ilovecats Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Okay,so I have been with my b/f almost three years now and I am not satisfied with our sex life.When we have sex,it feels good and everything but the problem is that he can't last long.We've never even had sex for a full thirty min.I've talked to him about this before and he says that he's sorry but he just can't help it.He said that he tries his best to hold back,but it never works.I know this is going to sound awful,but I've often thought about cheating on him.And that's something that I really don't want to do!!He is the only person that I've had sex with and I want to experiance that with a different guy.I guess to see what it's like with someone new.But I don't want to break up with him.I've brought up maybe having a threesome but he doesn't want to do that.I even asked him about bringing in another girl.But he doesn't even want that.And I don't know any guy that wouldn't want to have a threesome with two women!So I guess what I'm asking is,do you have any advice for me at all?Sorry this was so long by the way. Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Well the first thing is don't be so disappointed with him. That could cause all sorts of problems for him. When there is mental pressure sometimes it either shoots fast or doesnt shoot at all. Maybe try building up to lasting longer? As for the cheating NO GOOD!!! Would you respect yourself if you cheated for sex???? I doubt you can say yes to that. The two of you go to the bookstore and see if there are any sex or tantric sex tips you can enjoy together. Why pressure him with others in the picture he doesnt want anyone else he wants you so work it out. Don't give up and think cheating will solve all of your problems it only creates more. Good Luck, Link to comment
ilovecats Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 Thanks ElektraHere.And yes,I would feel awful if I were to cheat on him.I don't know what I was thinking.Thanks for replying! Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Just keep the faith and don't put so much pressure on him or yourself. I suggest the bookstore for tips and possible prolonging the experience for you. Link to comment
PassionatePices Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Hi ilovecats There are a few different types of gels out their to desensitize his penis.Check out a novelty shop or suggest it to him.If gels's are not your thing try double or triple bagging with condoms. Link to comment
ilovecats Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 PassionatePisces,the condoms won't work.He absolutely refuses to wear condoms.And by the way,I wanted to add that I've even tried to bring in toys.But he got so offended!!He thought I bought them because he wasn't good enough for me.And he made me throw them away!!I might try the gels,but I'm hoping that if I mention using gels to desensitize his penis he won't get mad.Do you know if those gels really work,though? Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Hi ilovecats There are a few different types of gels out their to desensitize his penis.Check out a novelty shop or suggest it to him.If gels's are not your thing try double or triple bagging with condoms. Um...do NOT double or triple bag if you are using them as protection...the friction of them together can cause condoms to break. I do agree with the gels as they can work, but the side effect is they also reduce some of the pleasure/sensation..... I am not sure if you are referring to 30 minutes of penetration or as a total....does this include foreplay? If he was to go an hour now and then with you, would you be willing to do quickies time to time too? Not every experience should be a marathon session! 30 minutes really IS a good time, and above actual "penetration average time", so I am not sure what your expectations ar what you consider "sex" in this respect. I would really advise taking the pressure off him....and extend foreplay, or look into ways to delay climax (look at tantric methods for example). You should be flattered if he is very excited and can't "help it". It's not like he is going off in 30 seconds! Link to comment
ilovecats Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 I'm talking about just penetration.It's just that it feels really good and when he says he is about to come,I feel kind of dissappointed.Because I want to keep doing it a little longer.I don't know,maybe I am just being too selfish.I'm really not trying to be though. Link to comment
PassionatePices Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I tried both methods i mentioned and it worked for me in regards to desensitize THE penis.I would not recomend that technique as a form of BIRTH CONTROL. That's not what i wrote RayKay. Anyways,I would suggest extending the foreplay. Good Luck Link to comment
ilovecats Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 Okay,thanks!Maybe extending the foreplay will actually help. Link to comment
melrich Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Yes I'd agree, 30 minutes of actual penetration is a long time...most studies that attempt to define and "average" time seem to range from 5 to 10 minutes. Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 I tried both methods i mentioned and it worked for me in regards to desensitize THE penis.I would not recomend that technique as a form of BIRTH CONTROL. That's not what i wrote RayKay. Anyways,I would suggest extending the foreplay. Good Luck I did not say that was what you wrote anywhere in there or indicate that you WERE recommending it as birth control, but you did not NOT recommend it as birth control and so I was just adding it for the orginal poster whom you aimed it at....since she did not mention beforehand what they personally use, it would be rather dangerous to start double-bagging it without realizing the possible risks of that. Hence this: Um...do NOT double or triple bag if you are using them as protection...the friction of them together can cause condoms to break. Link to comment
bonita30 Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 hey, just a comment about this matter, I am having a similar issue but I have tried the cream and it helps him but I loose sensationt too. As far as lasting that long LUCKY YOU Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Is it the length of time that matters, or how good it feels during that time? And if you want to prolong it, you don't have to be going at it for 30 minutes straight. Switch it up. When he feels like he is going to let go, have him stop. Switch to some other activity. Change positions. Give it a minute break. There is time to cool down a little and prolong the experience. Don't break up with him over sex. If everything else in the relationship is good, then there are ways of dealing with this minor issue. He may not want a threesome because he genuinely only wants to be with you. While the idea may be nice in fantasy, its not something he wants to play out in reality. Concentrate on the love in the relationship. Let go and enjoy being with someone you truly care about and love. That right there can make it better. Link to comment
ilovecats Posted February 16, 2006 Author Share Posted February 16, 2006 Okay,thanks everyone for your advice!You guys are awesome. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now