Question for everyone doing NC?

[Silentlyfor]

Hey all of you! Sorry I haven't been on lately...it looks to me as if all of us are moving on =D! Just keep on doing NC and u'll be just fine. And remember...

 

there's ALWAYS a difference between what we want and what we need =D

 

always.

Allie.

 

Brilliantly put Allie. I tip my hat to you.

 

I'm still NC 9 despite my best friend telling me about my ex's new guy. If you've read any of my previous posts today, you'll see that I feel very sad to the point where I felt suicidal. I want this grief to end.

[jeffreyt]

Today is another day of NC trying to stay strong almost had a week moment today(why is it we have these week moments every so often?) my ex has some business cards from a show she worked for me and I need them back she said she would drop them off but have yet to do so. She works right next door to my office so I almost stopped over there on my way back from a meeting(that would have been a mistake?) How should I approach this?

 

Allie, I like that quote!!

[Allie.]

Brilliantly put Allie. I tip my hat to you.

 

I'm still NC 9 despite my best friend telling me about my ex's new guy. If you've read any of my previous posts today, you'll see that I feel very sad to the point where I felt suicidal. I want this grief to end.

 

oh my. yes. of course, I completely understand your pain. I mean, you just realized that your ex is with another guy. I'll give you an analogy...which will hopefully help you understand your grief a bit.

 

..If you broke your arm, would you try to arm-wrestle. You'll probably say, "Of course not!"...well, that sort of already happened to your heart. [haha don't worry, ur one of the few ppl whose posts i keep up with =D] I KNOW that your heart was broken before you found out that your ex had a new boyfriend and now its hurt more...without your consent. Cuz YOU didn't break NC. Your best-friend came and told you...WHY would he/she do that? Have you talked to them about how sensitive you are about this topic? Maybe you should do what I did...I talked to all my close friends and told them to not ever bring that topic up unless they talk to them and my ex says that he has feelings for me [now that'll never happen] so they never bring him up. even if they talk to him..etc.

 

Oh dear. I'm so sorry about your pain. It must hurt so much because you were moving along just fine and all of a sudden, a situation uncalled for just goes "BAM!" in your face. But know that this isn't your fault. You have to think about it this way.

 

"If she's over you, you're already over her.

If its all been done, what is left to do?

How can you hang up if the line is dead?

If she wants to walk out, she better step ahead.

if she's moving on, you're already gone

if the light is off, then it isn't on.

 

^^ those are altered lyrics to fit your situation from a song that i despise but i love the lyrics. hahaha.

 

But either way...its going to be hard these next few days but I will try my best to help you out with this. Just keep up the posting!

 

and do you remember a few weeks ago, you were posting about how you felt SO AWFUL...and then your posts started becoming optimistic like, "Oh i'm gonna get over this...i have all the control..." [look at your posts in this thread] well, it DID get better. the PAIN did sort of get dull...not gone but dull. With time, the whole process will repeat again. You're going to be fine redmage.

 

Allie.

[Allie.]

Today is another day of NC trying to stay strong almost had a week moment today(why is it we have these week moments every so often?) my ex has some business cards from a show she worked for me and I need them back she said she would drop them off but have yet to do so. She works right next door to my office so I almost stopped over there on my way back from a meeting(that would have been a mistake?) How should I approach this?

 

Allie, I like that quote!!

 

Hey jeff! nice to have you back on this thread! [= either way...there is something awfully bad about today. I'm feeling really weak too. But we have to stay STRONG! we want to give in but we need to stay strong. Hmm? I think its cuz yesterday was July 4th and I was at the fireworks and about 30491483948 people in front of me were making out under the stars and I guess I really wanted to share it with someone...hmm? I don't know. I feel super weak too...and I've been doing NC for almost 2 months now and I haven't thought about my ex for a long time cuz I've been generally happy.

 

Either way, your situation seems very sticky. It seems unavoidable to me. I mean, you need those business cards back but you could make it a tad bit better for you and your heart. Maybe, get her to mail them to you or just drive by and slip 'em in the mail...or maybe get one of your business partners to go and get them...there are several ways you can probably avoid a "direct" confrontation [sp?] with her because in every case, direct contact will be worse than indirect because it will 100x more.

