Question for everyone doing NC?

[didyoumissme]

*bumps thread*for more advice

[jeffreyt]

didyoumissme, I've read all your post and I'm impressed how strong you have stayed even though you broke down I know this has to be very hard for you I'm in my 5 day NC and it's very tough but I feel so much better about myself everyday don't get me wrong I miss her dearly(it doesn't help that she works right next door to my business ughhh) but every morning I wake up I keep saying this to myself and it helps "I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life". It helps so much to read post from other people and talking to them in here

 

Also I tried the friend thing too it's just way to hard we are in no condition to be a friend under these circumstances Iread this from someone on another threat and it's so true we need support and we just can't get form the person who is causing the distress we just can't go into to friend mode, when we haven't accepted the loss of the relationship. We would be locked into a pattern of wanting someone and existing in an emotional hell, while your partner grows and develops. That really doesn't seem fail does it? It doesn't work until both parties have heeled and become their own person again.

[didyoumissme]

Thankyou jeffreyt. Good Luck with NC. Stay strong, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me on here!

[jeffreyt]

didyoumissme, Likewise with you and thanks help I may take you up on your offer if I need it Day 6 of NC today I feel really good wow what a difference a day makes if you get a chance and you haven't already read through some of the thread below do yourself a favor and go through I went through 50 post last night and it really help me and that's what this is all about ME and not her. Good Luck to you and great day. Jeff

[didyoumissme]

Hey Jeff!

 

How are you doing? I hope your having a good day as well today! I just sent you a pm on here! Yes, I love reading SuperDave's threads they really help me too!!

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

all situations are different, but i don't believe two people can be just friends after they broke up, especially if it was a strong relationship and even one, if not both partners is still attached and having feelings. to be just friends, there needs to be a separation period where there's no contact and where the feelings dissipate. because i dont think you're being a bad friend. you still having feelings for him and you're use to staying in contact with him and you want to keep that connection. i was like that with my ex. we broke up on mutual terms but still remained friends, hung out and stuff, and when he got a new girlfriend, his girlfriend didn't like me calling him so much and stuff. and he didn't call me much either. the contact between us suddenly dropped tremedously, almost like a bad break up. but i kept saying "our friendship is one-sided. he's not doing his part as a friend, blah blah blah" but in reality, i wasn't over him. that's what it was.

 

you need to cut off communication with him until you're okay to become just friends with him.

[jchan]

If you still have feelings for them, cut contact. Attachment isn't going to help out at all, especially if they don't have feelings for you.

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

i'm kind of in the same situation right now. can someone help me out?

 

i mean, since the break up (like, on tuesday) i didn't attempt to or was even tempted to contact him. and of course he hasn't contacted me. but all of a sudden i want to call him, to contact him. what should i do? the answer seems obvious, but how come all of a sudden i want to contact him when this whole time i never tried, or wanted to?

[jeffreyt]

didyoumissme, Hey thanks for the message I sent you one back

[didyoumissme]

didyoumissme, Hey thanks for the message I sent you one back just sent you one back too, Thankyou!!

[didyoumissme]

i'm kind of in the same situation right now. can someone help me out?

 

i mean, since the break up (like, on tuesday) i didn't attempt to or was even tempted to contact him. and of course he hasn't contacted me. but all of a sudden i want to call him, to contact him. what should i do? the answer seems obvious, but how come all of a sudden i want to contact him when this whole time i never tried, or wanted to?

Good question.. That's what I want to know.

I hope someone has some advice on this!

[SilverCloud]

stay away from contacting your ex... that is the only answer.

 

Trust me down the lane you will know why i am giving this advice.

 

Didyoumissme? You are doing very good.. I am replying your PM right now.. Sorry for the delay

[saltwatergirl]

i'm kind of in the same situation right now. can someone help me out?

 

i mean, since the break up (like, on tuesday) i didn't attempt to or was even tempted to contact him. and of course he hasn't contacted me. but all of a sudden i want to call him, to contact him. what should i do? the answer seems obvious, but how come all of a sudden i want to contact him when this whole time i never tried, or wanted to?

