Borderline lover

[TIGRONETTE]

I wish I'd met this guy six months down the line, then stuff would have been clear

 

as it is, I'm less than a year away from a traumatic break up and really didn't expect to find someone I really liked that quickly (especially seen as I'm pretty choosy). As said, six months down the line, I'd have the strength to fight my inner demons and trust him, or else give him a big kick in the backside and get the hell out

 

as it is, I'm stuck. when we're together, things are incredible. I swear I've never been in something like this before. And no, this isn't the 'non bipolar rollercoaster ride' that I've read about on various sites.

 

when we're not together, I can trust him to spin one on me every few days. The latest is saying 'I don't want to be hemmed in, I'll call you tomorrow' when I asked if he wanted to see me tomorrow. There's been worse than this though. Thing is, a few days after an outburst, I can usually expect 50 text messages or something along the lines of 'I spent all night crying and thinking about you'.

 

How do I deal with this (or not as the case may be) ?

[frenchie]

Whats going to be different in six months? certainly not likely to be this guys behaviour!!

He is giving you mixed messages and picking you up and then putting you down like some new toy, is this what you want from a relationship? are the good times you have together enought to warrant the way his behaviour makes you feel when hes not around?

Would you have friends in your life who behaved in a similar way?

Personally I would go with the big kick in the backside and get the hell out!!

Good Luck

[lgirl]

think you know the answer to this deep down: you're not ready and his dumb- * * * * *, immature habit of 'spinning' stuff on ya is only making you feel more vulnerable. the bottom line is for you to trust someone they're behaviour needs to be consistent. he is sending you mixed messgs and is inconsistent - alternating silence and off-hand comments with OTT behaviour like 'crying all night'. sounds like controlling behaviour and like he wants it all on HIS terms. DROP HIM, he's bad news. he's going to mess you up even more by the sounds of things.

 

when we're not together, I can trust him to spin one on me every few days. The latest is saying 'I don't want to be hemmed in, I'll call you tomorrow' when I asked if he wanted to see me tomorrow. There's been worse than this though.

okay, DO NOT ask him ever again when you're next seeing him. leave him to come to you. i would be crushed if i heard this from a new guy (like you, i'm less than a year away from getting over the damage my ex caused; can't even imagine getting with someone) you know what? he doesn't want to be hemmed in? i'd tell him fine. laters to that one!! if he's insensitive enough to say that to you in the first place, then you're better off without him.

 

be strong. protect yourself. you've been thru enough grief already and you can do better than him. and, hey, it's not as if you're in a rush, right?