an appropriate response would be....?

[minrjohn]

I live with my boyfriend and three other roommates. I recently found out I was pregnant. I decided to have an abortion. My boyfriend is still in school, and I am planning to go back for my second degree in the fall.

 

My boyfriend went out last night. He has been there for me all week. He went to my doctors appointments with me. I am having a medical abortion, so I took one pill at the doctors office, and today around 11am, I will take the other four. That's when the abortion will happen, and it will be very painful.

 

I just went downstairs and found out from my roommates that my boyfriend went home with a drunk girl. I am baffled. How could anyone be that dumb? Why would anyone cheat on his girlfriend the day before she had an abortion? How can he think I am not going to noticed his absense?

 

I am not an aggressive person. I rarely yell, I mostly talk in angry mother tones when I am mad. I am just not sure how to respond to this because it seems almost like a bad Jerry Springer episode, that I would feel ridiculous participating in.

 

How would you deal with this situation?

[Aporia]

Okay your going through a really tough time and I guess that's the last thing you need. But things like this do happen. I've been through an abortion in the past and it's a very emoitional time.

 

I know I'd break up with him. He may have been there for you in the past but the fact is he cheated? at a time you needed him most.

 

Talk to him about it all, listen to him, and then decide what you're going to do.

[RandomAdvisor]

Talk to him about it all, listen to him, and then decide what you're going to do.

 

 

Agreed. Talk to him about this without anger or making any accusations. You don't know all the details so it's possible what you heard isn't true or just a misunderstanding. He said/she said can kill a lot of relationships unnecessarily. Allow him to tell you his side of the story before you jump to any conclusions.

[annie24]

definitely - let's give him the benefit of the doubt for a second. Maybe one of his co-workers was sloppy drunk and could barely walk, and he decided to walk or drive her home and make sure she was ok. Maybe he just crashed on the couch.

 

see what he says about his whereabouts....

 

take care

[yeawutever]

Let him tell his story before you get so jumpy. And if he did slept with her and anything, then I would suggest break up with him as soon as possible.

[minrjohn]

Well, I know I should talk to him, but I think he will try to lie about it. I know he was drunk and left with another drunk girl. If she had needed a ride, one of my friends who was being the sober driver could have taken her home. Also, if he were walking someone home, he could have had our roommate pick him up on the way back to our house.

 

I will probably talk to him eventually, but I don't feel like listening to his stories right now.

 

I feel a little better. I think most of the cramping and bleeding is over now.

 

My boyfriend forgot that his parents were coming to town today. They showed up before he did today, and asked where he was at. I didn't lie for him. I told them he went out last night, went home with a girl, and hadn't come back yet. They are aware of my situation with the abortion, and so I think they are pretty angry with him right now.

 

He came back about twenty minutes after they got here. A girl dropped him off.

 

I have only talked to his parents (small talk) and his little brother. He has not talked to me since he got home. We can't really talk with his parents and bro here.

 

I do find it consoling to know that he will probably have a really hard day with his parents because they know what's going on. I didn't blab to them about it. They asked me if I knew where he was, who he went out with last night, why he didn't come home with the rest of the boys, etc. I wasn't going to lie about it. He lies to them all the time.

 

I am just concerned about living with him until the end of the year. I know everyone thinks I should give him the benefit of the doubt, but I have done that many times before and I just know him. I know that he did this. I think it is going to be difficult to live with him now. I don't know that I even care to be his friend, as I couldn't respect any guy who behaved this way. But, if we don't remain on good terms while we live together, I know he will be really disrespectful to me, i.e. bringing girls back to the house and parading them in front of me.

 

I just picked a not so great guy to be in a relationship with. I guess there's the lesson I'll take away from this.

 

It's funny. His actions are hurtful, but not heart-breaking. Other guys have broken my heart by doing much less.

 

I'm just ranting now. This forum is great for that...

[RandomAdvisor]

Why don't you just dump him?

[annie24]

Ditto - DTMFA!!!! (As my favorite sex columnist, Dan Savage, says...)

 

(Dump the MF already)

[fishrrshortae]

Do anything you can to leave him. This is one of the worst guy-behavior stories I've ever heard, and I've heard some really really REALLY bad ones.