a question for the girls

[sfboi415]

Based on a guy's conversation and style of speech alone (excluding his looks) how does a women know that the guy she has met in a education, work, or social environment, will be an exciting person to know?

Because I've heard plenty of stories about guys who didn't look handsome according to cultural standards yet they had a following of women who really liked those guys. What isn't usually explain is HOW that happens, from a human communication standpoint.

 

Also I am not a person filled with bountiful amounts of humor yet there is a slight sliver of hope that I can attract women by saying something that is entertaining to them. What that something is besides your basic set of compliments I don't really know.

[Beyondthesea]

I think you are asking why women are attracted to certain men over others.

 

In my own life, I find that I'm attracted to men who have similar interests and a similar personality. Looks aren't very important to me, as long as there is a lot of emotional attraction. Women are more attracted to personality, whereas most men are more interested in looks first.

 

Communication wise? A man who is confident, intelligent and has interesting things to say is on my hot list. A man who is boastful, sleeps around, constantly switches girlfriends/flings, drinks a lot, etc are crossed off, no matter how handsome or talkative they are to me.

[vesper]

The best thing you can do is to elaborate and be descriptive when you have a conversation. Telling stories related to the topic is always a positive. You 'reveal' yourself to women by the content of the story, they get to know you without having to ask specific questions. It is also positive if you can keep a steady conversation pace going.

 

Be yourself above all, there is nothing more attractive than a man who truly is at peace with who he is.

[altosinger314]

As long as he doesn't have a lot of weird tics or an annoying voice. Fairly polite. Funny. Outgoing. If he has a quirk or two it CAN be endearing, just as long as it's not too extreme.

[yeawutever]

Cuz it's their personality that counts much more, that they're there to listen, aren't hypocrites nor show off nor horny. In short words, they're just being themselves, no need to act like something you're not.

[jurupa]

In a nice short simple answer it is called "female radar".

 

Now for nice not so short answer. It has to do with what was said and was brought up which the girl uses to judge the guy [literally] to see if he is exciting enough to spend time to know. Most girls can tell what type of person you are and how smart you are by what you said and how you act, with out even asking a question. Guys do the same thing btw.

 

For example last friday I said "hi" to a female manager from one of the stores in the strip mall that I have been flirting with. I first said "hi how are you" in Spanish and she said she doesn't speak spanish, so I ask her in Dutch/German if she spoke any Dutch/German and said that she didn't. But what I was able to pick up was that she knew that I was speaking Dutch/German. I ask her if she spoke any langauges and she said a little Itlain and English.

 

Just from how that conversation went and what I learn from it she seems to be fairly smart and intellengent, how much I can't say but I know its up there tho and it is worth my while to find out more about her. I know this is from the guy side, but I bet you it is not that much different from the girl side as I am sure she pick up the fact that I spoke two languages (I am not fluent in them tho) and saw more of my personality. Now what she was thinking beisdes that I may be crazy, I have no idea but she isn't exactly blowing me off.

[serve_the_people]

Its important to just be yourself. Be polite, but don't put on a show trying to impress a girl. She should love you for who you are, and not for how you are trying to impress her.

 

What attracts girls...?

** Confidence

** Honesty

** Giving her your full attention

** Smiling

** Wearing nice clothes that are washed and ironed (yes, some girls do notice if your clothes are ironed)

** Maturity

** Ambition and passion

[CarnelianButterfly]

I like men who express themselves. I enjoy guys who will get into heated debates and speak with conviction about topics. I don't like overuse of slang it sounds stupid most of the time, I speak English and its not too hard to speak it properly. I understand if English is a 2nd language that it can have difficulties, but my Japanese friend always askes me to help him with words if he doesn't know the right one (I speak Japanese a little) and I prefer his stumbling and pausing to "Yo thaz wacked". I think it gives you more insight to their character if they're willing to take the time to thoroughly construct a thought and convey it with some degree of intelligence.

[BillyJean714]

What attracts me most about a guy?

 

His heart, His dedication...just everything about him that shows that he's a genuinely good human being. For instance, how does he treat others? Is he a dedicated worker? Does he have compassion for people? Is he genuinely interested in me as a person? When a guy is really sweet, I can't help it, but to like him more- especially when we have a connection and our conversations can go on and on for hours and we can laugh at each other's jokes.

 

This ALL has to be natural. Women can sense it when a guy isn't being himself and does things just because they think will iimpress women.

[MP Meridien]

Honestly, find a place to meet someone where you would normally go. The conversation flows much nicer in say the fiction section of Barnes and Noble if you're an avid fiction reader. Don't try so hard. And please don't do the typical guy thing and only want a woman you can't have... realize that there are plenty of women who aren't beautiful by normal standards but who are kind, caring, funny, and loveable. I've met the most quality men I've dated in small single church groups (like potluck dinners) or when at work, I've used e-mail to help initate conversation. Also, you don't have to be yourself 100% right away (ie don't belch after your meal even if you do all the time) but don't be someone else either. Someone will love you for who you are. Be a tamer version of yourself. Read the newspaper the day of your date. Quote your favorite TV show. Ask her about what makes her laugh. You'd be surprised how much what is meant to be really does happen!

[mags73]

wow. i bet you didn't expect all this!

the only thing they didn't cover that i think you should do - is ask a woman you trust if there are some things that she needs work. my ex needed help with clothes and not saying a word in public situations unless he knew half the people.

i've been looking - and from what i remember of meeting someone i really like, i wasn't looking and didn't really expect things to go where they did.

be approachable, polite and i'm sure everything will work out. -that's what i'm telling myself ; )