Scared, Sad, & Lonely

[blueyes25]

So here I am again in the break-up section. We broke-up last spring and got back together in September. I felt like I was in limbo the whole time we were apart. I was a mess emotionally and physically. I thought when we got back together that I would happier b/c we could work everything out. Turns out, I was wrong. Last night, it ended for good. He "left" again for the same reasons he did last time. However, I am in a different place this time. There will be no waiting around - just a will to survive the pain and try to feel better.

 

I live with him now and it makes it so much worse. I am actively trying to find a place to move and fast! I keep looking around the house and I get overwhelmed and I feel like my heart is being yanked out of my chest. I have no idea where to start and I am scared.

 

I am scared to death - scared of the empty despair and the loneliness. I feel sick and oddly comforted by still being here.

 

I feel so alone it makes me sick. I don't have a lot of friends that are just mine, I don't have a place to live, and I don't even know where to start re-building. I don't want to end up alone - I would like to get me back - the happy one. I have been fighting for this relationship for months and I am tired and incredibly sad. There is no hope for it, but there is hope for me, I guess.

 

Anyone else ever feel scared and hollow? What do I do now that I've faced the fact that it is truly over? I have no hope and I guess that is really a double edged sword. It hurts so bad and I don't want to lose him b/c I have so much respect for him - I still love him. I just don't want to feel this way anymore.

 

Please hlep - I am so scard, lonely, and incredibly sad....

[SwimmerBR]

Hi blueyes,

 

I do feel like that from time to time... in fact, I´ve just been through a break-up myself and I can totally relate to what you´re feeling.

 

I can´t really offer advice on how to deal with it, because I too am learning.

 

What I can say is this -- it will pass, eventually. Time heals everything. Being scared, lonely and sad is awful, I know, but you can´t let it be overwhelming.

 

Find a nice place for you, move out and move on. Don´t look back. Ever.

 

And don´t beat yourself up. You tried. At the end of the day, isn´t that all we can do?

 

Cheer up, I´m sure we´re all here for you...

[Lightingbird]

Well start looking for another place immediately. Keep your distance from him as much as possible. Prepare for a tough month avoiding him and indirectly dealing with him until you find your own place. A month is a reasonable amount of time to find another place unless you can move in with friends or family. It's going to be tough but keep your head up.

 

You will get through this situation. Life will go on and you will do better.

Good luck to you.

[blueyes25]

I have started looking for a place already - it's not as easy as I had hoped - but it is only day 3. It sucks being here. Yesterday, I stayed out all day and hung out with friends and slept at my girlfriends house. He didn't go home either. The house sucks. I hate it here b/c it is so depressing. Everything feels bittersweet. My mindset is that I am committed to getting myself better - I have accepted that it is over, but it still hurts. I feel numb right now. I know I am going to be ok,but I miss him - it hurts. I hate feeling lonely and I am - but I know it will pass. I feel scared.