 

Curiosity, boredom, nostalgia. Dont read too much into your whims.

 

Salt

[didyoumissme]

stay away from contacting your ex... that is the only answer.

 

Trust me down the lane you will know why i am giving this advice.

 

Didyoumissme? You are doing very good.. I am replying your PM right now.. Sorry for the delay I've been trying to log into my g-mail. But, it's down again. I'll reply back as soon as it let's me.

I've missed you, I hope your doing well & had a very Happy Birthday!

I'm trying to hang in there & be good. I haven't said or sent anything him lately not since that b-day card & email on the 17th.

[didyoumissme]

Hey Everybody, I need some advice on something.. I've been reading threads & posts and was wondering if since I'm doing NC does that mean that I shouldn't check myspace or facebook anymore or for right now because he's on my friendslist?

 

The reason why I am asking is because I find myself always checking those sites to see if I'm still on his friendslist. I haven't message him or anything. I just go on there to see if I'm still on his list.

 

I mean, it's not like we are fighting or anything so why would he take me off? He hasn't yet. I don't know if he will or not. Why am I so worry about something that may or probably won't happen.

But, then again.. it probably doesn't really matter since I am doing NC.

So, I guess everyone's reply will be to not log on any sites that I have a connection with him, right? Thanks ~ didyoumissme

[didyoumissme]

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[didyoumissme]

Help , I can't stop thinking about him..I'm starting to miss him again

[didyoumissme]

I'm Going on day # 10 with NC!

How's everyone else doing?!

[jeffreyt]

didyoumissme, Hey girl I'm with you we're both on day 10 yesterday was tough but got through it, plus this morning was kinda weird since the ex works right next door to my office we both got out of our cars the same time and we both looked at each other and I smiled and waved no reason to be a jerk it's just not me. Stay strong and thanks for the help.

[Pikey1972]

You're doing well there, didyoumissmee!

 

I'm on Day 17 - beginning to feel stronger but still missing my ex / occasionally find myself wondering what he's up to. After 4 months of LC, NC feels a little odd, but at least I can selfishly focus on me now ;-)

 

Keep up the good work everyone...

[Silentlyfor]

Back to day one of NC.... Ex emailed and I responded.

 

Christ... it's like withdrawal from heroine. It's really hard to let go sometimes.

[gaiden]

im on day 11 of NC and believe me, it's really pissing my ex off. that's not the reason i'm doing it, but it is a nice bonus. back on day 9, my ex emailed me some very bitter things. i SOOOO wanted to write up a message and slam her back.

 

i opened up word, started to type it, changed it, re-wrote, edited it, re-wrote it again, and moved stuff all around, viola! I was done...

 

before i knew it, it resembled nothing like the original message. i looked over at the clock and FOUR hours had passed. i said to myself, holy cr*p, that was a complete waste of four hours. i closed word, without saving, and turned off the computer.

 

save yourself the grief and draft up your letter, save it for yourself if you must, but dont send it. it almost NEVER has the effect any of us hope for.

[jeffreyt]

gainen, I know the feeling I spent most of my work day yesterday(good thing I'm the boss haha) thinking about sending an email to her and thanks to some people in here decided not to send it.(I was just going to say why I"m doing NC nothing good would have came from that)

[didyoumissme]

Back to day one of NC.... Ex emailed and I responded.

 

Christ... it's like withdrawal from heroine. It's really hard to let go sometimes.

You can say that again. NC is like withdrawaling from heroin How many days in NC did you get before going back to day one? I wanna put your quote in my sign? May I?

Stay strong! Good Luck to you..

[didyoumissme]

gainen, I know the feeling I spent most of my work day yesterday(good thing I'm the boss haha) thinking about sending an email to her and thanks to some people in here decided not to send it.(I was just going to say why I"m doing NC nothing good would have came from that)

I'm so proud of you for not sending that email, it's really not a good idea. It would of only set you back & you would of had to start NC all over again.