Don't always believe what they tell you.

[Bingo72]

My story does not have a positive outcome but I figured I'd put my two cents in.

 

I initiated the break up with my boyfriend on 11/16/05. We talked about working things out but I left it up to him since he said he was the one that didn't want to move further into our relationship, i.e. getting married, we were already together two years by then, etc. I still deeply loved him when I broke up but I figured I knew by now I wouldn't have a future with him.

 

For the next three months he kept contact, kept telling me not to move on because he was reconsidering everything and wanted us to be together again. He even said that he realized all that was missing since I had left and that he knew that we were the type that were only made for each other. I agreed not to officially 'move on' during this time because, of course, I would want him and our life back. That was my goal in the first place.

 

On a Thursday night he was still saying these things to me and even agreed to do something together the following Saturday night. We always seemed to find a reason to see each other on the weekend somehow.

Well Saturday night rolled around, I went over, used my key to get in, and walked in on him will a girl in his bedroom watching TV with him. Still in their clothes but I immediately noticed her overnight bag. I knew this didn't "just happen" that night.

 

I felt I would die from the pain of this happening to me. But, that was four weeks ago and I survived it. It was harder to be away from him during the three months 'break' than it was the night he set me up for this surprise. Never spoke to him again and I won't. Just be very cautious, sometimes you may have hurt someone bad enough to where they are just waiting at their chance to retaliate.

 

The point of my story is this: be weary of the things the ex is saying because they don't always turn out to be the truth. My case in point.

 

It's been easy getting over him since that night on 2/27/06 because the person that I had loved died that night. I knew that I'd never see the person I had loved once ever again and accepted that things would never be the same. I refused to put myself through the pain of asking him why, I just immediately removed him from my life and thanked God that I was given the opportunity to know how good it can be to love someone and knowing from that day on that I will have the chance to meet someone new. I refuse to be consumed by him or hate him, I know I will never know him as a friend again so what was the point in hating him?

 

Cut your losses early on and don't try to hang on too long to things. Sometimes that can hurt you more.

[xblondyx]

Cut your losses early on and don't try to hang on too long to things. Sometimes that can hurt you more.

 

I completely agree! Sorry to hear what you have been going through, i'm glad your surviving, i know it must hurt! Stay strong and weldone

[RayKay]

BLEH! Your ex is horrible for setting that up - WHY would he do that? Even if he was idiot enough to "forget" you were coming over, obviously he was feeding you a lot of garbage.

 

Good riddance, and wise words!

 

Happy Healing

[kellbell]

What a jerk! Sheesh!

 

I am so glad you feeling better and moving on. You deserve so much better. Thank you for those words of wisdom. You are very correct. Take care and big hugs!

[shes2smart]

Wow, that's cold. And really spineless of him.

 

Sorry you had to walk in on that. Oddly enough my husband had a similar experience with his ex (hence the reason why she's his ex...) and I had the online version with an ex of mine.

 

You're better off without him.

[Royltnxile]

I'm confused. YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM BACK IN NOVEMBER RIGHT? You were the dumper, not the dumpee? Not to be a smart azz, but did you ever consider that had you not dumped him, you would never have been in the position where you caught him with another girl? Had you not dumped him, he probably wouldn't have ever strayed like that. Think about it.

[Bingo72]

"I'm confused. YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM BACK IN NOVEMBER RIGHT? You were the dumper, not the dumpee? Not to be a smart azz, but did you ever consider that had you not dumped him, you would never have been in the position where you caught him with another girl? Had you not dumped him, he probably wouldn't have ever strayed like that. Think about it. "

 

Without going into the entire history, yes, I initiated the breakup because I saw a 35 year old man that wanted to play video games, buy a new sports car, spend $600 on a PSP and accessories but yet live in a rented trailer that has little heat and massive leaks. Definitley not marriage material but I loved him anyway. I didn't want the breakup but I knew I could never depend on him as a husband. The point of my story is this, I didn't want to leave him but I had to. He kept the contact going, he continued to tell me that he wanted me and all we had ever planned for. If you've ever been in love then you would know that this kind of stuff makes you really believe that your special to someone when they, per se, fight for you. So yes I was the dumper but only because I felt he didn't want me anymore anyway. I never expected him to be loyal and knew the day I broke it off this was a possibility, but when he was asking me not to move on and become 'sexual' with anyone else then of course I thought that meant something, that he didn't want our bond broken.