She thinks were just a rebound, need advice.

[rebound_steve]

I have been trying for the last month to start a relationship with the best woman that I have ever met. There is a definitive mutual attraction between the both of us, which I cannot dismiss as curiosity on each of our parts. Our problem exists that she just got out of a 4-year relationship with another man, and she is worried that all we are (our relationship) is a rebound. Furthermore, it was a long distance relationship, and that what we would be involved in, another long distance relationship. She has told me that she wishes that she had met me later in life and her personal struggle with the rebound issue would not exist, and we could explore a relationship together. I care for this person very much, but what I think I should do is step away from us for a while and give her time to figure out what she wants in life. I'm scared that when I walk away, that it would be something that I would forever regret. Am I wrong?

[crookster_man]

I've said this a thousand times and no matter how many times I say it people tend to ignore it. TRUST YOUR GUT. It's all intuition; we all have that little voice inside of us telling us something. How many times have we ignored it only to find out it's true? I can't even begin to count.

 

I think you already know the answer to your question. You defiantly don't want to be the rebound guy, unless that's all you want of course. If she is telling you that she is confused. Then she is confused, listen to her. Give her what she needs. Remember it takes two EQUAL partners to make a relationship work. If your both not committed to its success, then it will most defiantly fail.

 

You said she just got out of a four year relationship? She will need some time to re-discover herself. Anyone who jumps into a new relationship will not have the time to reflect on their previous relationship and grow from it. Everyone needs time for personal growth. She told you that. Just give her space, she might come back to you, she might not. It's not your choice, respect her decision. That's the only way it will ever work.

[kdreger]

I like your alias.

 

You should give her plugs for actually caring enough about you to fear getting into a rebound relationship with you. It happens all the time!

 

My questions is: why not wait? Can you just be her friend for awhile? Be patient. In fact, avoid getting into a relationship with her for awhile. If she starts to date someone else, don't worry about it. If you want this girl to be the one then let her date a little and use other men to come to terms with the four year relationship. As well, the strongest loving relationship starts with friendship. Be there for her and you might be pleasantly surprised with her love one day.

[digitaldiva]

She is being honest with you and you are ignoring her. If she is blatently telling you that your relationship may be a rebound listen to her. She telling you that you could be hurt. If you're willing to be hurt then begin the relationship if not then you should discontinue the relationship until she can tell you that she is ready for something more concrete. It's just that there is a higher chance that this relationship will not work out...