He says he needs to find himself.

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

Well my boyfriend says he needs time to find himself. He said that he doesnt want our relationship to get old because he says he knows that we were ment to be and that we will get married. But he says that he wants to maybe date around but without any physical relationship just like friends dating.. * * * is what im thinking and thinking (yeah finding himself in another girls bed) my bf has not been known as a cheater but if he dated another girl i would be heart broken. right now im trying to talk him out of this stage or w/e its called. Right now we havent told anyone that we are broke up. I dont know what the deal with this is I really dont know. I mean why is he doing this. I know he loves me more then anything and we act like where not broke up but he says we are. we still kiss and spend time together, have sex and ect. So what are yalls feelings on this.

[Boricua7]

Stop being intimate with him. I just went through the same thing and it did not turn out pretty. You are only hurting yourself if you continue acting like nothing is wrong. He needs to find himself. He made it clear that he loves you. Trust him. That's all you can do. Trust that your love is strong enough to overcome this "episode". Stop giving him the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities. If you get back together than great but if you end up breaking off for good it will only hurt more because you continued being intimate. PLEASE TRUST ME...I know...It's been a month and I'm still crying myself to sleep.

 

The fact that he wants to date around sounds rather odd. What does that have to do with finding yourself? I can understand wanting to be single so that you have less responsibilities but what he's saying doesnt make sense.

[Stinkweed]

People are so full of it. Why can't they be honest? It's either he wants you or not. There's no grey in that. I'm sorry, but unless he himself tells you he changed his mind and realized what a dumb thing that is, I mean find himself? Plz... Keep away from him and move on. It's not very fair of his to act that way while having "the right" to just date around just cause he wants to "take a break" and "find himself". Maybe the reason I'm not interested in anyone is just fate protecting me against this kind of situation... I wish you the best of luck, and hope you make the smartest decision.

[ultraviolet]

Until he's ready to give you the commitment and emotional security you need, don't indulge him with sex or affection. Every time you do so, you're essentially telling him it's ok to have fun with you and date other girls too. Is this what you want?

[CarnelianButterfly]

If he thinks you should be together then he would continue to be with you. If he chooses to go off with other girls then he's not honoring you. If you did marry him, what happens in 10 years? "We're getting a little stale, honey, I need to go find myself..." In other words, "I want to go sleep around, but as long as I got you as a back up plan its all good". He's being selfish. Draw the line, tell him to make up his mind, its you or them, not both.

[Hunny1607307342]

Don't let him have his cake and eat it. Tell him you can't just be messed around and that once a relationship is broken, its broken, so he can't leave and come back, and if he really loved you he wouldn't feel the urge to date other people. Tell him straight that that's what its like. Don't give in to him having you being strung along.

[Baby_Blue_Eyes]

Yeah i know its all BS .. but see what makes me feel bad about it is he brings my past relationships up things that happened in like freakin 6th grade.. and i do admitt i did break up with him and date someone and then run back but that was when we were in middleschool he still holds that against me & i dont know what to do about this i really do love him and i dont want to let him go. idk maybe I just need to be smacked and told to wake the f up.

[miticalzz]

oh boy, so you are only 17. my guess is that your boyfriend isn't yet mature enough to handle a real relationship.