frenchie

Like you say its an experiment so be bold and make the first move and send out some messages, you might be pleasantly surprised. All people who on line date have the same anxieities but somewhere along the line someone makes the first move then, well why dont you be bold and find out! Good Luck

These are not "normal" things for a guy to do, he is trying to undermine you and in doing so not have to take responsibility for his actions. Youve just been unlucky with the guys you have met. There is a way to find closure you ditch him and run for your life!! there is NO excuse for child porn and like others have said would you really feel comfortable having a future with him when you know about this? Spend some time working on your self esteem sounds like its taken a bit of a battering lately. Focus on you, people can only undermine you if you let them. Be strong and good luck

This man appears to be emotionally blackmailing you, has he ever expressed any thanks or gratitude for the fact that you have been puttting a roof over his head? does he compensate for the fact by taking responsibility for the housework, cooking? what exactly does he do for you? Youve made a stand by refusing to pay for him to go to Florida and from the sounds of it his response was to throw his toys out of the pram!! Everything in your post is about him and his inability to take responsibility for anything in his life, if things are so bad or he is so petty that he can only be bothered to communicate with you by e mail then what is the point in living together? lets be honest it sounds like he has made little or no attempt to find work be it temporary/seasonal or permanent. You cannot be responsible for his mental health and wellbeing, it sounds as if this guy wants you to be part of some of his life not all of it. Hes choosing not to go to counselling, maybe hes scared of what they may have to say?! equally it should be right up his street as there will be no fee!! what exactly does he do all day? Ask yourself why he hasnt chosen to introduce you to his family 2 1/2 years is a long time to be with someone for this not to happen. Go to Florida, ask him to find alternatiave accommodation while your away and get the locks changed. Take some time out, dont answer his calls, e mails ask him to make some decisions while you are away and make it a condition of the relationship continuing(if you want this to happen) that he seeks help for his depression/mental health issues and he finds some sort of job even if its part time. Sweetie its time for some tough love!

Some of your symptoms sound like sleep paralysis which is generally related surprise surprise to stress! The disorientation is associated with disconnection your mind shuts down in order to keep you safe, having experienced disconnection I know how terrifying it is, but it is another sign that you need a break or some relief from the extraordinary amount of stress you currently have in your life. Try not to focus on not being able to sleep itll just make it worse!! have you tried the traditional remedies of a hot bath, milky drinks, relaxation cd? Your mind is trying to process what is happening currently and it would appear that the only time it has to do this is during your sleep, could you take small amounts of time out for yourself during the day? Anti depressants will help but you have to give them time to work the side effects do lessen but realistically they take 3-4 weeks to work. Have you considered getting some counselling/therapy to give you the opportunity to talk through the stresses in your life, it would also be an opportunity to focus solely on you and your needs which might not be a bad thing right now, your girlfriend needs you to be healthy in order to support her, she has taken the step of doing something to help herself can you? Good luck

He takes care of me By making you give him a blow job, by making you go on top cos hes too lazy, how exactly is that taking care of somebody? We have so much in common How have you arrived at this conclusion, has he maybe told you that? I know he has the potential to treat me better because he used to. So why dosent he now? To be honest, I'm just desperate to hang on to him but I think it's me whos pushing him away Again I strongly suspect this guy has told you that and is feeding all of your insecurities He's had three really long term girlfriends so that says something? Too right!!! he cant commit, why did he/they end it, ever considered it might be for all the reasons you have issues about?! equally ask yourself how can so many people be worng about this LOSER! Sweetie you are 16 years old and in an abusive relationship, be strong hold your head up high and walk away from this guy, he is nowhere near as commited to this supposed relationship as you are, ask yourself why that might be. Yes you will feel crappy, but look at what you have learnt from this experience, believe me kissing someone who is as into you as you are into them will feel a million times better than anything you will experience with this guy

eye contact, playing with her hair, touching you on the arm, tilting her head, smiling, laughing,leaning in towards you during conversation, talking to other people but maintaining eye contact with you is that enough to be going on with?!

Whats going to be different in six months? certainly not likely to be this guys behaviour!! He is giving you mixed messages and picking you up and then putting you down like some new toy, is this what you want from a relationship? are the good times you have together enought to warrant the way his behaviour makes you feel when hes not around? Would you have friends in your life who behaved in a similar way? Personally I would go with the big kick in the backside and get the hell out!! Good Luck

OK maybe this is going to sound harsh but there are numerous references to him "making" you do things but equally have you considered he may be doing this because YOU LET HIM! wheres your self respect girl! Why would you want to waste your time "changing" this relationship? this guys not going to change hes got everything just the way he wants it, why would he need to change?! like you say yourself he cant be bothered, you are worth far more go out and get it and leave this loser to fester!! this is no relationship its just sex and if thats what you both want then no problem, however I have a sneaking suspicion that you are not happy.....

