lost_status Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 A real quick question....Is it wrong for a girl to have fun...and not settle down. For example, a friend of mine just got her confidence back from bad relationships and now wants to have fun and not commit to anyone. Im not talking about sex, but like going out with a guy, hanging out, kissing...but thats it! What do you think...Is this skanky? Link to comment
Moxie100 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Definitely not skanky. If I was your friend, though, I'd be careful about hurting people's feelings. There's nothing wrong with having fun, but it could potentially be hurtful to the people she hangs out/kisses with, depending on how they interpret the situation. Link to comment
Lacuna Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 The modern, politically correct, man in me says "She's a woman and can do what she wants - if men can do it why can't women?" At the same time the reality is that most guys would have a hard time being with a girl who has 'been around'. But it doesn't sound like your friend is sleeping with anyone - so I don't see any harm. It's good she's getting back her confidence - I just hope she doesn't hurt people in the process of her fun.... Link to comment
Shadows Light Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Define Skanky??? I guess I don't like that adjective. Pigeon holing with a label because she's starting to LIVE isn't very nice. She's a right to make her own choices in life. And going out, having a good time, without any ties... I'd say she's been there before and for now... she knows what she wants. No ties that bind. Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 As long as she is upfront with the object of her affection as to what her desires as far as a relationship goes, then I would say that it is OK. She needs to set boundries and limits so she does not harm her reputation. Link to comment
lost_status Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 awesome.... ok, then how would be not harm her reputation on this matter? Link to comment
AlwaysNeedHelp Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Me personally i dont like this way.. Maybe hang with them as FRIENDS.. But if she dating them for fun, it could have bad consequences.. Link to comment
emma34 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 personally, i don't think this is such a problem. She is feeling liberated right now, and this kind of decision is totally normal...but likely not what will end up happening. You really can't control love - and going out with a guy, hanging out, having fun, with no strings or sex, is the perfect way to get into a relationship that is actual meaningful. Girls often get confused in thinking that playing with guys with no noticeable emotion is liberating - keeping ppl at a distance is a cold world to live in. Breaking hearts isn't a good way to gain confidence. I guess you'll have to see. Link to comment
lost_status Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 hmmm, true true...everyone has good points. Im not going to stop her, I saw her before and she is so happy, she feels good about herself and this is a big improvement from a few weeks ago. Im concerned for her reputation, she says shes gonna keep things quiet. She doesnt want a relationship but she wants to 'see' guys! Its not wrong, and shes going to let the guys know, shes not going to pull them along or 'lead them on' This is the right thing to do in this situation....isnt it? Shes really happy, she saw her ex bf and didnt care!! she was so confident, a few weeks ago she would have ran crying, today she played it really cool. Im liking her better now, its changing for the best, shes not letting people chose what they think is good for her, especailly in relationships (in this case it was the guys ordering her around and she was being abused). Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Pretty normal I think after coming out of a relationship that was stifling in some ways, or going through the grieving process. It sounds like she is having fun, and not ready to rush into something. Far better then rebounding in my opinion. She sounds like she is open to dating, just not getting serious, and as long as she is UPFRONT about that, and is careful about being promiscuous, she has every right to date, and take her time. When she is ready for something more serious, she will know. It is not WRONG for someone to not want to settle down....relationships are not what define whom we are..and you should not settle just to be in one. As long as she is not misleading anyone, she has every right to take her time and not get serious at this point in her life. Link to comment
lost_status Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 great! thanks for your help. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now