Molested as a child?

[xtina]

Hello yall! How is everyone doing?

 

For the past few months, I've been understanding more about myself, and how I have become what I have become. I'm traumatised by a past that might have never have happened.

 

I'll get to the point. I'm 17 and I'm traumatised with guys. Can't trust ANY and can't be alone in a room with a man, no matter his age and worst is I even don't feel confortable with my dad. I've nearly been raped, and been followed home after a night-out by 4 guys in 4 different nights. When I was 9 I was molested by a "really good friend" who was 10. And now, this past few weeks I've been wondering if I was molested in any way by my step father, because, even though I was 5, I cried and cried when left alone with him. Those are basically the only memories that I have when living with my mom and step-father. Worst is, he was an alcoholic and argued a lot with my mom (i don't know if he was violent). The thing is, I remmeber these moments very well, and it has to be for a very strong reason why, to still remmeber these days as if it was yesterday.

Now, I'm really really scared to have the memories or to find out that I've been molested, because I know I will start feeling the feelings I felt. And the more I think about it, the more I feel it, and the more I'm scared and the more I'm not confortable with men or guys. Resulting into lack of concentration, anxiety and what ever else.

 

What could I do?

[Relationship Coach]

xtina,

You need to talk to your mom about what has occurred and then about what may have occurred. Counseling is in order here, you need help with the things you do know and with what you do not know. I'm sorry things have been so rough on you but the sooner you look to get answers, the sooner you can focus on healing.

 

RC

[xtina]

I am in fact getting counceling, started recently. Talking to my mom will be a problem though. I do not live with her, and only see her like once a year. She is also an alcoholic, and asking her if her ex-husband mulested me would offend her as she is a very proud person. But I might one day have the courage and ask...

[Relationship Coach]

I'm very glad that you are getting counseling and you are not living with someone who may have molested you. Be completely open in your sessions and hold nothing back. It's almost like going through detox, it will be hard and painful in the beginning but it will get better as you understand you were a victim and you did nothing wrong. Best of Luck and keep us up to date on your progress.

 

RC

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'd just like to say Im really sorry to hear about what you went through and wish you lots of luck with counselling.

[xtina]

Would be quite stupid not to be honest through counceling I'll keep posting ^_^

[BillyJean714]

Xtina,

 

I want you to know that you have to BELIEVE in YOURSELF. That is the ONLY way that you'll ever pull through. It only gets tougher and tougher as you grow up. You really need to have faith in yourself and have faith in the fact that you are mature and that you will make the RIGHT decisions in life.

 

I went through traumatic events as you did too- place that in a situation where it's basically a slum living condition, two parents working over time, 1 latch key child left at home without supervision. You know where I"m getting at right? You know, with some of the things I went through, I coudl've easily resorted to the life of drugs, gangs, prosititution or stripping, but at a VERY young age- I learned to have faith in myself.

 

That's my BEST advice for you: have faith. Hang in there- counseling DOES help. Find ways of finding inner peace and you'll be okay. You're a smart, young, healthy girl with utmost potential. Remember that. About guys- I have the same phobia- but with older men- even until this day- it's hard for me to talk to one (although I hide it pretty well) I get anxious, scared, my palms get sweaty. In the back of my mind, I could imagine how this person could also turn out to be another sick child molestor.

 

It's our "adaptive" mechanism, that unfortunately, worked out for the good and bad. Helpful in ways that we aren't so naiive to underestimte people when it comes to their abilities to hurt others; Harmful in which it causes us intense anxiety. All I can say is to get counseling. Whatever advices you receive, let it slowly develop into your own personal strength that you keep in your mind to strive for a BETTER life.

[xtina]

It's good to hear I'm no freak of nature, that others have passed through the same. I don't mean it in a good way. It is bad because people go though these situation, yet it is good to help others who passed the same thing.

 

I really don't understand why people are so sick and disrespectful though. And note that it is usually men. The hunger of female flesh. blah. It is awful that people tend to generalise only because of one men.

 

I hope things go well with you too ^_^ thank you