Süsser Tod Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 This thread might not be clear, if you don't understand where I'm coming from, basically, being a bipolar, among other things. People like me are considered to be not normal. There are clasifications for everyone that doesn't "fit" in the accepted standards, and they name it with disorders and syndromes. And people are always trying to fix us. Is there something really wrong with us? Are we really sick? Do we really need to be fixed? What would happen if we were, just different? You know, there are different kinds of people, different colors, different types of skins, different complexions, etc. Though I have to accept that most of us do have 2 legs, 2 arms, 2 hands, etc. Back to the point, why can't our "mental health" just be accepted as a different color of skin is? What I find most frustrating is the fact that I'm expected to be happy, when I know for a fact that I won't. I know I can't behave like people expect me to, and when I do, I'm just faking it to look normal. We get that happiness idea hammered so badly, that we also expect to be like that, making it really hard for us to figure out our own lifes. Why everything must be happiness? A simple analogy, what do you do if you have a small car instead of a SUV? Easy, learn to live with the small car, and not expect it to be able to do what a SUV does, because if you try to get it to do what the SUV does, you'll get disapointed and frustrated. My mind is like a small car, when everybody expects my mind to be like a SUV and do SUV-ish things. Well, when I try, the logical thing happens... I fail and feel disapointed, then feel even worse about myself not being able to do that. Why not just accept the small car and learn to live with it, it has disadvantages, but it also has advantages, everything must have ups and downs. Why try so hard to make it be what it isn't instead of trying to exploit it? I can tell, from my own experience, that the hardest part of my life was, when I tried to be like everybody else, and when I expected me to. So I went to therapy and tried to look for help for my "problem" And I love how everybody tells you, do this, do that, you're wrong here, this should be like that. Well, hate to break it on you, but most of the time I don't know what you are talking about, I don't even have a clue what you mean. Classic example, go out and make friends. Oh, yeah, why I didn't thought of that 10 years earlier? Maybe I tried and failed, tried again and failed again, and tried once again and you guess what happened. Maybe I was doing something I'm not supposed to... Ending in setting up myself for failure, bringing more frustration, bringing more hate towards myself and basically making my life harder and setting up myself headed towards disaster. Why I'm not like you? Well, who knows? And who is to tell if it is right or wrong? I know this "rant" won't make half a bit of sense to most people. But to me, accepting my illness has been the best way to deal with it. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Are you on medication? Because I have a 2nd cousin who when not on her meds can get a bit crazy.. I mean that seriously.. hurts herself or other people. Shes bi-polar and other things.. Link to comment
Kasai Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I'm pretty sure get what you mean, being different inside or out it shouldn't matter. While a different mentality makes it hard to live in the normal way, who want's to be normal, what is normal anyways? Silly normal people aren't normal at all. Rant away! Link to comment
Tesseract_Witch Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I think you are the victim of the idiotic stereotype. We are ALL made victims of it, at some point in our lives. I think the only way to "cure" the select few is to actually cure anyone and everyone else--for those who pick on you need to be "fixed." Link to comment
Tesseract_Witch Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Are you on medication? Because I have a 2nd cousin who when not on her meds can get a bit crazy.. I mean that seriously.. hurts herself or other people. Shes bi-polar and other things.. Why would he need medication for ranting? I have no knowledge of your backround, Suesser; however, with the information you displayed here, is there any reason you need medication? Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 People always have basically accepted my mental health. But to be honest, if it makes YOU unhappy, it DOES need to be fixed. Why suffer needlessly? Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted April 4, 2006 Author Share Posted April 4, 2006 Why would he need medication for ranting? I have no knowledge of your backround, Suesser; however, with the information you displayed here, is there any reason you need medication? According to the psychiatrists I've been to, I do need antidepressives, anxiety control pills and mood estabilizers, or at least that was my last pill coctail. Sometimes pills to get to sleep were thrown into the mix. People always have basically accepted my mental health. Wish I could say that about myself. My parents have seem to think that ignoring it, it will eventually go away... But to be honest, if it makes YOU unhappy, it DOES need to be fixed. Why suffer needlessly? Good question. Suffer needlessly? Well, when I've been the most sad has been when I've tried to be happy, when I've tried to "overcome" my depression. I can accept my cycles, I know that sometimes I'll be sad, and sometimes "happy", knowing that helps to control it, trying to ignore it and forcing myself to be kinda happy just makes the fall into depression a lot worse. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Its all about getting to that stage where its absolutely unbearable..then you HAVE to get help. Link to comment
