confusedheart Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 This past weekend my girlfriend of 2.5 years, the love of my life, told me that she wants to find happiness and peace within herself. She told me she loves me so much and wants to marry me and have my children, yet she needs to be happy with herself. We are 3 years apart she is 20 years old and very busy with school/work/finances and managing her life. She has a ton of stress, but I'm so confused on whether she'll come back, or if she'll decide she wants me out of her life. I'm so crushed right now, the last couple days have been so hard. We left with hugs and kisses and I told her she can call me anytime. I've been NC and I find myself checking the phone constantly to see if she's called. Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 confusedheart, Welcome to ENA and I'm sorry it took something this painful to come here but hopefully we can try to help you get through this. Many times we read posts where one person cheated on another or maybe there was abuse going on but the pain seems just as great or greater when there was nothing wrong on the surface. Now with that being said, I think she is not being totally honest with you. I understand and certainly respect someone wanting to be happy with themselves and find solace in that but under the circumstances she gave you along with the "I love you, want to be your wife and have your children " speech. Is it possible that she is either afraid or wants to explore the world and decide if she wants to fully commit. What are your thoughts on what she is really saying to you? RC Link to comment
Lightingbird Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Often in life there is challenges that involve difficult decisions, making those decisions determine your future mindset. Respect your girlfriends decision to learn and spend time with herself. In the meantime, get to know yourself. Learn about what makes you happy, stable, and secure. Work on a new hobby. Don't have one? Get one and put some time into it. Spend time with your friends and family. The key to this is to allow her time to get her thoughts together and realize that she misses you. Regardless of what happens, respect her decision. Realistically its very possible that she may not desire to get back with you and you may never know why. Understand this possibility and don't let it consume you. The road that you are about to travel down is going to be a tough one. But I''m sure you can make it. Stay positive, respect her wishes, and accept her decision no matter what it is. I'm sure you will get past this either way. Good luck to you. Link to comment
confusedheart Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 confusedheart, Is it possible that she is either afraid or wants to explore the world and decide if she wants to fully commit. What are your thoughts on what she is really saying to you? RC our relationship is like anything either of us have experienced before, we both were not looking to or expecting a relationship and immediately we clicked and are inseperable. at the same time though, we are both young... we met when she was 18 and i was 21 both in college, i had already experienced a lot in my first 3 years and i know personally i grew a lot during that time. i believe in my heart she is honest, but its just so difficult to comprehend that we may not be together. Link to comment
confusedheart Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 ironically, within minutes of making this topic, she emailed me a "thinking of you" e-card that said she is thinking about me all the time and she hopes i am thinking of her and that she loves me. i didn't reply at first, and sought advice from my sister. my sister reminded me that when you access an e-card that a read receipt is sent... when i returned to my office i had an instant message from her asking for me to reply to the email and then a text message came through asking. i replied to both... i'm giving her space, but don't want to push her away... i also don't want to get hurt myself... this is awful, i've never exprienced such heartache before, how have you all done it? Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 It gets easier every time. *sigh* Link to comment
confusedheart Posted February 28, 2006 Author Share Posted February 28, 2006 It gets easier every time. *sigh* i hope there is never a next time. Link to comment
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