Dating a girl who lives at home and has a curfew?

[steve-0]

So I have the potential to start dating a girl who is currently living with her parents still (she is 22 and im 25) and she just told me she has a curfew of 3am and she has overprotective parents

 

Yikes. Having lived on my own (by myself and with roomates) since the age of 20 this is gonna be hard for me. Do you think all the restrictions will hinder the relationship? We havent been out on a date yet but should I bother persuing this?

[Dreng3333]

A curfew is something you can work around. If you are serious about the possibility of a relationship with this girl, then I would say that the curfew is going to be part of it. Every relationship has a few bumps in it, but that is part of the path.

[candykisses]

3 am???? overprotective?

my curfew is like.......10 pm!! try living my life lol

[xmrth]

A curfew of 3AM really isn't that bad unless you plan to be out with her that late every time you see her. Plus that doesn't mean her parents wouldn't lighten up. She's still living at home and under their rules, but with her having a boyfriend, and being 22, they could definitely become more understanding. You haven't even established anything with her yet, and I think it really is far too soon to tell.

 

Give this a chance.

[miserableme]

Wow, she's 22 and has a curfew. That's crazy. I thought once you turned 18 you became and adult and had adult responsibilities. I would be moving out ASAP.

 

Anyway, that doesn't help you much. If you really like her then go for it. If it really bothers you then I'm sure you'll find someone else.

[mystik]

i wouldn't worry about it. 3 am is not really a big deal. if it was like 10 pm...that might be more difficult. clubs and bars close around 2am anyway don't they? (they do where I live).

[serve_the_people]

I am 22, and my parents have curfew for me for 11pm. If i was allowed out for until 3am...wow, I would be thankful. If you think her parents are overprotective, meet mine....

 

ya, i think its a problem. Your girlfriend needs to set her priorities...you, or her parents. Tell her to choose you. I think you are more important.

 

So I have the potential to start dating a girl who is currently living with her parents still (she is 22 and im 25) and she just told me she has a curfew of 3am and she has overprotective parents

[Ash]

Hey folks, let's look at the realities of living at home when you're more than 20 years old. Is she paying room and board? If not, then I'd say her parents do have some rights is setting down the rules for her living there. She's likely completely capable of living on her own but has elected not to for whatever reason. It she does want to live on her own, I suspect it will cost far more.

 

Another way of looking at it, freedom does cost money.

 

The 3 am curfew sounds more like a "can't sleep over at a friends house" concept rather than a true limitation on the amount of time away. It means they want to know where she is at the end of every night, not control what she does every night. You can pretty much do anything you want by 3am except spend the night somewhere else.

 

If she is going to be out past 3am on a regular basis then I would truly be wondering why she would want to live at a place she's almost never in attendance at.

[Spawn]

If i were you i wouldn't bother much, you haven't even started dating yet.

 

anyways, things can always be worked out, if people are willing to.

 

Good luck...

[Süsser Tod]

Damn, the girl I talked about at:

 

 

 

Lives almost an hour away from my house!!! Sure, I'd like her to live 5 minutes away, but everything has a price

[puccie08]

well yea its going to hender the realtionship but you just have to have a high tolerance because you will get extreamly annoyed but dont take it out on he b/c its not her fault thats not her rule. if youre really into her just abide by her parents rules it will show her that you care

[xmrth]

I bet there's girls/girlfriends out there that have a curfew but don't even know it because they're never out until a certain hour anyway.

[steve-0]

I guess I am concerned because I am a big fan of sharing a bed with your girlfriend at night. I really enjoy the closeness and waking up next to your partner. Im sure if she had a curfew I would have to be on my merry way every night after I kiss her goodbye. That is very high schoolish. at this age I'm looking for a girl with more independance

[Pixiemeat]

Couldn't she negotiate with her parents to spend a couple of nights a week at your place? Maybe one night a week to begin with, see how it goes.

 

I think if you're going to leave her because of this then that's very immature indeed. I understand the wanting to be close to someone and waking up with them, but if you truly cared for her any time you spent with her would be good time, and you'd appreciate it.

[RayKay]

I had a friend whom was 29 and started dating this girl whom was 23 and had a curfew of 10 pm on weeknights, 11 pm on weekends. Absolutely no overnighters. Her family and culture were very different then his, where daughters lived at home until marriage and under their rules.

 

It was tough for him, definitely, but he loved her dearly. He pressed on, won the family over eventually (her father was very strict and against him before they met even as they were of different cultures). And well, they got married last spring. No regrets on either of their parts

 

3 am is not bad really, it does seem like just a way to prevent overnighters with boyfriends. She seems okay with it though, as if she really wasn't she would not be at home anymore I imagine. Just because someone is "over 18" does not mean the rules of the house no longer apply.

 

It is what you make of it. If you really are interested in her, it's something you can work around. Nothing stops you from having "sleepovers" during the daytime on the weekend for example (ie 6 am - 3 am!). You can work around it, and see how it goes, if it's worth it.

[Spawn]

hey steve....don't make it a issue, if you like her stick with the realities of curfew otherwise, you know down the line if you become upset things may become hard, relationship may get effected.

 

My ex also had this curfew thing, she had to get back to her place by 6:30PM , weekdays we could be out till 9:00 PM. I had no problems with it....although we never liked to leave so early, well u have to have patience and lil unjustment thingy. We managed the curfew thing by talkin on phones pretty late nights.....it was fun.

 

"That is very high schoolish. at this age I'm looking for a girl with more independance"

 

that makes things difficult, make sure you don't hurt her because of this.

 

Take it easy pal...

 

Good luck!

[orgasmictofu]

Wow, she's 22 and has a curfew. That's crazy. I thought once you turned 18 you became and adult and had adult responsibilities. I would be moving out ASAP.

 

Anyway, that doesn't help you much. If you really like her then go for it. If it really bothers you then I'm sure you'll find someone else.

 

I lived at home until I was 19 and had a curfew of 11pm even on weekends. My long term boyfriend at the time didn't care so much, we made it work anyway.

 

I'm now 21 and will likely be moving back home and will be back to curfews. They're more guidelines than anything else.

 

I wouldn't move out JUST because of curfews. I don't know if you, miserableme, live at home or not. Moving out is not easy. It's expensive, it's tiresome, it's a pain in the butt. Often it is worth it, but moving out just because of a curfew? That's very immature IMHO.

 

So to the OP, stick it out. A 3am curfew is not that bad. So you can't wake up next to her every single day. Does she even want this? Maybe she wants to take it slow? Maybe by the time she is ready for you to sleep together in the same bed her parents will be fine with you and with her sleeping with her. To base your decision of being with her or not on her curfew, THAT'S very high schoolish I think.