Sex & intimacy... scared about it.

[KIDD]

I was just thinking today about what I would do in a situation that might lead to another? Since I am still a virgin at 19 years old lol!Alot of kids my age couldn't hold out that long! I haven't kissed anybody at that. It's very scary to be put in a situation like that for me. I mean I think I am ready for that type of stuff but I'd probably be so nervous. Then the person being experienced in those areas would make me nervous for some reason. I'm also scared about being naked lol, I don't like being naked in front of someone but myself lol.

 

Also, since gay sex would be different from straight sex. I wonder how it would be?? I don't mean to be graphic but I don't think I would enjoy another man's you know what in that area. I mean I've heard stories about that being painful so that also frightens me. I've also heard of situations that got nasty & I'm not about to say all of that in here either lol. Having sex would be nasty because you would have to get into a dirty situation lol!

 

With that said, I'm curious as to what everyone thinks or feels on this matter. If you have experiences, please share if you want, I'm very cruious about what people feel on the gay sex issue! Thanks!

[Dako]

I'd imagine if it were someone special, it'd be natural. Sure you'd be naked, but so would they! I doubt if you concerns are any different from any other virgin. Just be sure it's the right person so it's a good thing.

[xblondyx]

Make sure it's a person you love and trust. If this person fulfils this specification then you will be comfortable around them and everything will come natural.

Don't just jump in with the first person and not enjoy the intimacy, your first time should be special. Don't worry and just go with the flow...lol

[KIDD]

Thanks for those that answered so far. I'm not planning on having sex anytime soon but I was just wondering what would happen if this friendship with this guy I'm talking to now would go off into something more. We were talking last night about the issue about having past flings & he's had experiences with relationships before & he's had sex before. Which worried me because if something were to happen between us, he'd know what to do while I wouldn't have a clue how to act in a relationship, when & not to be intimate. I have nothing to look back on as far as relationships are concerned.I am totally experienced in this department while he is.

 

Even though we've only known each other for a brief period of time. I like him & we're even talking about meeting soon at a local mall. If everything goes well & he asks me to be his boyfriend, I may accept the offer. It depends.. I'm looking out for my best interest right now & I still don't trust him 100% yet! It will take awhile for that to happen.

 

I just ponder these things & it has me wondering..

[AzureSkyes69]

I was 25 the first time I had sex and I was also scared about it.

There is no reason to rush into things.If you meet someone you really care about and trust you wont be sacred about intimacy or sex.You might only be a little nervious like we all are the first time.Don't worry when you meet that special someone it will come natural.

[UT]

Mind if I quote like crazy?

 

I was just thinking today about what I would do in a situation that might lead to another? Since I am still a virgin at 19 years old lol!Alot of kids my age couldn't hold out that long!

 

I'm 18 at the moment and I'm also a virgin. I guess for people like us it's usual to lose our virginity really and sex is many times overrated. At least the first time is overrated. Sure it's special but in many cases it won't be as good as one usually has imagined, partly because both are new at it. It's not until you've done it that you can start getting 'experienced' and really enjoy it.

 

I haven't kissed anybody at that. It's very scary to be put in a situation like that for me. I mean I think I am ready for that type of stuff but I'd probably be so nervous.

 

All I've ever kissed is a girl and it was more a peck than a kiss and it was ten years ago. I was also very scared in a way before. I wondered how it would be and if I'm not a good kisser and that I'd probably be too nervous to do anything. My boyfriend knows all my fears and he was really sweet about it "practice makes master" is what he told me. That saying has never meant a lot to me until I heard it from him. We haven't kissed yet but I'm looking forward to it. I'm still nervous but not as nervous as I was before. After all like he's going to be my, I will be his first kiss as well.

 

Then the person being experienced in those areas would make me nervous for some reason. I'm also scared about being naked lol, I don't like being naked in front of someone but myself lol.

 

I don't even like being naked in front of myself. I'm not really a "looker" so I got reason not to like seeing myself naked. But being naked it front of him has been taken care of. I'm not as scared about that as I was earlier. He accepts me for who I am.

 

Also, since gay sex would be different from straight sex. I wonder how it would be?? I don't mean to be graphic but I don't think I would enjoy another man's you know what in that area.

 

Well, gay sex isn't all about anal sex. Watching too much gay porn (not saying you do, have done or that you look at any sexual material) or listening to too many stories from straight guys. Some gay men like anal sex other don't. Some have it on regular basis, some every now and then and others never. It's all about taste. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing though. Gay sex can be performed in so many other ways. There is just tender touches and kisses, that could be enough. Penetration is not a must. That is not how you lose your virginity. Fellatio is another option or it could be performed in the other act I mentioned. My point being that anal sex or anal penetration is not mandatory when having 'gay sex'.

 

I mean I've heard stories about that being painful so that also frightens me. I've also heard of situations that got nasty & I'm not about to say all of that in here either lol.

