First kiss...then what?

[Elena]

Okay. I'll be perfectly frank about this - both my boyfriend and I are shy people. Yeah, we're "popular" in terms of having a lot of friends, but neither of us have really gotten physical. Anyhow, a couple of days ago, we kissed for the first time. Heh, we were really self-conscious, and we both wanted to kiss, but were afraid to do it for the longest time. Anyhow, the kiss turned into a make-out session before I really realized what I was doing. It was just like coming out of a trance, and yeah, I was happy.

 

Anyhow, first kiss, done. Problem? He's gotten more (is that even possible?) wary of getting closer to me. It's like...I want to make out again, damnit! =P I don't want to come off as over-aggressive or anything, so does anyone have advice?

[Jinx]

You may try expressing to him that you enjoyed it and were content if not more about everything. He may just been feeling unsure of himself, it may be other factors coming into play which he feels embarrassed or insecure over and need to reassure him about these ideas or listen and suggest.

 

It may be well worth bringing everything up in a positive no pressure fashion and let him give his input and your own too. The reservations are hard to guess here, but communication is essential if he is acting unsure about all of it.

[Elena]

Ahh yes, always communication.

 

Any pointers as to how to approach the discussion? Both our shyness(es? Is that the plural? Ehh, sounds like some disease) towards each other are definetly going to be problematic in any conversation of that sort.

[ShySoul]

He's shy about this and thus is scared to go further. Once he started kissing, he loosened up and let go. Kissing has a way of doing that to people. But once the kissing was done, all those fears came rushing back to him. Now he actually has done something, and has invested more of his heart and feelings into it. He's worried that things will go wrong and that he'll just end up hurt. So he figures its better to cut his losses now before things go to far, which is likely to happen if he opens up to you again,

 

As jinx said, talk to him about it in a no pressure way. Let him know you like him and loved the kissing. Let him know you want more and to see where things go between you. But also let him know that you don't want to pressure him or go to fast. You understand how he feels and are nervous yourself. Talk and see what happens. Communication is always important in a relationship.

[Jinx]

Well, it depends on what approach you'd prefer. Depending on what you two discuss in regular day to day conversation you could possibly wire the kissing idea in there, make a link to someone you know or something that happened or if he brings up a topic which can somehow be linked to kissing.

 

It seems like if you two happened to be sitting contently and even though it may be random, when there needs to be a topic, you can bring up it up along the lines of "You remember x-day when we were at x place? I enjoyed that." It may be a tad blunt for your tastes, but it would allow the point to be conveyed and leave it open hopefully for him to add his two cents and for conversation flow.

 

I suppose the main idea is just to get in somewhere in the conversation that you thought he kissed well, everything went well in your mind, liked it, had no complaints what so ever.

 

Only problem may be is that in this conversation it'll need to be just talking. Even though you want to make out again, it may be too brazen at this point to bluntly suggest or move in, without scaring him if he is feeling the least bit insecure. It seems the approach needs to be blunt about liking but only subtle in a repeat.

 

Of course that is my individual opinion on an approach for the situation.

[iLoVeCoNnie]

lol sorry had to say Elenas my favorite name and yulia! lol