How Many is Too Many??

[cochise5]

I am just curious,

 

I had the post earlier about peoples opinions/views on casual sex? That got me to thinking, how many would you think is too many for past number of sexual partners??

 

I mean I know there are averages out there and the whole woman lie and say less, men lie and say more, but I am just curious, on this board, if you are dating someone and they finally tell you "I have been with x number of people", what number would make you jump back and say "wow, that is a lot of people, I don't think I can deal with that"

 

Say in age range from:

 

teens to twenty

twenty to twenty-five

twenty-five to thirty

thirty-five to forty

 

Also, making the assumption they were never married, maybe in a couple long term relationships, but never married.

 

So, say you are a guy, dating a woman 38 years old, never married, and she finally says "I have been with x number of people", what would be the number that would make you say, wow, that is just too many sexual partners………

 

I am curious also if the numbers are different when talking about a man or a woman??

[hosswhispra]

For me, a guy with more than 3 partners would turn me off.

 

hosswhispra

[lunatic]

For me, a guy with more than 3 partners would turn me off.

 

hosswhispra

 

HOLY COW!

 

I guess it is different when it comes to peoples opinions on this matter. I guess if it was more than twenty-five I think I may have a problem. At the same time I would not hold her past over her head because you have to remember that's the PAST. I think I would ask the person to get an AIDs test and I would oblige myself.

 

I guess my sentiment is that you should get tested and why not do it together? If your that worried about the HIV or something.

[hosswhispra]

Bingo it is very different when it comes to people's opinions on this matter...that was exactly my point. Everyone has and is entitled to a preference.

 

hosswhispra

[Coffee]

It is worse when the person you are with has had many partners and great times, and you have had far less partners with a somewhat lacking sexual history. Too not think of it can be extremely hard!

 

Someone make some Anti JEALOUSY pills

[RayKay]

Tough question. With lots of variables!

 

Say they were 28 and in a couple long term relationships that took up 6 years, and their number was 50 and they had remained a virgin until they were 20......well, I would be very worried either they had cheated, or had managed to sleep with 48 people within a couple years between relationships. That would concern me more then someone whom had that number and was never involved in anything serious...but then the fact they were never with someone seriously might also concern me!

 

Honestly, too many variables for me to answer definitively.

 

For me, it's really relative. What is more important to me is they are safe, when in a relationship they are committed and faithful, respect sex and themselves enough to have some standards and so forth. There are some allowances if they did have some wilder days at some point as it is not reflective of whom they are now.

 

I think for me...hmm, more then 15-20 or something would make me kinda think...hmmmm....but I would not hold it against them or anything if they were safe, clean, had always been faithful and just had some wilder years, or for a while just had some short term relationships that did not work out...it's not totally out there for men in my age range at least to have had several girlfriends and maybe some brief flings. If their number was getting into the 30s, 40s, 50s and above though...that would probably just turn me off to be honest.

 

My bf has a smaller number then I do, and we are both okay with each others (and we don't share details or anything)...what matters more is that we are each other's "last's"

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think anything over 10 would be too much for me. I don't like the idea of casual sex at all. I think it has really trivialized the care and emotion people have for their serious partners. I also have a minor in statistics, so I know how the numbers work and frankly they aren't pretty. The CDC estimates that 19 million new infections occur each year. Thats over 50,000 people being infected each day, the more sex you have the more likely you are to be infected, no matter how careful you are. You sleep with everyone your partner has slept with and all their partners and so on. So your 1 little night of fun could expose you to the diseases of untold numbers of people. HIV, AIDS and STDs are off epidemic levels today, casual sex just continues to propagate that.

[SolZee]

I would have issues if she has had more than 4 partners because I have only had 4 partners. I am 28 and I think this is very individual. I prefer people who are selective in who they date and these relationships are meaningful and lasting.

[lunatic]

I guess one can tell how individuals opinions differ when it comes to a topic like this. I bet that as long as the person does not have too many partners over the amount that the other partner had is starting to look like a precedence.