Evil Stepmother....

[orangecounty]

Hey guys, I just totally need to vent. I'm 22, still at home, my sister just moved out and my brother hasn't lived with us for a long time. I live with my dad, my stepmom and two wild half siblings. My stepmom has always been a really cold, stuckup type woman. When I was much younger she left a piece of paper in our den (where us kids would play) it was a little family tree (she was pregnant at the time) it said "mama" "dada" and "bebe." She taught my younger sister this phrase to say over and over again. It gave me a strong message that she didn't consider myself nor my siblings apart of the family. Then they started taking family pictures together, just the four of them. Am I out of line to be upset over this stuff? Then a few months ago, I was living in Florida by myself for the summer. While I was gone she went through all my stuff in my room and "reorganized." I feel like she was snooping. I don't get it, I've was always a good kid, I'm a nice person, I don't get into trouble and I'm hard working. She is SO lukewarm with me. I've tried expressing myself to my dad but he just says we have to accept her for who she is. I feel somtimes like the silence is so loud it's hurting my ears, that best describes my current living situation. I pretty much just keep to myself now, I've tried talking to her for years but she never seems very interested. And she LOVES to take the opposite view on absolutely everything I bring up, even if she doesn't believe what she's talking about. I still have a few years left of university so I cant move out just yet, that'll be a ways down the road. I absolutely adore my dad, I love him with all my heart.

I don't think I really have a question, I just needed to vent because I have no one to talk to.

Thanks

[Meow18]

Well there's got to be something your dad loves about her? Maybe she just doesn't show you that side of her.

 

Do your siblings feel the same?

 

It could be a number of things. Maybe she just doesn't feel right getting close with you. Or maybe she senses that you don't like her. Which from your point of view it could be understandable.

 

Obviously she's not going anywhere. And unless you move out, you aren't going anywhere. So the sad fact is that things probably won't change much unless something is done. Perhaps you could talk to her about this?

[cdy]

Not all step mothers are that way but there are a few bad ones out there. I think you should just get on with your life. I know you must love your dad verry much, so just keep in contact with him and remember that one day your dad will actually see her for who she really is. Things will change. It may not be today or the next but she will eventually do him the same way. Hang in there and be strong for yourself.

[Sievers]

Hey There,

 

I had a similar situation to you, my mother left my father and I when I was 2 and my stepmum came into my Dad's life when I was 4. Everything was fine for a while (she put on a good act) until she fell pregnant then my whole life changed. She did everything in her power to make my life miserable and make me feel like I was an outcast in my own family, always second best to her kids. The worst thing that happened was that she turned my Dad against me and made me seem like I was constantly misbehaving. I knew I was well-behaved but she was so manipulative she managed to blow everything out of proportion to make me look bad. Unfortunatley it was easier for my father to listen to her and take on her views with me than to challenge her. I felt so abandonded and alone and was too scared to ever talk to my father. She made it clear she wanted me out of the house so I left home when I was 15 and have never been back. My father and I talk occasionally but always on a superficial level which makes me so sad because we used to be super close.

 

Here's some advice from someone who has been where you are:

 

- Your stepmother is insanely jealous of you. She is jealous becuase you are a part of your fathers life that she was not part of, you are a constant reminder of your mum and dads relationship and she can't handle it. She worries that becuase you are a result of a broken relationship that your Dad will favour you over her kids because of guilt. Thats why she tries so hard to put you down and make you look bad.

- As hard as it is to digest, remember that her dislike for you is not personal. If anyone else was in your shoes she would see them as a threat too, it's just human nature.

- The most important...TALK TO YOUR DAD!!! Let him know whe she upsets you but try not to make it look like a witch hunt against her. Start it off gently like "Dad, I'm really upset because I don't think ***** likes me, I found a piece of paper in the den with this on it....."

This is best thing you can do!!! And go to him everytime she is nasty to you. I really regret not telling my Dad how I was feeling and can't help think things may have been very different if I had.

- Last but not least, DON'T LET HER WIN!! If you move out, it's exactly what she's been plotting!! She wants to make your life hell so you'll leave home and she and her precious little family alone to be a family like she wants without any outside threats like you to make her feel insecure!!! Don't give her this satisfaction!!! Stay as long as you like and she will start to get desparate and then she will become more obvious and hopefully your Dad will see her true colours. Be careful not to be spiteful to her as she will tell your Dad, just try to be fair and nice to her (through gritted teeth), it will be hard but worth it in the end. Keep up the talk with your Dad and bond a close relationship with him and it should all work out for you.

[redrose85]

I don't have an evil stepmother, but I do have an evil stepfather. Actually I refer to him as my Mother's Husband. Sievers- I had enough and left home when I was 17, so I know how you feel. I know how hard it is to no longer have that parent in your life. My Mother has never forgiven me for leaving, and though we were both at my brother's wedding yesterday, she said probably two words to me the entire day, etc... completely sad and awkward. The worst part of the evil step-people is that they ruin families and tear them apart. I'm basically the black sheep of my family (mother's side) because I took a stand against his bs. It's really hard. OP- I know it's really hard. I don't have much advice except be sure to stay close to your Dad, don't make waves and put up with it as long as you can. There's no real fix for evil steps.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Dont give.Its war.