When I had jus turned 16 I had met my first love. We stayed together for over 2 years and had a flawless relationship and were engaged. We were not only together as partners we were together as best friends. When I turned 18 I basically lost all my friends cause I devoted all my time to my boyfriend and never no time to anyone else. I know at the time it had to be done but I broke up with him due to needing to have time alone. I had a lot of things to figure out and a lot of things to go through. The whole time after I broke up with him I missed him greatly. But the way I was feeling I could be with him at the time. Its been 2 1/2 years and my feelings for him are sooo potent. In that time he got a girlfriend. They have been together for about two years. I never said anything to him about how I felt cause its not my place to budge in and say what I should say. I had bumped into him recently and I thought him and his girl were apart. I dont know why but I had the complete vibe that they werent together. So I send him an e-mail that went like this;
>Heya Tyson
>
>How have you been? I dont know how to start this but... basically
>I still have pretty intense feelings for you. Its not cause I had
>jus bumped into you recently this has been going through my head for
>quite sometime now actually a long time. I know I was the one that
>broke up with you but I cant say I regret it cause it was what made
>me realize how much you meant to me. I hope to God you dont think
>of me as a cold (Censored) for that cause it wasnt easy at all! and
>leaving and seeing you made me ache in the most potent way, that and
>also having to let go of the bestest friend I had ever made in my
>life. Once in a while I would pull out every card and letter you
>have written to me along the pics and read and look at em and it
>burns and wounds me sooo badly. I jus sit there and cry extremely
>confused and frusterated and I would get this hopeless empty
>feeling, those things that made me once have tears of joy give me
>sad tears. I never had it in me to be able to let you know how I
>felt so I jus stuffed it up and tried to move on. I tried dating
>and other relationships but I wouldnt let them work out cause one
>question always came up and the question jus got more and more
>intense as I tried more and more to move on. That question was "did
>I let go of something that was meant to be? ". Well thats how I
>feel now, I let go of something that was meant to be. I cant let
>this question linger anymore so I need you to answer it for me. I
>respect whatever you have to say to me even if it involves you ragin
>at me. I know once I get an answer to all this it will make
>everything a lot easier and I know I can understand and deal with
>whatever you may have to say. I am sorry if this letter sounds like
>it was written by a 5 year old. I hope this doesnt scare you off
>and that you can still consider me a friend and that we could go
>boarding still.........
>
>Michelle
>
>Please write back
he replyed with ;
Michelle
Wow, honestly, I had no idea you felt this way at all. After we broke up I had a very large emptiness inside for a long time. I didnt know what to do, I tried seeing other people and it just wasn't working. I missed you immensely but never ever thought of the chance of getting you back. The thought of us not being together anymore was eating at me more than you can imagine. All I could do was push it down further and try to not think about it, I figured it was all just a lost cause.
I have no idea if it was meant to be or not because I cannot be certain of that at this time. I don't know if either of us can tell of what becomes of our futures. Time will only tell I guess.
I won't, however, ever forget the times we had together. I can still, to this day, consider lots of them the best i've ever had. I always drift off and remember how much fun we all had back in the day and miss it so much.
But anyways, how have you been? It was nice getting to see you again the other nite at esquires. I had a lot of fun talking to you again. You should stop by more often or give me a call, you have my number now. I am definitely down for hanging out and chill'n an' ill'n..haha. So feel free to write me back, or give me a call, it would be really nice to get to see you more often. I even miss just hanging out with you.
love ya always....
Tyson.
a couple months have gone by since this email and we have been chillen quit often. We talk as friends and his girlfriend is around. They see eachother maybe once a week or so. I jus dont know if I should take into consideration the " Time will only tell ". There are many different ways I could analyze his responce. LIke I know at this time him and his girl have been together for a while . But I really dont see them doing too well. Not only that but everyone doesnt want them to be togther and even his best friend came out without me saying anything you two were meant to be. Should I analyze his responce as I have no idea if it was meant to be or not because I cannot be certain of that at this time. I don't know if either of us can tell of what becomes of our futures. Time will only tell I guess. then to make me feel hope because he really cant tell at this time he says I won't, however, ever forget the times we had together. I can still, to this day, consider lots of them the best i've ever had. I always drift off and remember how much fun we all had back in the day and miss it so much. or did he respond with that to smooth over my sadness and to let me know he still thinks of me highly. I have been stressing about this but im kinda dealing with it a lot better. All my friends say I have a good chance by the way we are together but hrmm they are my friends they may jus be sparing my feelings. anyways can any of you males who have been in the same situation as him respond to this? As in been in love repaired the heart and moved on then having an X saying what I said to him?
thanks
