thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Ok so it's been a week since I've talked to him and even though I think that he didn't treat me the greatest why do I still miss him, want him to call me, email, anything! It's kind of sad that I feel like this because I know he is moving on or at least pretending very well. I think of all the things we did together (I am very outdoorsy and so is he) and think about what a hard time he's going to have finding a girl like me and that he'll be sorry (it was a mutual break up of sorts we had been growing apart but now I regret it sort of and all my friends are saying "are you sure your broken up and not getting back together?") I'm sorry to sound full of myself that's not my intention, but why isnt he missing me like I miss him, we were together most of the time and had so many common interests and fun together, what the... Thanks for letting me vent, very confused right now! Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Why did you break up in the first place? I mean, if you two were just growing apart than I'm sure he does miss you. He doesn't need to be calling you nonstop and writing you all of the time to miss you. Do you miss him? Are you doing any of those things? Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 If you regret breaking up and it was a mutual breakup, why dont you try contacting him and seeing if he might want to talk about it and work out the problems. But make sure that you want to get back together for the right reason and not because you are lonely and miss having someone to do stuff with. Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 We broke up for two reasons, my reason is he lied to me about talking to an ex, I don't think anything was going on with them, but it was the fact that he lied. His reason is that he wasn't sure if he wanted to get married or not. I do miss him, very much, I feel like he lied to me because he's afraid of confrontation. I just couldn't get over that fact that someone who supposedly cares about you would lie, made me feel very small and insecure. The last time I saw him, I asked him if he still had feelings for me he said he did, I asked why and he said well things arent black and white are they. He's a very poor communicator and I don't believe he will ever call or wright reguardless of the way he feels, He has also made it a point to say that he has never gotten back with an ex, I feel that hes just trying to protect his feelings, that's what I did. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Never say never. I think you should talk to him. Sit him down and tell him you are going to tell him exactly how you feel and that you expect him to do the same. Be honest and see where things go. Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Thank you guys, you've given me hope, I think I may give it some time to see if he contacts me, I want to give him time. I'm just so confused! Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 It's normal to have some regrets and what-ifs once it hits you. My last break up was very hard on me, he ended it, but I felt much the same as you too. I too am very outdoorsy and athletic and we shared the same passion for a certain sport with each other, and I had the same feelings you do. But you know what....as time went on, I realized more of the negative things, the way he treated me, the way he was not thinking long term with me, how he was not willing to really commit in the long run, and it became more clear it WAS the right thing. And in time, I met my current boyfriend whom is ALSO outdoorsy and athletic, whom shares that sport with me too, and treats me with great respect, and absolute commitment. And I don't regret a thing. I honestly think that if he is still not sure about wanting to take it further after a period of time (depending on your ages), then maybe this was the right thing in the end, even if it hurts. Some people are led on for years by someone whom cannot commit...at least he told you he was not sure. Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Thanks raykay, I totally hear you, it's just so hard to see right now, it's hard getting out there and doing these things that we both enjoyed by myself now. I rode a loop that we both used to ride and I couldnt help looking at the tire tracks wondering if they were his! How pathetic! I'm laughing about it now, but at the time I just wanted to cry, guys can be such jerks sometimes, its just hard to keep hope that there is someone else out there who enjoys everything I do and even treats me with respect and commitment (some sort)! Link to comment
WildChild Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Reading your previous posts, this has been a back and forth relationship. He has lied to you on numerous occasions, and you admit that you were starting to find others attractive. Men operate on different levels. They don't sit around and think about things to the extent that women do. They keep themselves busy so they don't think about it. Right now you are assuming that he is moving on, and in the process making things worse for you because it is all an assumption. Plus, you did tell him you didn't want to see or speak to him again. It is normal to miss someone, however what you are failing to remember is you weren't happy towards the end. Concentrate on healing yourself, and not worry about what he is doing or what he may be thinking. Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Thanks raykay, I totally hear you, it's just so hard to see right now, it's hard getting out there and doing these things that we both enjoyed by myself now. I rode a loop that we both used to ride and I couldnt help looking at the tire tracks wondering if they were his! How pathetic! I'm laughing about it now, but at the time I just wanted to cry, guys can be such jerks sometimes, its just hard to keep hope that there is someone else out there who enjoys everything I do and even treats me with respect and commitment (some sort)! Hye goodgirl, mountain biking or motorcross? I assume the former, but you never know! I mtn bike - including racing among other things like running and yoga and some road cycling.... You know what, if you are not already in one - join some cycling clubs and groups - even try the occasional race if you don't already. The one thing about sports like that is there is ALWAYS a lot more men to women, and you can meet some great people. And even join some women-only ones - it feels awesome to have that girl power. Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 I do mtn biking, it's hard because I don't know any other girls into it, I'm kind of a beginner. I did a race last year (rode 33 miles!) and I finished so I was happy! Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I do mtn biking, it's hard because I don't know any other girls into it, I'm kind of a beginner. I did a race last year (rode 33 miles!) and I finished so I was happy! Where do you live? Definitely contact the local cycling association or group there, and even contact local bike shops. You may just find there are tons of great groups out there you can belong to. It will give you some more positive memories around cycling, that are independent of him. It's very worth it! 33 miles is a long race for a beginner, that's awesome! My first race was as a team member for a 24 hours race, I had only been riding on trails for like a month before I signed up, and all my teammates were men, whom had years more experience. But it was a blast, and I held my own! Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 I do yoga too and some running too! I live in Pennsylvania near Philly, I'm sure there are some clubs I just have to find them! Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 link removed The internet is a beautiful thing! Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I do yoga too and some running too! I live in Pennsylvania near Philly, I'm sure there are some clubs I just have to find them! LOL, maybe we are long lost twins...if I lived closer I'd offer to be your training buddy! Here, I found some links that may help you, some are probably for roadies, but take a look around and you might find some others too. Call and ask local shops about what they offer - many of them have weekly rides of varying levels, skills clinics, and even female-only rides which you may feel more comfortable with at least at first (women tend to be less pressuring and more patient for rides in my experience). link removed link removed link removed link removed Link to comment
thegoodgirl04 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Raykay your awsome! Thanks so much! Too bad we live in different countries! I'm going to check out the links you posted, I also started searching for a womens clinic. Funny how I came on here totally frustrated and now I feel better! Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Anytime, good luck, I really hope you do do the legwork to find a club, I think it would be very positive for you to get out there and try some 'new' things and meet some new people...and boost that confidence a bit And hey, try a couple clubs to find the right one for you since they are all so different in personality and design. Link to comment
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