general questions???

[sugarmomma]

1) Do you think that one of the people in a relationship has the urge to see other people that it's really because there are problems in the relationship that are making that person unhappy and that if those issue's were resolved that urge to see other people might disappear too. Or do you think the only way to resolve those feeling is for the curious person to actually date other people?

 

2) Do you think after one person loses faith in a relationship that there is any way to re-build that faith?

 

3) Does anyone have any suggestions on ways to start over or ways to heal some of the hurt and resentment that may build up in a relationship?

 

4) Do you think if both people are willing to try counseling that there is at least a little faith left in both people?

 

5) Do you think that if two people are madly in love with each other they should keep trying until the love is gone?

[healinginnyc81]

I don't have that much experience with relationships but I'll answer with what I do know:

1) I believe it's normal to wonder about other people after being in a secure relationship for a while. I have had crushes and thought about pursuing them while being in a good relationship. But I didn't. Instead I focused on the good things in my relationship and talked about anything I felt was lacking and my relationship got better while those crushes faded away. However, I think it is a good time to really talk to each other about the state of the relationship and make sure you're both getting your needs met, because it's possible that you're seeking someone else to meet unfulfilled needs(usually emotional needs) in the relationship.

 

2) It's always possible. But you have to look at the real reasons they lost faith and see if those issues have been addressed, not just with talk but with a plan of action.

 

3) I don't really know, but it would seem like you both need to talk about exactly how you feel until you feel that you have truly forgiven each other.

 

4) If it's a voluntary decision, it definitely sounds like both people are trying to get the relationship back on track.

 

5) I think so, but it seems like you have to be willing to take the risk of heartbreak if the two of you are just not compatible.