Kind of frustrated rant

[Magic_Monkey]

This woman at work apparently liked me for months but we never really saw each other at work that much so didn't really speak much. We saw more of each other through mutual friends, we got on well and I eventually asked her out. We went out on a couple of dates and had fun both times. She told me she liked me and wanted to get to know me better and she sent me a text after thanking me for a good night. The next time we went out was as a group and I ended up spending the night with her at her house. We didn't go the whole way though, no actual sex. Everything was good the next morning, the first thing she did was start kissing me again and we spent most of the morning just messing around.

After that I went away for a weekend, she was off work ill for a few days and then she went away for the next weekend so we didn't see each other outside work for a couple of weeks. She then suddenly sends me a text saying she doesn't want things to get complicated. She's not texted or phoned me since. When I see her at work it's like nothing's happened, she talks and laughs at my jokes and stuff.

Since we first went out I've known that she's not really happy at work and would really like to move away, back to where she went to uni. Didn't think this was too much of a problem as it could take ages for her to find a job there. I found out the other day though, from a mutual friend that she's got a bloke in the place she's wanting to go to. I think it could be someone she's known for ages as a friend and he's just told her he likes her.

The whole thing's really annoyed me. I don't get that many girls, she's six years older than me and absolutley gorgeous so when I thought she liked me I was so happy. Now I'm wondering if she ever did like me in the first place or what I actually did wrong to put her off. We've a party coming up that I think we'll both be at so is it a good idea for me to ask her what went wrong and why wasn't she honest?

I do still like her but I understand she's found somebody she likes better and I guess I hope she's happy cos she has had a rough deal in the past (with exes and stuff) and deserves some happiness. I think we can still be friends (like I say we have a laugh when we see each other) but I don't want to end up being friends with her for the wrong reasons (ie hoping that if it does go wrong with who she's seeing that she'll turn to me).

Not really sure why I've posted this, other than maybe just to get it off my chest so thanks to anyone who reads it.

[Mattie]

I don't know this girl, but speaking from my experience, sometimes I have gone out with a girl a few times and really enjoyed her company. I've wanted to see them again and I've told them so. Then, after a while, I don't know what it is, something just hits me and the excitement and passion wears off.

 

Considering you work with this girl, maybe that's a factor. Imagine how awkward it'd be if you two were together for a while, you'd have to see each other every day. Sure, it sounds like a blast in the early stages, but every good couple needs time apart. Also, imagine how it'd be if you had a really bad break up. Maybe she thinks she's doing the right thing in the long run.

 

What I've learnt about girls/women is that they can decide whether they want to be with someone after one day, but sometimes it can take months for them to make a decision.

 

She obviously liked you enough to go out with you more than once, but when you had time apart, maybe she realised that it wasn't going to be anything more than that.

 

I'm sure you can agree, it is possible to sometimes like more than one person at a time. I wouldn't try and compare yourself to this other guy that you mentioned. You're who you are and you'll meet somebody that wants you and only you.

 

All I suggest you do now is back off and don't let her bother you. If you give her space, she may come back, but do you really want to be with someone that's cast you aside with no real explanation?

[Magic_Monkey]

Cheers for the reply. The work thing isn't a problem cos we very rarely see each other at work.

I am a bit annoyed that she didn't really explain herself but I would give her a chance. I will just leave her alone like you say and see what happens. Going to have to control myself when we're at that party though cos I know I'm going to have a few drinks.

It's just feels like life's purposefully messing with my head. I don't get many girls and it seems whenever I get a chance it gets snatched away.