simple

[CherryBlossom619]

this is very simple. my boyfriend and i just broke up and im hurting. it was mutual. we were going out for 4 years and it just wasnt working out, neither of us were happy. we break up often and get back together, but its just stupid. i this time i really want it to be over. help me, i know he'll say we should work it out, and i still love him so thats why i usually get back with him. what am i going to do... please, any advice is greatly appreciated

[DN]

Why are you not happy if you love each other? What is going wrong and why are you not able to fix it between you?

[CherryBlossom619]

there are a few problems... Jealousy for one. we are both jealous people and it gets in the way alot. he's also overprotective... when i go out with friends he calls and is ALWAYS paranoid that guys might hit on me or hurt me in some way. He says it isnt safe for me to go out at night because of crazy people (he has a point i guess but it gets annoying). and we both would like to meet new people, but the love is still there so its so hard to deal with breaking up.

[amtjrtcet]

I was in a very similar situation not long ago. I broke up w/my bf of 6yrs. I had tried to break it off b 4, a few times. He always made promises of changing, that things would b better. They never changed. If u really want it to be over, u have to stand ur ground. Don't give n 2 his attempts to make u feel guilty, & he will try.

 

I know its hard, b/c u love him, & u always will. 4 yrs is a long time to spend w/someone. Its been 4 months since I broke it off, & still want 2 call him sometimes, just 2 tell him bout my day, stuff like that. But NO CONTACT is the best way for both of u 2 heal from the break up.

 

Its not gonna happen over night, it takes time. Good luck

[DN]

OK - maybe it would be a good idea to try and address and fix those issues before breaking up.

 

If you really do love each other is it not worth trying? I would hate to see you posting on here in a few weeks or months asking for advice about getting back together and it was too late.

[xblondyx]

Well of course you're still going to love him. You were together for 4 years! But if you weren't happy together then there's no point in being together. Maybe you could just be friends? That's normally very hard so maybe you should do NC and allow yourself to heal, be happy once again then meet new people.

 

If you weren't happy then there's no use in getting back together as you will STILL be unhappy.

[Empathy]

Yes, you may still love him. But as most of us will come to find out love really isn't enough. You can love someone and not be compatible with them. You can love someone and just not be right for each other anymore. As years go by you and the ones you love will change, thereforeeee your relationships with them are going to change. Love can't stop change.