havent talked for 1month, is it time to call him?

[soulsista29]

so my ex and i broke up 1 month ago, as some of u may have read in a previous post, he broke up with me over the phone and we havent talked since...

i wrote him an email a few days after we broke up to tell him how i felt and he replied...

also about 2 weeks ago he started chatting to me on msn, like we were friends or something, talking about anything, i then told him i was still upset with him...

the thing is he said he wanted to remain friends...at first i said i didnt know if i wanted to be friends bc of how he broke up with me but now i do want still be his friend and i told him that in an email....

so if he was the one that wanted to be friends in the first place how come he hasnt called? i want to call him but he was the one that broke it off with me so shouldnt he call? also i dont want to call, i guess sort of a pride thing...i dont know...and also i think i may let emotions involved if i do...

so is it time we meet up and chat? we used to talk every nite now i havent talked to him at all.........what should i do???

[friscodj]

Well, sometimes people say "let's be friends" and the meaning of "friends" can mean anything from keeping the person in their email address book and shooting them a joke email once every 2 months to being very close and talking everyday. There's such a broad range there. The word "friend" can mean so many different things...

 

So yeah, I'd say talk to him, see what's going on. I will say that usually if one person says they "want to be friends" they either don't want to let go of the other person or they have no feelings to create reasons for distance with the other person...

 

Here, it sounds like he is emotionally "gone", sorry to say...

[sbrew21]

Are you truly over him? If you aren't then i wouldn't be friends with him. Its only going to give you false hope. And you still want to have pride so I think you do still want him. I would not contact him or be "friends" with him until you are 100% over him and aren't going to get upset if he decides that's where its at. He might talk to you about new girls or things he's doing that might still upset you. I would hold off until every ounce of emotional attachment is gone.

[NJRon]

When you stop worrying about why he's not contacting you. When you forget the fact that you haven't spoken in a couple of weeks. When you send an email and don't worry that you never get a response. When they mention that they are happy in a new relationship and you feel happy for them. Then, that's when you are friends.

 

Until then, you are acting friendly, but there are a whole lot of other emotions still involved. If you can't handle the emotions and the fact that he may end up sharing things you don't need to know, then I would probably wait a while longer.

[friscodj]

When you stop worrying about why he's not contacting you. When you forget the fact that you haven't spoken in a couple of weeks. When you send an email and don't worry that you never get a response. When they mention that they are happy in a new relationship and you feel happy for them. Then, that's when you are friends.

 

NJRon, I hear Dr. Phil is looking to you for advice now...

 

I'd also like to add that guys can't read your mind when it comes to this sort of thing either. So speak up when it comes to your feelings in this regard! I've had relationships end, been like, "let's be friends!" Then we start hanging out, things are good, until I mention other women or being in a relationship, and had her walk out and call me bad things...

 

So my point is that it is definitely OK to say that you can't be friends, especially if you aren't truly over him. There's no shame or reason to feel mean about that...I personally would much rather have no contact than be "friends but not really friends" with someone I dated...

[vesper]

never found it to work out where staying friends was a good options...because they are your ex...just generally knowing they are there if you absolutley needed them for something imp..otherwise..no