Anatomy of a Crush

[DiscipleOfChange]

Hey friends, I just wanted to talk about my current situation and see what you thought.

 

So basically, I'm crushing on this girl right now but I'm trying to keep it controlled as I figure out in my head why I'm attracted to her beyond the physical. I just worry that there might not be another reason.

She is part of a group of friends I hang out with, specifically a group of girls I'm friends with who I talk to about girl advice on occasion. I've confided in two of her firends, essentially to inquire asto her availability status and perhaps set up some potetntial support structures. Anyway, we aren't super close so that isn't the friend issue. In fact, I've transitioned from friend to crush to friend before so I guess the only thing keeping me from asking her out and what not is making sure I like her for enough good reasons. I suppose another question I have is that when people don't neccesarily have a lot in common, how similair do two people have to be for something to work out?

[lillady898]

I think it depends on the people involved whether or not differences get in the way.

 

For instance, someone told a man I knew, "You're a lot different from your ex-wife. Opposites must attract, huh?" His reply was, "Yeah, but only for a while."

 

In other cases, however, I've seen some people with pretty big differences in lifestyles and interests maintain a very healthy relationship, because in their eyes, it kept things new and interesting. It takes acceptance and openess of one's ideals.

 

Regardless of the petty differences, however, I personally believe that some of the similar core values are essential to making a relationship work.

[chigal28]

I think it's great that you're taking the time to get to know her as a person rather than just jumping in based on physical attraction.

 

That said, sharing things in common doesn't guarantee success, and by the same token having different interests doesn't have to be a bad thing. Get to know her as a person, by all means, but in my opinion, it's only by actually dating can you find out how the two of you work together in a relationship....see if your differences are compatible and balance each other out, or if they would cause problems, etc. You could decide to try out one of her interests and find it fascinating, or vice versa...at the very least you could learn from each other. If you're talking very different life values, that's a different story, of course.....but I say at some point, not too long from now, you should give it a shot. Just keep your eyes (and mind) open.

[brownigirl]

definitely give it a shot, get to know her better and see if your differences can mess well together. You'll never know if you don't try.

[Kevin T]

I say this: Opposites attract, but sames stay together.

 

Anyone can get into a relationship (lmao well, not ANYONE), but my point is... that it's the similarities that will keep you together. Having things in common, values, beliefs, goals, likes/dislikes, attitudes will be what keeps you with someone. I'm not saying it won't work, give it a shot. I'm just saying that it really helps when people have mutuality going for them in some areas.

[Chisama]

Also, (advice given from someone else) If ur such good friends going back to being friends may not be as hard, just in case it doesn't work out. But that's cool you want to get to know her. Learn more by hanging out with her.