Why does she touch mens' arms when she talks to them?

[LovelyGuy]

Hi everyone, my girlfriend a bit 'tochy-feely' when she is 'close' to men talking to them. I have noticed this a few times and it usually is the arm that is closest to her. Recently her daughters boyfriend wouldn't come into the house (on a social gathering and after a few glasses of wine) and she was touching his back when trying to talk him into the house. This weekend was introduced to an old friend round his house and as she talked she touched his arm with her finger in a light stroking movement. Even at my best mates BBq she touched his arm. Is this an attention grabbing thing, a sign of being relaxed intheir presense or a form of flirting? Thing is she never does it to me! She is 46 and knows I think it a bit too personal and i find it embarrassing as she does it in my presense ...

 

Is she just too friendly?

 

LG.

[bzborow1]

I don't think it's really a big deal, after all she's with you right? As for the arm thing, why not let her express herself in that way to YOU as well?

[secret_agent_man]

In the same way that some people just talk too closely to your face, and don't realize it, she may be unaware that she's too touchy-feely for you.

 

Two things to look at,

1) Does she get the little bits of attention from you? Do you hold her hand sometimes? Do you stroke her hair when she's laying down? Little things like this can mean a lot, because she'll know you're thinking about her. I'm not accusing you of anything, because I obviously don't know you. Just think about it.

 

2) Like bzborow said, if she is still with you, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. This is true as long as you have no other reason to doubt her commitment.

 

Little things can bring out insecurities, and I am the first one to admit I've been in the same boat more than once. Just build your trust, I'm assuming she hasn't done much else to make you un-trusting of her.

 

The other thing that usually makes things blown out of proportion is lack of communication. Simply discuss the issue, and as opposed to telling her you dislike this, politely ask why she does it. There's no harm in talking.

 

You may find comfort in knowing that she's not much different from plenty of females. Women have a more natural way of showing affection, and it doesn't mean that she's even attracted to anything about the other people. It could just be kindness towards others.

 

To sum it up, I don't know her, so it's for you to decide what to do. Just don't hold it in, and don't jump to conclusions.

 

Good luck!

 

[LonelyGirl]

I agree that this is probably nothing. I myself have a habit (although not as often) of touching a person's arm when speaking with them. It's usually just a friendly thing! Girls tend to be more physical in this way remember. We hug more, hold hands more, and touch more! If it's not causing any harm or progressing any further than just touching an arm or back during friendly conversation then I don't think you've got much to worry about. Some people out there are way more touchy-feely than others and I know some people react uncomfortably to it. It happens.

I think you two are just fine.

[segagirl]

actually this is quite interesting to me....you see many years ago, while learning the "business/career" ropes, and "meeting people" ropes...I was told by someone this is a sign of interest...and works well to "connect" with people...and I have been doing it ever since. Habit! It means nothing more than more pleasant hello. a little flirty yes, but that's human nature...

[secret_agent_man]

Sega, you flirt, you!