I’m really confused and I need some help plez :)

[miss_girly]

I'm really confused and I need some help plez im a 22 year old women, and I'm unsure of my sexuality… I have always been with boys, but since about 13 I have had feelings for girls..at the moment I'm in a relationship with a guy, which I have been in for over 3 years..the only thing is since I've been with him I've been cheating on him with girls..i justify this to my self by saying "I'm just tryna find out if I'm bi, gay or straight" I've been with 5 girls over our relationship ..And still I am not sure. I went out with a girl clubbing not long ago and she asked if I would be her girlfriend and it completely freaked me out..Some days I think I really want to be in a relationship with a girl and other times I think "no I'm straight" and wanna be with guys, and I think that I only like girls because I think they look beautiful…Maybe I'm just shallow?? Has anyone been through something similar? I just don't know whether to stay with this guy and never be with a girl again or whether I should break up with him and try being with a girl in a relationship. Its also hard for me because I'm a model and everyone expects that I love guys and just laugh if I ever say I'm interested in girls… sorry about the long message. But this is the first time I've gotten this off my cheast..thanks for reading: ) and thanks for any help in advance : )

[goddess23]

you know i think in the depth of almost every girl/woman lies the question of her sexuality. lets face it: girls are like always hott and clean and we can often connect with them as a friend. the most common fantasy for women is to be with another woman. now im not saying you are straight or you are gay or bi, im just saying that there are alott of people that go through what you're going through. i havnt done anything with a girl but i often feel as if i wanna see what its like. now the fact that you're cheating on your bf is wrong. and if you are this confused about your sexuality then you should tell him that at this point you need some time to figure some things out and that you need to break up. (i dont believe in breaks lol but thats another thread). but yeah this is no justification, cheating is cheating period. after being with five girls it seems that you are bi (in my PERSONAL OPINION) however, what do i know!! im just saying that im not sure how much "experimentation" you need before you can make a conclusion. after being with say two girls, and still feeling the need to be with them again says SOMETHING. i think you should take some time off and find out.

[miss_girly]

thats lots that helped

[Mattie]

I know it must be really tough, but I think you should discuss it with your boyfriend. Having been together for three years, I know it won't be easy, but at the same time, it isn't fair for you to keep experimenting behind his back. Imagine if he was to find out... I'm sure he'd want to know.

[miss_girly]

im way to scared to tell him..he would freak out..and i dont want to hurt him...i know im hurting him by doing this, but im tryna find out who i am.I dont plan to be with girls anymore while i am with him. my conscience has caught up with me now..so much that i cant sleep at night. i never thought it would be this hard to decide which sex to be with.my thoughts are consuming my life..has it been this hard for anyone?

[ilovecats]

I really think you should tell your boyfriend about all of this.It is so unfair for you to be doing this to him.I'm not saying that you are an awful person or anything like that;I just think that you should be honest.I mean,you two have been going out with eachother for 3 years now!Now after reading your post,I personally think that you are bi.And I think that you should break up with your boyfriend to "find yourself."Just remember to be honest with yourself most of all.

[Tigris]

I can understand what you're going through because I've had a similar experience. I've been in denial for 30 years!

 

In 1999 I warned my 2nd husband I had a problem because I'd fallen in love with a woman. He couldn't get me for adultery because I hadn't done anything except that. We both thought the problem had gone away but 3 years later it happened again! Since then it's happened another twice!

 

I even tried going to a Psycho Sexual Counsellor to find out who I was and it helped, however, she was trying to put my marriage back together and I'd already realised it was too late for that because I didn't love my husband anymore and I'd fallen in love with a wonderful woman on here!

 

I told my husband the truth and he was devastated! It wasn't fair to either of us to remain married for the rest of our lives. We'd only end up resenting one another! We're now in the final stages of our divorce. Today would be our 14th Wedding Anniversary!

 

My advice to you is don't let yourself struggle on not knowing who you are for as long as I did and tell your boyfriend straight away. It's not fair to him to be treated this way. If you loved him deeply you wouldn't have cheated on him the first time!

 

Good luck and take care. PM me anytime. I'm also on MSN just ask for my address.