Was it all a lie - how do i stop being a doormat?

[littlemissanita]

Hi people, Im v sad at the moment. I had been dating a guy and we were getting on really well - i didnt know that he had not long ago split with his ex. Anyway when she finds out we are dating she wants himback. It turns into a - 'I really like you but i might want to get back with her' now a smart girl would have walked away. But I didnt. I dont know why. I suppose I thought we could ahve somthing really good.

 

Anyway after weeks of me feeling like C**p he goes to see her - he is telling me he still loves me - that he trusts me more than her that we could have something really wonderful, and comes back to tell me hes chosen her. im such a fool I should have walked away ages ago and now I feel like I have lost respect. i was only a stop gap for sex - how could he say all those things to me and not mean them. I really wanted to salvage something from this, but it is obvious he doesnt even want to try. I dont know why I want to slavge something. I keep feeling like I should apologise to him and I dont know why. possibly cause I feel like I have acted like an idiot and a doormat. But I still really miss him. How could I let myself be treated this way. How can people be so cruel. Was it all a lie ?

[crookster_man]

Unfortunately you were the rebound girl. The good time girl to make the guy feel better. His ego was bruised for whatever reason, the girl saw that he was moving on and wanted him back. Being weak willed that he was he went back to her (that's how it sounds).

 

You know him better then I, is he a player? if he is, then chances are everything he said to you was a lie. If not the he probably meant what he said to you at the time. But when he was with her he would slip back into the old routine. He had to choose what to do, unfortunately for you he chose to go back with his ex.

 

It probably wasn't all a lie, but his heart was never really yours in the first place. He was still pining over his EX. You were his diversion; chances are you guys wouldn't have lasted anyways, rebounds rarely last. So take what you can from this experience. Gather what insights there might be and move on. I'm sure you learned one thing. You will never be anyone's rebound again. Hopefully you've learned the flip side of the lesson as well, don't ever make someone else your rebound. Hurting people is never good. These things have a habit of revisiting themselves upon us.

[Genesis]

Honey you are the rebound girl. You should move on and find someone who is ready to be with youand only you! Your are acting like a doormat right now. Do not let this guy push you around, youare showing him that I have so little respect for myslef that I will accept and put of with any thing.

 

Leave him alone he still has not gotten over his ex yet when he does then maybe you can date him, but for right now stay away. You are only making yourself look like a fool. You asked why did he say all of those things , did he love me? No, he did not love you. It takes time for people to fall in love. It does not sound like you have been dating very long, I would say true love developes between six months to a year, this is how long it may take to truly get to know someone.

 

He was just using you for sex. If he really loved you he would cut ties with his ex and only be with you. He is on a rebound get a clue and see that you can do sooo much better, than this guy who does not know what he wants. Good luck and move on before he thinks that it is ok to just use you. Some men will take what ever you give them, allyou are doing is making his ego larger than life by having two women fight after him.

[digitaldiva]

I began reading the replies before reading the original message. I thought I was reading one of my own posts!

[raggamuffin]

Darling dont try to salvage anything out of this relationship. As the others say he would just using you as a rebound girl...deliberatly or not it still hurt you. Move on and find someone wonderful that will like you for you and wont be using you just to get over an ex. He doesnt deserve anyting from you. Smile.