 

I hope I helped a little.

Just keep posting and keep expressing!

 

and a bit of advice for today...since its hard for both of us...lets remember that pain is our hearts' way of saying: "I'm healing."

 

Allie.

[Silentlyfor]

NC day 10. Ok today. Counsellor helped a lot.

[Allie.]

good for you redmage =D we are all very proud of you and are here for you!

[didyoumissme]

Hey Everyone! I'm going on 20 days of NC today! It feels like forever. I wonder if he ever thought of me at all recently and/ or if he has any intentions of contacting me.. I have to admit tho, I feeling strong urges to contact him like sending him an email or something. But, I won't. I will try to be strong, hang in there...

[Silentlyfor]

NC 11 for and Congrats didyoumissme! You seem to be doing very well. Keep it up and keep strong.

[Allie.]

ahh. i feel quite lonely today. rawr. ]=

[didyoumissme]

NC 11 for and Congrats didyoumissme! You seem to be doing very well. Keep it up and keep strong. Thankyou! You seem to be doing very well also. Hang in there buddy! Together we can do this!!!

[didyoumissme]

I don't feel good, feeling weak again...

[Silentlyfor]

Nc day 0. She contacted me..,... I responded.....

[Allie.]

what did she say red? And more importantly, wat did you say back?

[Allie.]

I don't feel good, feeling weak again...

 

Hang in there love. We're all here for you [= We all have our weak moments but u know...we can all post on here and let the pain go away. It GETS better!

 

Allie.

[didyoumissme]

redmage33 - what did you & her talk about. Details Please..

 

Jeff, redmage, Allie & everyone else too - Thankyou for all your support.

I'm actually on day 0 again since I was so weak & emailed him(which was stupid on my part) Because he didn't or hasn't responded yet and it making me feel worst. I just send him an email basically asking how he was doing since it's been awhile I've heard from him. A part of me wishes I didn't break & contacted him since I was doing so good.. I made it to 20 days. But, I did ended up breaking down.

Now, What to do now? I guess I will just start NC all over again?

Help...

[Silentlyfor]

What happened is she responded to an email that I sent her before all this happened. She said, "I can't love you again, but I want my best friend back."

 

Couldn't resist.

 

I said, "Yes. I do miss my best friend. But how much time are we going to need?"

[Allie.]

I said, "Yes. I do miss my best friend. But how much time are we going to need?"

 

hey wait a minute bud. Why are you giving her the upper hand here? Isn't "how much time are we gonna need" up to you though? She's the one that broke it off. it seems in a normal break-up, the dumpees are usually the ones that need time to heal and recover and its usually up to THEM to go back and become friends with the dumpers. hmm?

[Silentlyfor]

She said Nc was going to be a good idea for a while. I don't know what to do right now.

[blemished]

3 weeks. Last week he sent me an email. I did not respond. His email contained hurtful information (duh). I look forward to the day when it's been longer since we have spoken. I vow to never talk to him again. Our time together was a grave and painful mistake.

[jeffreyt]

didyoumissme, Hey hang in there we all do some stupid things during this time of healing just remember you have alot of support from people on here to help you plus you can email me anytime you need my suppot

[didyoumissme]

She said Nc was going to be a good idea for a while. I don't know what to do right now.

Just stick to NC, I guess exspecially if she said that would be a good idea.

Also too, you have to think.. Are you going to be okay in just being "friends" with her ?

[didyoumissme]

didyoumissme, Hey hang in there we all do some stupid things during this time of healing just remember you have alot of support from people on here to help you plus you can email me anytime you need my suppot Jeffreyt! I'm here for you too...

[Silentlyfor]

Just stick to NC, I guess exspecially if she said that would be a good idea.

Also too, you have to think.. Are you going to be okay in just being "friends" with her ?

 

To be honest... yes.

[didyoumissme]

To be honest... yes.

Wow.. your very strong then. I've always tried being friends with him but it was really to hard for me in the end especially because it was onesided. I was giving & giving, being there like a good friend should be and he just basically took me for granted.

[didyoumissme]

Damn, I'm so upset with myself right now.. I shouldn't of broke no contact the other day by emailing him. I have to start all over again. It wasn't really worth it to email because he never replied back to me which now makes me feel worst.