NC here i come.

[jchan]

i started nc since sunday night.

so it's day 3 of NC

 

gosh i miss her, hopefully i can get the support i can get. it's really hard to sit there and study, do things, without thinking about the ex. but it's something i know i must do. do it for me. not for her. i have to learn to love myself again. although i still love her. but i must ensure i love myself enough not to feel sad, resentment, pain, or anger, or betrayal, or any negative feelings. by the end of this process i hope to come out a better person. hopefully changing for the better.

 

although i know i shouldn't change for another person. i know that i must change for my own sake. and my ex was right on one thing, i must be positive, and i must stop being so negative. right now i will love myself, but i cannot settle for less, i must improve myself, because when i see myself in her perspective, i seriously can't love the me at this point. i'm sobbing, sad, depressed, negative, immature, most importantly i need the 3 important traits in a male who is date-worthy- Challenge, Confidence, Control.

 

day 3 of nc.

it's so hard to fight that feeling of loneliness when i know i'm not lonely. i have many people around me you guys, my friends, my family. she's just one person. a small milestone in a long journey called life.

 

i talked to one of my friends today, he told me i should still hang around her if i think she's worth it. i'm not sure what this means. but if i must continue NC then i must fufill it. i shall be there for her spiritually. but for now i must tend to my own wounds.

 

wish me luck.

 

i'm learning. and i shall continue to learn. life is a lesson and we all learn it when it's through. but we're still alive, and there is so much to learn.

[jl301]

jchan,

 

It seem like you got the right idea. Keep with it and know the people here on this forum are here for your support.

 

I'm on day #3 of NC myself after the ex broke the NC last weekend by calling me with an different number. I was on day # 19 when she broke it.

 

Hang in there and know eventually things will look up for all of us.

[Phoenix69]

I myself am on day #3. I broke up with my boyfriend over a week ago, but had to see him on the weekend to sort out the rest of "our" stuff. Its hard because I have to give him his pay every week, it still goes into my account for now. Doesn't it suck when the one person you spoke to everyday, is no longer there and you know you should't have the contact, but crave it at the same time

[tylercdurden2004]

Very mature and sounds like you have done a lot of self analysis a key component of confidence

Keep up the good work and may you find the strength.

[jchan]

thanks tyler

and good luck to you too jl301 and phoenix

she has a flight tomorrow to Hong Kong/Beijing. it's so tempting to wish her a good flight yet i know i must maintain my stance.

 

it's really hard to sleep when that little "night light" no longer shines before you sleep to say goodnight.

 

i must stay strong.

[tylercdurden2004]

Mmmm...Mate I just broke up with my girl of 3 years last week and the hardest part has been the bigger bed and no good night, and no good morning.

[hoping]

i toottallly agree..........or when ya wake up in the middle of the night, and dont have that person to hug...lol...it sucks

[jchan]

definitely. it's hard to think about how during the relationship, while in at night, you were their teddy bear. that object that they cuddled when they slept. but don't forget getting a hug from family soothes the weary soul. giving yourself a hug promotes love towards yourself which adds to the healing process.

[jchan]

i'm trying my best to forget her, but now, my mind is still subconsciously thinking about her.

 

had the same dream of her (the one prior to breaking up) where we were going out, having a blast, as a married couple. gosh it hurts so much. she has a flight in half an hour, i have the urge to wish her a safe flight.

 

nc IS TOUGH

[jchan]

i think i'm losing it over this girl.

i am beung torn up in the inside but fighting it. i miss her so much. i love her so much. i am at great astonishment and i am lost.

tried doing so many things but i seriusly don't know what to do

it's so hard very hard.

[jchan]

okay day 4 here i come, i embrace you. the curse of technology. it's blessings.

 

it's so hard to believe that we have to go through all of this (NC, the emotions and all) but we have to remain strong. i panicked today ended up calling a friend early in the morning about what to do in regards to calling up my ex. she said call her. scary situation.

 

but yes. it's a shame that i have to put my ex in the avoid box so i can heal my heart and become a man again. a man that she first fell in love with. but a new man. one who is more challenging. one who lays down the rules. and one who doesn't take BS from people.

 

tonight's another meeting night for a school club. i'm the team leader and i must keep my composure to lead my team to performing well.

 

wish me luck everybody, will be back in a few hours.

[tylercdurden2004]

JChan,

 

I can totally relate. I am a supervisor and above all a leader to my team and when I broke up with my girl of 3 years 2 weeks ago I knew the show had to go on. I was honest with my team members and told them what was happening and how I was feeling and left it at that. i didnt get into complainign etc cause as a leader you have to respect other people foremost and understand that people arent part of the team to deal with your issues. It depends on the strength of the team and I am lucky that my team which consists of all men is really supportive, in that manly kinda way of course

[jchan]

just wondering is it okay to meet new people?

e.g. ask people on dates for coffee and all during NC?

[tylercdurden2004]

absolutely. go out and have fun enjoy yourself and most importantly keep it all light.

[at750gr]

Of course it is.. Not only is it ok, but I believe it's mandatory. You have to build up your confidence, confirm the fact that you can attract other people and enjoy your own time. Only then will you be strong enough to see your own situation from a more impartial perspective.