Should I contact Her?

[calgaryguy]

So Im sure most of you know the story, my ex and I met up and went for drinks and what not about 2 weeks ago. A few days later I was supposed to go see her at work but it snowed here quite a bit and I didnt want to drive in those conditions so I didnt go. Since then we spoke once. I figured another bit of NC would help, but it seems like shes mad at me now or something. Usually if I didnt contact her for a week or so she would msg me or text me or something but now she hasnt done eather......should I call or not?

[Relationship Coach]

should I call or not?

 

Depends on what you want, are you looking to re-establish the relationship or enter the "friend zone" with her? It sounds like your relationship may of been derailed by a lack of good communication which still seems to be an issue. When you say,

but it seems like shes mad at me now or something. Usually if I didnt contact her for a week or so she would msg me or text me or something but now she hasnt done eather

 

To me you need to either talk about this or go NC and don't talk at all. This mixture of LC/NC is sending her conflicting messages and she may very well think you are playing a game. Right now, you are losing! Get on one side of the fence or the other, what you are doing is making things worse.

 

RC

[calgaryguy]

hmmm good suggestion, but the reason the relationship ended was not cause of the communication. Its weird how we used to talk every day and now its such a big deal.

[Relationship Coach]

Usually if I didnt contact her for a week or so she would msg me or text me or something

 

So was this during your relationship or afterwards? Why did the two of you break up and who initiated it?

 

RC

[calgaryguy]

No this was after the break up. We didnt talk for the first little while after it but then she came around more and more. She initiated it by not contacting me and ignoring my phone calls so when I finally got a hold of her I broke it off. She still claims she did the breaking up but didnt know how to do it.

[manalone]

If want her man sallow your pride and go for it. If not there will be someone else that takes your place.

[Relationship Coach]

Once again, I stick by what I said, the two of you had and are still experiencing communication problems.

 

She initiated it by not contacting me and ignoring my phone calls so when I finally got a hold of her I broke it off. She still claims she did the breaking up but didnt know how to do it.

 

What do you want out of this?

 

RC

[calgaryguy]

Im not sure what I want, I know shes been seeing people and I know I have been seeing a lot of people. I still love her. I have never felt like this about anyone else, i dont know what to do.

[Nathalie1970]

Calgary,

 

I thought when you went out with her after work a couple of weeks ago that you didn't know if you wanted to get back together with her then. What has changed your mind?? Is it the fact that she is not contacting you?? I think you should remain in NC and let her come to you. (If that is what you really want). Trust me, I am not one to talk since I can't seem to ignore my ex bf's calls or emails. You need to sit back and ask yourself, what do I want??

 

If you still want to be with her, then I think you should talk to her. No more game playing, let her know how you feel and if she still doesn't want to be with you then walk away. Do absolute NC, no replying to in any form of contact she might initiate.

 

Good Luck and hope some of this helps

[calgaryguy]

I dont know what changed but im thinking about her more lately, I cant seem to stop comparing her to girls I meet. Its strange really.

 

I know I need to ask her one last time if she would like to work things out but I dont know when, or how. I agree if she gives me some BS then I should walk away for good. I think Im going to give it till next week to see if she will contact me, who knows she could be busy with a new bf for all I know. In a way that would be nice, cause my decision would be easy to make.

 

Thanx.

[at750gr]

I am in such a similar situation mate...

 

I'm trying to analyse things as much as possible and I always end up angry about the whole thing. It seems there is a communication problem between you two. Maybe it's the "pride" factor that comes into play and this could go on for a long time, something you don't want - trust me!

 

If you both wait for the other to call first, you'll probably never talk. What's the point in that? Maybe you should just make your move and be open and frank to her.

[calgaryguy]

hmmmm good point but I think Im going to stick with NC for a little while longer. Perhaps next week I will call her or something.