Well like everyone else says he asked you out for a reason!! you should be flattered. You really have nothing to worry about again remember HE ASKED YOU OUT! Wear something fabulous that makes you feel good about yourself, smile and be positive, laugh and be flirtatious!! Relax and enjoy this just could be the start of something wonderful!! Let us know how you get on Kerry

You sound very depressed to me, maybe a visit to your doctor to talk things through may help and medication will help you to cope a bit better and see things more clearly. You mention several of the main symptoms of depression/anxiety which could also be linked to ADD or OCD i.e lack of self confidence/self belief. You are being very hard on yourself ask yourself how someone who claims to be unintelligent has ended up doing a Masters, you got there on your own merits and achievements!!! I ENVY you for having the opportunity! If people say mean things about you then challenge them!! would you speak to other people in the same way? Stop focussing on what other people have and start to learn to want and appreciate what you have which sounds at least to be a great family and friends and an amazing future ahead of you, its all yours for the taking. You say you want to be a better person but what is that you see in others as better than you already are? I totally agree with shadows light who suggests smiling a lot more at people!!! if you present as positive , people are more likely to respond to you in the same way. Equally if you portray negativity you are likely to attract negative people/influences Therapy will be hard work at times and for it to be benficial you need to be open and honest (trust me they will have heard it all and far worse before!) but from personal experience I can wholeheartedly say it is singley the best thing I have ever done. Set yourself small achievable goals maybe with your therapists help and avoid relationships for a while as until you learn to love yourself nobody is going to love you back....corny but sooo very true, you need to be able to make yourself feel good and then you will no longer feel the need to seek love from others and compromise yourself by becoming involved in potentially damaging relationships. Good Luck Let us know how you get on

Be yourself! smile initiate and maintain eye contact and stop worrying about what other people think of you, everyone has their hang ups and you will be surprised at how many of the cool people that you refer to have difficulties! Love yourself and others will love you corny but true!

Please please please if you suspect your husband of being unfaithful wether or its with prostitutes and if youre continuing to sleep together please make sure that its safe sex! Yes he needs his space but at the hours that he is insisiting on it is unreasonable its making you unhappy and he dosent seem to care . This is not normal behaviour, how would he feel if it were you who insisited at going out at those times of the night? There is nothing wrong with you, you have a healthy understanding of how his behaviour is impacting on you and recognising how unhappy it is making you. He needs to take responsibility for his actions and the consequences of them, suggest counselling to him and make him aware that if he wont support you in this then there is no point in trying to work out the problems he seems to be having with this relationship. You have given up an awful lot for this man is he really worthy of those sacrifices? Good Luck and let us know how it all goes

Hmm he hasnt got around to lots of things has he now! And youve only heard his side of the story are his exes so lucky if theyve ended up like you i.e depressed, unsupported? I think you know within you what needs to happen here-stop taking responsibility for him and his "awful" past he is an adult he is responsible for his own actions and the consequences he gave them his all did he...so is he giving you his? Numerous children how commited to them is he? and can you see yourself having children with him? Its not unreasonable to want all the things that you desire I guess he is just not the one to give them to you, stop being his landlady he needs to stand on his own two feet for once in his life Im sure hell manage he may even appreciate how lucky he has been to have you Life is for living not working 24/7 to provide for someone who is just take , take, take Take control and make amove upwards and onwards! Good Luck

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays can do funny things to people its often a time when you think about people who used to be part of your life and that you would have spent those occasions with in the past I think your hunch about nostalgia may be accurate, you obviously dont want to talk to your ex and I think this is a good thing you obviously value your currnet girlfriend, being friends is not a problem as long as you are both clear that its all it will or can be and Im not sure that can be so in your situation. Youve moved on and are happy you can see why things didnt work out and appear to have accepted it, even if your ex is now single can you really see a future together?

Its a terrible trait in a great person but is it one you are prepared to accept? you said yourself youve had enough and I think that 31 years of trying to change it might make me think that its not going to happen! But if youve been to gether that long and the good outweighs the bad is it really a reason to give it all up? what would happen if you didnt react in any way shape or form what would his response be?! just a thought. Living to gether and working together must be really stressful do you make sure that you both make time for yourselves regularly? or is it all work, work, work Instead of blaming try saying it makes me feel...... when you do this takes blame out of the equation and may result in an interesting response. Dont make any knee jerk responses take time out to think things through consider your life without him and how you would fill it is it what ou really want? Good Luck