HELP!!!Did we lose love, is it worth letting go?

[Maggiebebe]

Where do I start, I'm 17, Confused, and I Love my boyfriend with all my heart.

 

okay so this isn't going to a "one time he said "i hate you" deals".This is where I am hurt.

 

We have been going out for 9 months, we built a non-physical relationship for the first 6 months, and after that we became a little more physical. My big value is FRIENDSHIP BEFORE LOVE. you can't off-the-bat love someone, because Love is a lesson in itself, no one's the teacher, everyone is the learner.

 

So, he went on a vacation for 13 days and then we had one day together when he got back and i leaft the next day for 13 days also. Not so bad huh, and Neither of us cheated, we are both against that.

I get off the plane, i had a suspicion that he had somet hings to talk about so the last 3 days of this trip I had some thinking to do, you know I love this boy so much, he is my best friend. I get off the plane and kiss him, his kiss felt different, more distant. (people say i have this weird way of reading people im close with) we get in the car and he says, "we need to talk..." i start crying. I don't know what to think, my heart aches to be Loved and I don't know if the one person it aches for is there anymore.

 

We get to a park and he mentions some things in our relationship that are bothering him, mainly about me. He first says, "I don't know how much you really love me" it hurts to know you have put so much into something and the one person who should be realising it doesn't!!!

 

we talked and then i said i will do everything in my power to make it work. but he has to be there to help me along, and he NEEDS TO GIVE ME TIME.

 

so for the next week i am confused, crying all the time, i had my senior pictures one day and my mom asks if everything is okay between me and my boy and i burst out in tears.

 

MY BELIEFES:

i believe that love and lust have completely different qualities and one should be able to determine the difference. I believe that God doesn't have one person for us, but many on the way to finding the one you will settle with and those many prepare you and hurt you in ways you can't imagine so that the one you are to be with is so golden you put your heart and soul to their grave. I believe that Love has problems, that love is about sacrafices and that love needs to be cared for. I believe that a non-physical relationship would beat all the odds, one with physical stuff needs to be watched 24/7 it needs to be built on love. my value in life is whatever you do wherever you are build it on love and love only. because only then will it mean something to anyone.

 

PROBLEM: Now that I have been thinking round the clock, (in my sleep, at work, when im with friends, when im with family) i have thought a lot about some stuff like how I know some things aren't meant to be, and I know that sometimes we need to accept who people are. (he doesn't seem to do that a lot) i have realised that he doesn't like to think about what little things make me happy. some of those little things interferre with the little things he doesn't like to do, which i understand, BUT WE ALL HAVE NEEDS AM I WRONG?

He said that I don't do some of those little things for him, and in reality, I WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE UNLESS I AM HIM, because no one can do what you like unless you inform them.

 

I am in immence amounts of pain, he seems like he wants it to be over, hes not clear with body language, i seem to be doing A LOT OF THE WORK NOW. i want him to know that i do all that i can but sooner or later im going to breakdown from all the stress of not being loved in return.

 

PLEASE HELP!!!

 

Please help me, you can analyse what i have said you can give me tips. anything please!!!

 

or email me email removed

[sadmonkey]

I feel you girl, guys need to be more clear on things, they expect us to be mind readers and be able to fix things without their help, but it doesnt work like that. I wish I could give you some advise, but Im going through something like that too and all I can tell you is to be strong and hang in there. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes we dont understand them, but time will tell why they happened.

[taken]

i wanna say that he obviously has been considering in the past 26 what he should have been considering from the start. nine months is a long time. he should have been honest with you in the beginning about the whole "you dont give me what i need" crap. i think you guys both need time to your selves and i want you both to think long and hard about your relationship. i think there is something going on that you dont know of. i dont wanna hurt your feelings but i think something has made im jump and start thinking, i dont know what it is, as i dont know you, but ithink something has happened when you were gone.

 

talk to him. find out what went wrong in your relationship. remember "true love finds a way" if its meant to be, then you guys will work it out. if not then it wasnt and that guy that is right for you is still out there.

good luck and i hope you guys make it through. i really do hope i helped you. take care and god bless.

[kittykat]

not necessarily.

 

I read my guy's mind.. but he left..

[Maggiebebe]

well it's about 12:45am here, and We are on our last thread, I CAN'T put myself through this anymore, theres too much. It all made me realise that our relationship was almost dependent on stress in our lives and as soon as that disappeared we started to see what was so wrong.

He didn't call me again tonight....I had to call him, I was sick of going on with him knowing theres a problem, and not wanting to solve it. He knows he has hurt me, but doesn't know to what extent.

I'm ending this tommz night, after work. JOY. Im in tears, i have been for the past 4 hours, and well actually since i came back i havn't had a night i didn't cry.

Things aren't meant to be, it kills me to know this, but im only a teen, A KID....and i think this is the end of the world.

 

All you guys ever hear is the bad stuff that ever happened in the relationship....don't you ever wonder about the good things?

 

I'll tell you this much, e has done so much for me, in the past 9 months, it kills me to know how much i had. He was the one person i could vent about anything to....i was the same for him. we were perfect for eachother. once school ended no more stress filled our lives, we had to be a stronger relationship.

 

Tonight he said he wants to be best friend, basically to paint you a picture of how good of friends we are and how this actually made me stop crying for a weird reason, without all the physical stuff we had, we were the best of friends careing for everything and everyone....I want to be able to kiss him though, his kiss was one place i felt he didn't see me as cheating him out on the 50/50 part of our relationship...he saw me as giving him at that time what he was giving me. We don't like talking over the phone i believe that anything that is important should be good enough to talk face to face.

 

whats to become of me? AS OF TOMMZ NIGHT I WILL BE THE ONE PERSON WHO I FELL IN LOVE WITH's best friend....im happy as can be, because i know this is the best for us, and maybe we will rekindle down the road, maybe we won't.

 

i don't know. im so hurt. torn....and all i ever wanted, was someone to hold me when i was down, in times like these, and that one person, is at home sleeping as we speek. so i left off on the phone wanting to ask him one question... i want to know if he has ever felt like i hurt him, anytime in the relationship, and then i want to know if he knows how much this screwing around has hurt me......

 

im off to sleep, i work and then i cry, i cry then i work, lifes never going to change only the people in it,the fun part is the way they shape you.

 

~Maggie

 

"love is always there sometimes we just are too scared of it and need time to grow up before we can feel it again...let love lift us up..."-Maggie