severly depressed and confused.

[MichelleyBelly]

When I had jus turned 16 I had met my first love. We stayed together for over 2 years and had a flawless relationship and were engaged. We were not only together as partners we were together as best friends. When I turned 18 I basically lost all my friends cause I devoted all my time to my boyfriend and never no time to anyone else. I know at the time it had to be done but I broke up with him due to needing to have time alone. I had a lot of things to figure out and a lot of things to go through. The whole time after I broke up with him I missed him greatly. But the way I was feeling I could be with him at the time. Its been 2 1/2 years and my feelings for him are sooo potent. In that time he got a girlfriend. They have been together for about two years. I never said anything to him about how I felt cause its not my place to budge in and say what I should say. I had bumped into him recently and I thought him and his girl were apart. I dont know why but I had the complete vibe that they werent together. So I send him an e-mail that went like this;

 

>Heya Tyson

>

>How have you been? I dont know how to start this but... basically

>I still have pretty intense feelings for you. Its not cause I had

>jus bumped into you recently this has been going through my head for

>quite sometime now actually a long time. I know I was the one that

>broke up with you but I cant say I regret it cause it was what made

>me realize how much you meant to me. I hope to God you dont think

>of me as a cold bitch for that cause it wasnt easy at all! and

>leaving and seeing you made me ache in the most potent way, that and

>also having to let go of the bestest friend I had ever made in my

>life. Once in a while I would pull out every card and letter you

>have written to me along the pics and read and look at em and it

>burns and wounds me sooo badly. I jus sit there and cry extremely

>confused and frusterated and I would get this hopeless empty

>feeling, those things that made me once have tears of joy give me

>sad tears. I never had it in me to be able to let you know how I

>felt so I jus stuffed it up and tried to move on. I tried dating

>and other relationships but I wouldnt let them work out cause one

>question always came up and the question jus got more and more

>intense as I tried more and more to move on. That question was "did

>I let go of something that was meant to be? ". Well thats how I

>feel now, I let go of something that was meant to be. I cant let

>this question linger anymore so I need you to answer it for me. I

>respect whatever you have to say to me even if it involves you ragin

>at me. I know once I get an answer to all this it will make

>everything a lot easier and I know I can understand and deal with

>whatever you may have to say. I am sorry if this letter sounds like

>it was written by a 5 year old. I hope this doesnt scare you off

>and that you can still consider me a friend and that we could go

>boarding still.........

>

>Michelle

>

>Please write back

 

he replyed with ;

 

 

Michelle

 

Wow, honestly, I had no idea you felt this way at all. After we broke up I had a very large emptiness inside for a long time. I didnt know what to do, I tried seeing other people and it just wasn't working. I missed you immensely but never ever thought of the chance of getting you back. The thought of us not being together anymore was eating at me more than you can imagine. All I could do was push it down further and try to not think about it, I figured it was all just a lost cause.

 

I have no idea if it was meant to be or not because I cannot be certain of that at this time. I don't know if either of us can tell of what becomes of our futures. Time will only tell I guess.

 

I won't, however, ever forget the times we had together. I can still, to this day, consider lots of them the best i've ever had. I always drift off and remember how much fun we all had back in the day and miss it so much.

But anyways, how have you been? It was nice getting to see you again the other nite at esquires. I had a lot of fun talking to you again. You should stop by more often or give me a call, you have my number now. I am definitely down for hanging out and chill'n an' ill'n..haha. So feel free to write me back, or give me a call, it would be really nice to get to see you more often. I even miss just hanging out with you.

 

love ya always....

 

Tyson.

 

 

His reply did not answer my question!! At first I really didnt understand what the answer meant. Then a month later I found out he is still with his girlfriend. It was my fault fully to think they werent together anymore. But I really dont know what to do. My feelings are sooo intense and I am thinkin about him 24/7. All I can remember is these best moments of my life. Everywhere I go I remember it. In a way Im tryin to pull back time by talkin to my old friends and chilling with them. I really need some good advice on what to do with this situation. I really think in my heart that me and him are meant to be and I jus cant accept that not what it is. I have talked to him a couple times since this email and chilled with him and stuff. I am the one to call him and he is usually talkative and says I am gonna be here come stop by if yah want. At coffee we usually jus chill and chat with a couple others. Anyways, ANY ADVICE?

[badmotorfinger]

I don't really know what to tell you exactly, to make anything easier for you. But what you need to do is find out how he really feels for you, and what he wants out of life right now. That would be the best thing to do. Even if he has a girlfriend that doesn't mean anything, they might not even be that happy together. It seems like he still likes you, so be patient and try not to bother him so much about it. Just have a little "talk"with him, and get everything resloved. It would be best if you did it face to face. Ask him first if he is really happy with the relationship he is in, and then go from there. I guess that can be your ice breaker. And then you could ask him if he had the chance would he take you back or try to have a long lasting relationship with you or just be friends. I'm not trying to tell you what to say, but just trying to give you an idea of what you might want to tell him. but hopefully this will help out some.

[sisterlynch]

Just because he has a girlfriend, it doesn't mean he is married. Give him a call, he said it is OK. Maybe they have a very open relationship. Or maybe he isn't very serious about her. Show him that you have changed. Maybe he has moved on, maybe he hasn't, you cannot really tell from the letter. One thing I have noticed with men is that they are very non-committed. Sometimes they pretend that they only want a friendship when they are really attracted to you. Maybe he is with this other girl and doesn't care that much for her anymore. Only time will tell...like he said in the letter. You could probably hasten the end of his relationship by persuing him again. We all make mistakes! You needed some time off, now you have it together again. Go for it.

[Wizard]

You broke his heart once and now he has rebuilt it. But he obviously still has a door open for you.

 

Be VERY patient, even more patient that you ever thought you could be. In relationships, TIME is a master key to play very carefully. It all needs time to adjust. Pressure is the worst thing to do. You needed time. Now he needs it. He has a girl-friend. And he probably fears you...

 

Be friends and patiently wait to see his signals. Never mention the past. Talk always as if you had never been together; only present and future. Show him affection moderately and keep distance. You must start all over again.

 

Good luck and keep us informed.

[knightbear]

your young so enjoy life...you will meet mr right in do time

[Texas Consultant]

This is where "just being friends" is useful - it gives you intimate but non-sensual time to get to know if this person is indeed, renewed and restored and ready for compatible dating.