Change of mood

[curlygirl47]

I think I posted earlier this morning and said I was going to have a better day. Well, I've had some good moments, but at this point I'm actually feeling nauseous with sadness and regret. Sadness for the obvious reason and regret because I may have lost any chance of getting back with my ex because of my pathetic behavior a few weeks ago. Even as I write that, though, it reminds me that I am not on the "getting back together" forum anymore, and that should not be my goal. I am trying to heal and take care of myself. So, let me see what positive thoughts I can come up with for today. I need a distraction because I have a nearly overwhelming urge to call my ex right now.

 

I can practice unconditional love, which means not calling somebody who wants time away from me.

 

I can pray and keep reminding myself to turn my life and my problems over to God.

[Dako]

Go buy something wicked good to eat.

Go for a walk.

Shop for something you've been denying yourself.

Take a hot bath with a bowl of ice cream.

Complain to your friends.

New shoes.

[Pikey1972]

Don't contact him, curlygirl!! You've been doing really well so far (trust me, you have!), so please don't suffer a setback by contacting him.

 

Like Dako said, treat yourself to new shoes or ice cream, or post on here again if you need to.

 

Take care, I know you can do this!

[Blue In Texas]

Your "pathetic" behavior did not drive him away. We always have a tendency to blame ourselves and second guess. Getting dumped is few people's finest hour, and most of us (and I am certainly speaking for myself) say, write, act, beg in ways we wish we hadn't. Short of doing something very bad, there are no what-ifs that make a difference to the outcome.

 

Do you keep a journal? I found that since I was going to think about her anyway, this gave me something to do while I was thinking about her. You can also write letters, vent as fiercely as you want, call him everyname in the book, just don't send them. I also wrote down every memory that caused me pain when I thought about it -- a great evening, a special moment. I figured those memories were lying out there waiting to spring on me anyhow, and that this was a way to defang them. Sounds pretty silly and probably doesn't work for everyone, but I found that it occupied a ton of time during those horrible first couple of weeks.

[xblondyx]

Its really hard when you get urges to contact.

What i do is listen to music, phone friends or come on here!

 

I also agree, go out and treat yourself! i'm doing exactly the same tomorrow!

[Mrocza]

Dako- New shoes. You know us so well

 

I agree. Distract yourself. You're only going to wallow in self pity if you let yourself.

 

Go rent a bunch of movies,

go out to the movies,

go get tons of junk food,

bubble bath,

pamper yourself or if you have the money, get a facial or manicure

read a good book

 

Take the day off to just get back on track with yourself. You need to just retreat and recharge.

 

Write yourself a little letter. Get all your feelings and emotions out. The good the bad, whatever. Then go outside and burn it. Let it all go. You'll feel better.

[Dako]

LOL!

I was standing in a store and my feet hurt. Turned out all my shoes were one size too small, so I chucked them all and bought 14s. I felt better instantly!

[Mrocza]

I thought I had big feet LOL

 

I'm a size 9..but I wear 10 for comfort. It is very hard to find CUTE size 9-10 shoes.

[Dako]

I usually have a choice between giant white ghetto status sneakers or something with a Hello Kitty theme. Not much selection.

[Mrocza]

Hello Kitty in size 14? If they're velcro straps, I'd be ALL over it...

[Diggitydave]

Break out of the norm, do something totally ridiculous that you would never do. Not illegal or reckless or indulgent, but just something weird. Take other routes, meet new people you would never talk to on purpose, and when you feel the nausea comin, laugh it off and go "oh man i'm gonna puke" then do a fake puke motion and laugh on purpose.

 

I know i'm weird but sometimes you have to make humor out of some of the worst situations just to get over a moment.

 

 

Dave

[Caterina]

Don't think about "What-ifs". Live every day for what it is. Also, keep a list of the things that used to make you really mad about him right next to your bed. This seems to help me a lot. Then, persuasively convince yourself that it wasn't worth it. Soon, you'll be enjoying life again. Don't consume yourself with guilt. If it didn't work, don't blame yourself.

[curlygirl47]

You'll see from my posting "Well, I had a great excuse" what happened about thirty minutes ago. I am not unscathed, but I didn't get emotional on the phone and I made a nice gesture, and then I got right to the point and didn't talk about the relationship at all. So, maybe I get a C grade on the NC instead of an F. I hope.