Between love and confusion

[dark_fenix]

Hey, everybody, I got this real big problem and I don't know what to do... There is this girl I liked since sec 1(next year i'll be in sec 5), we got along nicely we would joke, laugh and talk together for a long time even during class. When she was sad I always made her feel better and when I was down she would cheer me up.But i didn't really know if she liked me that much... So next year, we didn't talk much, but each time we saw each other we shared this intense eye to eye look, then we turned away. It was driving me crazy... Then I found out that she was going to change school and I thought I wouldn't never get the answer I was looking for. She e-mail me this forwarded quiz which contained a question saying: "did you ever have a crush on me?" I figured i wouldn't be seeing this girl again so I wrote" I did", She wrote back saying "not really" from her part. My heart just crumbled and I said I should get over it and I tried forgetting about her. But next year, she turned out to be in the same school as I, i just couldn't believe it. Those intense eye contacts continued. One day on a school boat cruise I was sitting in the back of the boat alone when she came and sar besides me with this shy look, we talked a while , but that was it. During this time this really pretty girl liked me, but my mind was still on her so I didn't do anything. Next year, in sec 4, I was forced to work in team with her, at first it felt real uncorfortable but then it was going real well, we started building this bond. Sometimes we would get kicked out of class together and we would chat away in the corridors runing around the school. But then she would show interest and the next day she would ignore me, this happened more than once. So in the end I was real hurt and decided to forget her once and for all. I finally felt though I as i could breath easy. Then the school year ended, I didn't even feel like telling her goodbye. Then three weeks later I get on msn and her msn nickname was: "bichy boo: I know I was wrong and that ain't fair, i was playing games with your mind when I knew you cared. but I love..."

That's where I am right now...Just don't know what to do, try or leave? People please help me...

[secret_agent_man]

It sounds like a crush she was afraid to talk about. You really need to contact her and tell her how you feel. Tell her everything you told us. She may feel exactly the same way but it's hard to be the one to admit that... Try talking, what have you got to loose? At least you'll know what she's thinking. (hopefully)

[dark_fenix]

Umm, thanx for that reply. It really makes sense and your right, I don't have anything to loose , only to gain. If I don't do anything about it, then I might be older and look back at this situation and wonder why the hell not didn't I do anything about it, regret is a risk i'm just not willing to take. And If it still doesn't work out, then at least I'll have known that I did my part for somthing that really mattered to me, and I wouldn't need to regret anything and finally able to move on using this experience as somthing I could learn from. And your right about this: "there is no faith but what you make of it", that is true in so many ways. As I was writting this thing down, the girl I liked logged on msn and we started chatting about life, it felt good. So thanx again. If anybody has other suggestions to make a relationship start abd develop please post it up here.