 

Well, it can be painful if you don't do it the right way. There are no norms for what's the right way. But there are some ground rules... or more pointers. ALWAYS use condom (especially is one of you have had sex before and you can never be too sure) and lube. Don't use oil based lube with condom. Make sure that everything goes in your paste. If you're the receiver then you should be in charge. The 'giver' should be tender and listen to the 'receiver' very carefully. If it starts to hurt or feels weird or you don't like it, abort. You can try again a little later if you want to. Remember not to go all in at once, let him "go in" slow with a little bit at the time. You have a muscle back there and because it's an alien intrusion it will contract and till need a little while to get used to the feeling and loosen again. Then you can continue. As long as you're careful and you can trust the person you're with, everything should go well.

 

Having sex would be nasty because you would have to get into a dirty situation lol!

 

I'm guessing you're religious. You're not getting into a dirty situation. You're merely getting into a position unusual to you. Religion teaches us that most things about human sexuality is dirty and bad. The situation, my friend, is crucial for the human race to survive.

 

Lastly, I don't think you should be too scared. When you meet the right one it will come natural out of love and not lust. It will feel right with him. You will feel safe with him

[FoxLocke]

Kidd, I wanted to ask this question. I am thankful you beat me to it.

 

Is there an instruction manual on how to have sex with another guy out there? I think I will need it...lol. Because I don't really want to do the whole anal sex thing(that's just me...maybe eventually, but as of now I could not wrap my brain around the concept. I'd have to be really comfortable with someone and they would have to be free of ALL diseases...I am not going to gamble with my life), and I would like to have a very fulfilling sex life with my mate...

 

I mean I know everything about sex is not black and white, even with straight sex...But this has been something I've thought about. haha, of course.

 

I mean watching a porn is onething, but for all of us non professional people out there is there somekind of gay love instruction book???

[UT]

To read more about anal sex I advice you to visit link removed place. It's link removed -> Gay life -> anal sex. This place is all about informations and to help. there is no porn on this site, that I know of at least.

[jon 13]

I've also heard of situations that got nasty & I'm not about to say all of that in here either lol. Having sex would be nasty

 

 

Just to clearify,.. are u talking about the mans hmmm hmm getting coverd in ickys?

[Jinx]

Is there an instruction manual on how to have sex with another guy out there?

 

If you're looking to buy a book, link removed has its share of GLBT titles at reasonable prices (Looked there, bought, so on and so forth). I know there are a few sellers who specialize in Gay and Lesbian non-fiction books which cover your whole dating, sex, life, relationship, family, etc... Stuff.

 

Maybe I have an Amazon bias, I don't know.

 

Anyhow, if you're a brave soul, public library and Barnes & Noble. The public libraries usually have something GLBT related and often those do have their focus on sexuality with the sexuality.

 

Nonetheless to the point, there are books which are strictly based on sex as it relates to Gay Men. I've seen them while GLBT book cruising as I call it, so does exist, now the quality is a whole different story. Usually before I buy a book I read reviews and see if it is worth it by company and public opinion.

 

Edited: If we're speaking of books I took a look around the internet and this is one devoted strictly to GLBT literature and such.

 

link removed

 

Also edited to add a response to the original post.

 

As for sex and intimacy, given I'm not a male I can't really say much about the whole Gay male sex issue, though the resource UT gave is excellent. link removed has a wealth of information on Gay life in general.

 

I would presume having an experienced partner would have its benefits. If you have two beginners so to speak, you'll both have the same concerns and worries and may even feel more intimidated by the overall idea of certain things. Whereas, if you have one beginner and one experienced partner, if he is going to follow through in the relationship I'm assuming it would only be logical for him to guide you along and teach you the ropes and you both learning things about sex and each other along the way. Even though gay sex is different in its own regard as compared to its heterosexual and lesbian counterparts, there are still basic components which are similar.

 

Anyhow as for the experience level and being naked, it seems those are all normal fears. The fear of flaws, imperfections, ridicule, rejection, second guessing one's ability, etc... the whole kit and kaboodle. Again, with the good partner it should lay those worries to rest and you should be able to do the same for your partner. Its a 50/50 deal in any situation as that.

[Imaginary]

*EyEs WiDe OpEn*

 

Anal sex isn't exactly, and indeed, by far it isnt, the main sexual activity between gay males. There isn't one. Maybe you prefer oral, I don't know. Or just making out in the bed... something like that. But if you get uncomfortable just get out of there. If someone is going someplace you don't feel like going, stop.

 

As for 'the first kiss' and etc, etc, etc. Don't worry about it either. Just try to be comfortable. Same with being naked and yadda yadda. If you overthink it you will screw it up. It will come to you. Maybe this sounds corny or something, but that's how I think it should be.

[KIDD]

LOL yeah, I'm sorry Foxlocke I have to laugh at this but I actually feel the same way. Sex complicates things & I'm waiting for the right person, one I can trust & I can be real with..