I'm scared

[sweetheart230]

I have no reason to be, but I am. I'm scared I'll never feel the same way again. He was horrible and hurtful to me, and a selfish, inconsiderate lover, but sometimes it felt really amazing to be with him and I have this plaguing fear that I will never find anyone who makes me feel that way again. Sometimes I get scared that I'll never even be kissed again or feel close to a man again. Its an irrational fear, I know. He was the first guy I've ever cared about romantically.

 

I'm shy and have trouble reaching out to people. So did he and maybe thats why we both hung on for so long. I want to change. I'm so scared of never feeling passionate and intimate with someone again.

 

Sometimes I think that if I just work to make myself happy, everything will just fall into place. But that thought almost scares me. If I am happy by myself, will I lose my motivation to find someone else? Having motivation to find someone hasn't really done me much good so far, though.

 

I know this sounds whiney. I think I'm just tired. Its my second day back at school and I havn't slept well because my roommate is sick and coughs all night long. Now I'm getting sick and she won't let me listen to music or watch TV in the room and I have to keep the lights off so she could sleep all day. I try to stay out of the room and leave a window cracked open, but she closed it and I'm starting to catch her cough and sore throat. Maybe I'm just feeling down cause I'm getting sick.

 

I'm not sure why I feel so incapable of finding love, why it seems so easy for some people.

[James005]

Hey sounds like a ton of * * * * going on. To begin on your lovelife, if He's being insensitive and not caring and scaring you, I think its time to get out. I also think you should stand up for yourself. You arent comfortable and your goign along with it. You said your in college, thats something to be proud off did you know that less than 50% of sociey actually has a college education?

As well, use college to your advantage join groups in the college that interest you, one it will allow you to meet people with similar intrests to you and keep you away from your sick roommate who is clearly milking the common cold. Your rommate is luky she isnt mine because there would be a HUGE problem.

I hope this helps.

James

[ysitsohard]

If it helps any, I have been there. Oddly enough I am male and this is going to sound stupid but everything you said seems to fit what I went through. We it was over I almost "knew" that is would be over forever, that I could never "love" again or be close to anyone. I did not go looking for anyone because I thought there was simply no one out there anymore. Awhile later a friend of a friend e-mailed me and we started talking and now she is the love of my life. I thought I could never love again, turned out I did not even know what love was. I love her and I always will, we both love each other, we fight like everyone (we are fighting now). I know she be fine because that love is so strong. Maybe I am wrong, but for me I turned out to love 10 times as stong and we 10 times closer then before. I hope this helps somehow and I hope you find "the one". ~Jay

[jl301]

I'm sorry to hear what has happen to you. It will be okay, I know it hurts right now and the pain seems so unbearable. First of, you need to walk away from thisl. No one deserve to be in abusive relationship because is not worth. There are so many guys out there that is willing to treat you the way you should treated. Everyone feels that they can't never find anyone better than their ex because that is our human nature. We get comfortable with them and now we force out our comfort level. Everything just seems really scary right now because you feel that you won't ever be loved again. Just hang in there!!!

 

Is great that you happy being by yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. I think is great because in order to love others, you must love yourself first. Trust me, you are not going to lose your motivation because horomones will take over. I hope you feel better and know that things will be okay.

 

jl301

[sweetheart230]

Thanks...i guess i just worry i'll never find anyone. i'm not the only one, but it feels so overwhelming sometimes.

[KieranMc]

My current Girlfriend had a similar relationship a year ago.. truth is hun.. You have enough intelligence to recognise a loser when you see one.. Just take some time to yourself and enjoy life. Write down some goals you want to achieve in 2006 and strive for them... Love finds you.. not the other way around. I was single for three years whilst concentrating on my career. I'm a much better, stronger person for it.