Still have thoughts of her.....

[cingularity83]

Its been damn near 9 months.....and I still can't get thoughts of her completely out of my mind...I remember how terrible the first couple of months were and how much progress I've made since then but damn.....I still have those days where I think about her and how she's doing. I've gotten past that stage where I felt like crawling in a corner and hoping all of this will end with the knowledge that love is just another word for revenge....Wednesday May 25th was the day my heart turned cold.....I know I must continue on with my journey even though its still hard to see any end in sight.....the sun always rises and nothing is new under the sun.....a couple of things I've learned is to never spend a lifetime chasing after dreams...and to love no one that don't love you.....

[octopus]

It's been 2 months for me, and I'm sure I'd be in the same situation as you 9 months later IF i didn't do the following:

 

As much as it hurt, I tried to accept a life without him, and tried to survive in it. Don't get me wrong, I know it's SO difficult. I couldn't eat the first month, I still can't sleep. Every time I felt I had to contact him, I told myself "If I don't call him today, I will be stronger tomorrow, and then it'll all be over", and so I tried not to call him.

 

I planned something for every weekend that I could look forward to doing, and I enrolled in a new class. I'm sure you've tried all, but actually when I DO something, i.e. not sit by the computer and actually do something, I think of him less.

 

Also, think about it: Your ex is probably with someone else now. Even if she isn't, it's safest to assume that. She's moved on. So should you.

 

One last thing about your last comment: Don't say "never spend a lifetime chasing dreams". Life is all about chasing dreams. But those dreams should involve you, and noone else because as you see as soon as they go away, the dreams you had fail too. Have dreams for yourself and chase them. I can't think of a better reason to wake up every morning.

 

By the way, it's her loss, and she'll realize it one day. But hopefully you'll have moved on then.

[hockeyboy]

Although we are all different, this has been my experience. I still have thoughts of previous ex's from a while back. However, when I find someone that I'm really into and that I really like...those thoughts of the ex are even less frequent and when you do think of her/him...its different, I guess not as intense.

 

I feel like you can heal and get over somebody on your own and that is important. However, it takes moving on to somebody else to take that last final jump. I'm not saying to go out and find someone right now just for the sake of finding someone...but when it happens, things will be different.

[octopus]

I agree - the reason why I was over my previous ex was because I'd met my current ex right after. Now I don't have anyone, not even remotely, and so feels impossible to forget him. Worse - I have this feeling that I will never meet someone like him again. Which has got to be wrong...

[Lady Bugg]

In my opinion...I think the "memory" of how you remember someone is sometimes much different than how person actually is. I mean if we all remembered our ex'es as that mean, angry, cold indifferent person in the end, wouldn't it be easier to move on? The mind is a very intricate thing. It's amazing the things we manage to cancel out and focus on when we really want to hope things can be different. Reality is a stark and cold thing.

Since I am a very factual person....it is hard for me to romantsize things as they 'could be" although I have my moments of weakness. Maybe we all have our ways of dealing with things. I agree with Octopus.....it is those thoughts of pursuing my dreams..and goals that keep me waking up everyday and moving on. I NEED that.

 

Anyway, I wish everyone happiness and contentment in the upcoming year.

Be good to yourselves

[ginger25]

You are so lucky not to over-romanticise things, it's something I wish I could do, I'm sentimental to the point where I make myself sick, just can't help it.

 

I agree with the comments though, it isn't until you meet someone else who you really fall for that you take the final step forward. I know it is a horrible feeling 7mcs, but you are atleast half way there, and you are moving in the right direction.

[deejay74]

this is exactly what is happening to me. i cannot shake the good memories that my ex and i shared. just take a look at my latest post, she was treating me like s*** last night and i still think of her in a good light. i feel like i am temporarily insane or something. i keep thinking that somewhere in there is the person that i remember. it's very sad but i guess it's the truth and the truth often hurts.