FoxLocke Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Susser, I can really relate to what you are saying... I am that small car that people want to be an SUV as well. The way you described your "disorder" is the way that people feel about my sexual orientation...I tried to be the big SUV my entire life, and now that I've accepted that I am a small car my own family is reacting with hostility... It is hard trying to fit societies "norms" when you are "different." It crushes your self esteem and makes you feel like you are lower than dirt. Keep your head up. I am glad that you created this post. I am feeling really down today(my first really bad day in a while) and it helps to know that someone else out there knows that bad days happen... Link to comment
NJRon Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I used to envy stupid people... they always seemed very happy. I wanted to be able to walk around with a smile on my face, oblivious to all the suffering, amused by simple things like television, video games, mouth breathing. Instead, I got more and more angry that I couldn't be happy about these things. I longed to experience ignorance. To roam through life with a half-glazed shuffle and a peculiar smile plastered to my face. I found out that I can... with the right medication. I can be stupid and ignorant and happy. Or I can be myself (which is, to be true, moderately happy a good portion of the time). It's a tough call... I keep going back and forth, trying one, then the other... in the end, I don't really like either alternative. Link to comment
Tesseract_Witch Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I used to envy stupid people... they always seemed very happy. I wanted to be able to walk around with a smile on my face, oblivious to all the suffering, amused by simple things like television, video games, mouth breathing. Instead, I got more and more angry that I couldn't be happy about these things. I longed to experience ignorance. To roam through life with a half-glazed shuffle and a peculiar smile plastered to my face. I found out that I can... with the right medication. I can be stupid and ignorant and happy. Or I can be myself (which is, to be true, moderately happy a good portion of the time). It's a tough call... I keep going back and forth, trying one, then the other... in the end, I don't really like either alternative. You would actually WANT to be ignorant?! Sorry, but I have been shrouded in the thick cloud of ignorance for my entire life--and I yearn to escape it, every night and day. If you have to choose suffering or bliss---suffer and know why, for there is, in my opinion, nothing worse than not knowing. Link to comment
Tesseract_Witch Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Oh, but one counteract to my idea is my friend's aol journal entry; check out "there is no such thing as freedom, only the allowance of a larger cage." link removed [/url] Link to comment
NJRon Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 You would actually WANT to be ignorant?! Sorry, but I have been shrouded in the thick cloud of ignorance for my entire life--and I yearn to escape it, every night and day. If you have to choose suffering or bliss---suffer and know why, for there is, in my opinion, nothing worse than not knowing. I can totally understand where you are coming from. I have felt that way also. However, I find it's nice to take a vacation every now and then Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 I used to envy stupid people... they always seemed very happy. I wanted to be able to walk around with a smile on my face, oblivious to all the suffering, amused by simple things like television, video games, mouth breathing. Instead, I got more and more angry that I couldn't be happy about these things. I longed to experience ignorance. To roam through life with a half-glazed shuffle and a peculiar smile plastered to my face. I found out that I can... with the right medication. I can be stupid and ignorant and happy. Or I can be myself (which is, to be true, moderately happy a good portion of the time). It's a tough call... I keep going back and forth, trying one, then the other... in the end, I don't really like either alternative. Hmmmm maybe some happy people just realize that its a jungle out there and to make the most of it... And yes I am sure ignorance is bliss. Link to comment
NJRon Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Yeah Tyler, as I get older, I'm starting to see that. It's coming, bit by bit Link to comment
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