning your sexuality? How long has this been on your mind? How long have you been with this boyfriend?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Girlfriends are just trouble. ;-) If you have a good guy, dont blow it by just wanting to try women out.

[Shadows Light]

Its a fantasy.. maybe its best to keep it that way. Sometimes our fantasies are NOT all they are cracked up to be.

 

Remember when you were a kid and saw people drinking champaigne. I don't know why I had this notion that Champaigne was sweet.. like pop. And it wasn't. Or you see people drinking Martini's... and when you first have one.. its NOT what you thought it'd be.

 

Even SEX was that way before you first had it. You read the romance novels, saw romance scenes in the movies, giggled with Girlfriends over it comparing carefully gleaned information. And was it like you fantasized it would be????? Nope.

 

Or lets take it in the other direction. How many times have you been ANGRY at someone.. and made yourself feel better by fantasizing not nice stuff happening to your nemisis. But would you ever really want these things come to pass... or commit the crime yourself. NO. Its just all up in your head and thats where it should stay. Or if your like Steven Spielburg and you can't keep it in your head.. you WRITE about it.

 

I have fantasies that I would never act on. They are fantasies and I keep them as such. I can fantasize about doing it at stonehendge during the Spring Festivals... but would I actually take part in something like that?? Probably not. Or I can fantasize about a PIRATE of the CARIBBEAN taking me hostage and having his way with me. But would I really want something so nasty happen to me. NOPE. Sooo..... Keep it in perspective.

[7inHeaven]

As with other posts, there is a fine line between exploring a fantasy, and making a drastic life change. But if you don't explore this, is it possible that you may later regret it?

 

Story from my partner:

Before she married her ex, her ex gave her no indication that he fantasized all the time about having sex with other men. Then, within a month before her marriage to him, she caught her ex in bed with a guy at their house! He swore up and down that this was a one-time thing and now it was "out of his system".

 

A few months after their marriage, he says he wants to be bisexual and takes her with him to gay bars. Never a 3-some as mentioned in the first post, but this guy was drawn to other men. Within a year, the marriage was over, the guy was living with a gay lover, and partner left to wonder what in the world happened.

 

When we went through a rough time a year ago, my partner thought maybe this was happening all over again (but she feared I was interested in other women, not men). The experience she went through with her ex really messed up her self-esteem and I didn't get the whole story until last year, more than 15years after her breakup with what turned out to be a gay partner.

 

So short of this post is: be clear with your partner now. Better to take some time out of this relationship and find out for sure whether you can be faithful on terms you both agree on, or you need to move on to be true to yourself.

 

Best to you whatever you choose!