hopelessxnow Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 hey guys, i really need help basically.. me and my ex broke up over 5 months ago or so. For the first 3 months we havnt really been in contact much apart from emails and texts from me pleading to get back and her being really harsh to me back. The rest of the months it was me finally realising the closure and that she needed space. So i did strict LC for about 2 months.. and recently she had been telling me she doesnt want anything to do with me but doesnt hate me and wants me to be happy. Basically, it was easier for her to just blank me. Which is what she had been doing for months while i've been doing LC. I wrote lots of emails explainin im over her and i just wanted to be friends. I didnt get many replies until last week when she explained the whole 'i dont hate you.. i dont think ur a **** or anything i just think its easier for me to just blank you and cut you out of my life'. I asked my friend to tell her to unblock me on msn to talk about it and then she could block me again. She unblocked me and i was quite shocked and grateful. We had a talk about our situation and terms. And had a little debate about what would happen if we didnt or did go on speaking-terms. She then decided, 'okokok we're on speaking terms'. So i thought yay =D .. but she explained how at the moment i'm out of her life and we cant just be friends overnight but she will start to treat me like a normal person. So we've had pretty lame conversations on msn for the past few days and they dont go very far although she has been quite friendly. And i asked her whats the point.. you hardly talk. And she was like i didnt say we wre goin to be friends.. you're out of my life i said i was gonna treat you like a normal person. she asked me wouldnt i find it weird if someone you dont hardly know anymore and spoken to for so long just suddenly asks about ur mothers ex bf?.. and so i asked so when are we gonna be friends, in a year??.. and she was like i dont no. note: she sounds quite blunt and harsh but this isnt exactly how she explained/said things. but ya.. i still REALLY love her and i dont know what is the best approach to getting back with her in the future .. in like a few months ??.. i dont know i really do want to become friends like we were before... before trying to get back with her but where do i start? whats the best thing to do? NC? or LC? Please someone guide me through.. thank you!! sorry if i sounded very dull, boring and factual in explainin the sitatuion.. im just a tad too tired to make it sound expressive lol Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Well, it sure sounds like she is trying to do the right thing for the both of you to heal and move on by going NC and you keep talking her to let you back into her life trying to be "friends" but really wanting more. She's being harsh with you because she wants to make distance between you two and you keep going against her will by essentially forcing your way back into her life... What do you do? Sorry to sound harsh but you really should stop being the clingy ex-boyfriend and let her go...NC all the way... Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 but we've agreed to be on speaking-terms and she isnt being harsh anymore? Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Unfortunately, although it sounds like she's willing to speak with you, it does not sound like she's interested in a reconciliation. She's treating you like a "normal" person (whatever that means), but has expressly said that you are not friends. It sounds like she's trying to keep you at a distance so that you don't get false hope. I think that continuing to speak to her will be emotionally draining, especially as you are hoping to get her back. You'll overanalyze everything and be disappointed if things don't work out the way you had hoped. I know it's difficult, but if your motives continue to be "getting back together", I think it would probably be easiest to sever contact. Of course, that's just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 but we've agreed to be on speaking-terms and she isnt being harsh anymore? I'd definitely walk away from this one. She is clearly not interested in a relationship and won't even call you her friend. She is probably feeling a bit sorry for you at this point and being nice for charitable reasons... It sure sounds like you're being clingy... The best thing you can do is to take charge and make the decision for yourself to walk away with some emotion and dignity left in the tank vs. letting this situation of being a "friend" to her but really wanting more emotionally drain you to the point where you have nothing and end up walking away anyway... Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 yeah, thats true.. its gonna be hard to walk away from the best thing thats ever happened to me.. and she goes to my school.. what do i do??.. i want to just disappear from her life but its gonna be hard hence we see eachother every day. and i dont want to see her everday i want her to be curious.. just so i get some control of the situation.. i dont no.. im really pissed off at her because she has been quite horrible coming to think about it. I want to just leave. Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 You can leave...emotionally. You will probably see her from time to time, but she isn't the same person anymore and neither are you. Keep contact as brief as possible, don't show any emotion, nothing. You're gone... Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 by doing this would i have a chance to get back together in the future? Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 by doing this would i have a chance to get back together in the future? Possible but not probable. Live your life like she's gone forever... Link to comment
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