how long have you been healing and how are you?

[Jjasonn28]

3 and 1/2 year relationship... healing (if you can call it that) for just over a month now..

 

I haven't gotten to the point of NC... however I do not initiate contact. Relationship ended on good terms, i suppose.. no resentment, anger.. Just the pain of lost love. So in a way, not having reason to be angry, just leaves me more confused and hurt. I am trying to do things for myself, (Playing hockey, taking some time off work) and it is helping a little. But I expect the pain isn't going away any time soon.

 

Its funny, in a way we are kind of helping eachother through this tough time. Its hard on both of us. Somewhat of a tragedy if you ask me. The love we have for eachother makes it hard to move on.

 

Sometimes I just dont get it.

 

It gets better right?

[Nathalie1970]

Sometimes I just dont get it.

 

It gets better right?

 

Nobody is suppose to get it, and from I can gather yes, it does get better. Supposedly time heals all wounds. I am trying to look at everything as a learning experience, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger (yes, I am full of cliches today)

 

On a brighter note, I grew up a K/W girl, in fact bringing the kids home next week.

[Juha]

7 + months stayed in contact at first but I then went NC for 2 + months...

 

Now sporadic LC about nothing and she is now onto her second b/f since the breakup..I have been dating but for no other reason than to get out there..

I have no connection with these women...Just want the benefits...

 

I have healed up good but the hole is still there, just don't let anyone see it...Have never had a hard time moving on whether I was the dumper or dumpee... This time is much different...

 

I have realized that my ex is the one who got away and I will always have her inside of me for the rest of my life no matter who I am with...

 

I will always regret losing this special person...

[renaissancewoman101]

My ex and I were together for about two years. He was the first normal relationship I had. I have been healing for about a month or so. The months following the breakup were very hard for me to deal with because I was also going through a lot of other problems, like my best friend moving away. Also, there were so many memories out in Milwaukee that a lot of things reminded me of him. I have only started to heal in the last month or so, after I moved to San Diego, because there is nothing here to remind me of him, and I am starting over again fresh and new. Although my family lives close by in LA and my best friend lives in Irvine.

 

I know this might sound weird to say. In the beginning of Jan, the day after I moved out to San Diego, my car got broken into in Irvine and I got everything stolen out of it (there was a lot of stuff in there that I could not part with when I was packing in Milwaukee to move out here, so I just hauled it all out here). At this point in time, I somewhat can look back at that situation and see it as a blessing in disguise. I know it sounds weird but in a way, having all my stuff stolen, forced me to let go of a lot of things that I dragged out here that were memories of my past life. In a way, that situation has helped me to let go of some things because I dont have the physical things to remind me of the ex (jewelry he gave me) and stuff to remind me of my life back in Milwaukee.

 

I am starting to heal, although I am still having a tough time out here trying to get the impetus to go out and meet people, make friends, and find a job. There are times that I still wish I could talk to the ex because I miss him. He also owes me some money ($1500) which I intend to, at some time, get back. Not sure about that either because if I chase him for the money it is going to bring back a lot of painful memories.

[Jjasonn28]

On a brighter note, I grew up a K/W girl, in fact bringing the kids home next week.

 

VeryCool! I grew up and have lived in K/w for 27 of my 28 years! Small world..

 

Anyhow I understand that we arent supposed to 'get' it.. its just so very frustrating. In my case, we ended on 'good' terms. We still talk, and are trying to be there for eachother, but at the same time being very cautious not to hurt eachother more. In the long run, I KNOW it will take longer to move on.. but we both agree that cutting eachother out of our lives although generally would be the norm in ending a relationship, would be harder on both of us.

 

However, botom line is still that I am heart broken. I don't agree with the decision to move on, but I am respecting it. Doing my best anyhow.

 

Complicated for sure.