useless Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Hi, im in a relationship of nearly 2 years and i know this is the only relationship i want to ever be in! i love the guy beyond belief and think so highly of him. But i made a mistake when i was drunk the other night. I was online and talking to one of my gay friends, (who my bf doesnt like me talking to) I was drunk, and asked him to do stuff on his webcam for me. and he did. Now i feel really really guilty. I obviously cant tell my bf, but i need some advice on how to get over this and also, i'm kinda scared my bf will find out from the webcam guy.... x x Link to comment
Skippy Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 silly girl!!! LIVE with it.. shut up .. what he doesnt know cannot harm him... Pray that he doesnt find out. Dont tell him, it is YOUR punishment for your stupidity. Apologies to to gay guy for your stupidity. and ban him from MSN. Since you Bf doesnt like the gay guy they arent going to talk, and if he ask why gay guy isnt on MSN anymore say that you decided not to continue being friends with him. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 My question is ... why did that gay guy do stuff for you (assuming he knew you were in a relationship?) A real friend would have said *no, you're drunk, lets just talk shall we..* Im thinking maybe you should just stop talking to this guy anyway..and dont mix drink and msn EVER. Link to comment
useless Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Hey, the guy is stupid, but even though i was drunk, its still no excuse. i feel bloody terrible, but i love him and ill make sure he can trust me in the future. I hate myself for it, but i was utterly pished. Link to comment
Skippy Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Hey, the guy is stupid, but even though i was drunk, its still no excuse. i feel bloody terrible, but i love him and ill make sure he can trust me in the future. I hate myself for it, but i was utterly pished. EXCUSES!!! Dont blame anyone else for your mistake and your stupidity. Take responsibility, it is your mistake and not his, LIVE with it. And if you tell your boyfriend about this you are only unburding yourself and making he feel like * * * *. YOUR mistake, admitt it to yourself and live with it. Link to comment
useless Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 lol thanx for your support, i know its my mistake, which is why i said "Hey, the guy is stupid, but even though i was drunk, its still no excuse" - meaning there is no excuse for my actions! Anyways, i obviously feel crap about it and was looking for support, ill never do anything so stupid again and will make it up to him....x x Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 OK - so let me see if I got this.... You got drunk and watched some guy do dirty stuff over a webcam and feel like you cheated? Right? And the guy is a friend, and a gay friend who your bf is jealous of?? How will your bf find out? Why would that guy tell him? What is his reaction gonna be? I say, no harm no foul. You never cheated. You watched porn on an interactive feed. Has he ever had a lap dance or been to a strip club? I don't suggest lying, but not confessing a drunken mistake, little more than a peep show, seems gratutitous. Good luck! Link to comment
southerngirl Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I think its more than watching porn if they are 'friends' and were chatting while this is going on. Sounds closer to a cyber situation. Yeah I agree, dont tell him... and Dont chat with the guy much more if your drunk LOL Link to comment
FoxLocke Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Since it was over webcam and you never have to see him again...Who really cares? lol. Well, I am glad you feel conflicted about it. It shows that you really do care for your mate. Which is great! =0) Link to comment
Mrocza Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 What you did was wrong, but you know you made a mistake and you obviously regret it. The guy doesn't sound like much of a friend...no friend would strip on cam for you. I suggest that little block and delete button??? Stay off the computer when you're intoxicated. Link to comment
UT Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Useless, first I want you to disregard anything Skippy has told you. I understand that you feel terrible. What has been done has been done and you can't change that, you can only try to love and adapt to the new situation. You or anyone else isn't stupid because of that happened. You were drunk and made a mistake. We all make mistakes, keep that in mind. There are a number of things you can do at this point. You could sit down and talk to your spouse. Tell him what happened and apologise. He might see it for what it was and forgive you. On the other hand he might just do the opposite. You might be able to talk to your gay friend and make him understand that you were drunk, it will never happen again, that you're truly sorry about what you did and ask him not to tell your spouse as a favour to you. But if it doesn't work and he tells your guy it will probably just be worse because he didn't hear it from you. If you tell him you're honest, at least you've got that. You can try and sweep it under the rug and hope that he won't talk about it and that he hasn't told anyone. Something I'd like to ask you though. See this as some kind of lesson. Try not to drink too much. It makes us do things we usually wouldn't do, makes us act in bad ways. Think about your actions and what consequences they might have and be a little extra nice to your spouse. Hope everything works out for the better. Good luck and take care. Link to comment
scarew Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 tawreesaw, Do you think that a lap dance is acceptable? And internet relationships? I know you were just trying to make her feel better but I am dealing with some controversies about things like that right now myself, and I personally dont think that its acceptable to have someone else arouse your partner to that extent (unless your going for an approved orgey). But honestly, if you DO think its okay I would really like to hear your opinion on why. Just because I am afraid of ending up in that situation one day where my bf gets a lapdance and I freak out about it. I would love to hear the other side of it. Link to comment
UT Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Considering where this topic is posted and that Useless hasn't stated his or her gender I'm not quite sure why people assume it's a female. I don't really think that a woman having a gay man doing stuff in front of her is enough to post in this section (but I can be wrong). Really, if useless were to be a woman the gay friends' sexuality would be irrelevant. It would only be the act itself and thus, partly, I think useless is male. Link to comment
useless Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 lol, useless is certainly male, and thanks most of your for ur support. Its helped. Ive decided not to tell my bf. Cause it was a mistaken and i know we'd be finished if he knew. And as i'd rather die than lose him, i wont be making any mistakes like that ever again! I understand SCAREW, what your saying is right, but maybe to support someone rather than criticise in a situation like this, is maybe the best option. Anyway, thanx alot everyone! u've been of great help and support Link to comment
Tigris Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Just learn from your mistake and forget about it. Telling your bf what happened will only hurt him. Link to comment
Skippy Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 fairie16 HAd mant gay friends?? gezzz all the gay friend that i have are freaky ,,, and dont thin much about doing things over the webcam, I suppose they dont have sexual hangups like the average joe. Link to comment
ocrob Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I don't think you should beat yourself up. If you feel guilty, then don't do it again. I don't feel like your cheated. I am sure your friend was just having fun with you. It is not like you had a sexual relationship or cheated. I am not condoning it, but really there was no harm done. I can imagine what the guy did and I am sure it was fun for him and interesting to you. Big deal. I don't believe in infidelity, but I would say this was a unique situation and if you don't say anything nobody will be hurt. Link to comment
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