Wife carrying bagage from previous marriage

[longshot]

I am really confused, and unfortunely this is not a problem that is going to be resolved very easily. I have been married now for 5 years and have two lovely boys 3.5 and 20 months. I guess you could say my marriage didn't really start on a solid foundation as I meet my wife online. I was in the states and she was in Australia. I first meet her in person when I went to Australia to live. We married 2 months later. We have always had problems talking. She had a chip on her sholder for a long time regarding her previous failed marriage and had a hard time trusting me. Anyway for the last two years we have drifted apart. Every few months I deal with the fact she is distant and then get told she loves me but is not in love with me and doesn't know if we can fix it. It hurts but deep down I feel the same. The thing is ....I don't want to be one of these farther's that see his boys occasionally. I am spoiled now with the fact that I watch them during the day while she works and then I go to work at night. Also after she tells me such things which hurts ...a few days latter she is cheery and happy and seems to act like nothing is wrong. She told me she wants to work on it as we have debt and it isn't fair that one of us should suffer in seeing the boys...which to me is not a reason to stay together..I just don't know what to do. Today I kept asking her what was wrong and she wouldn't answer me. She finally said she wasn't happy, and i said so the boys and I don't make you happy. She said we didn't. I am just tired of going through the same cycle every few months.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hmm, u've got a real complicated problem. If u's eva loved one another, i'm sure u can find it again if u keep trying. If it was just some casual thing ova the interent, then maybe she should leave u but u hav 2 kno why she isn't happy first, it could b just one of those mood things ppl hav. I don't really kno if any of that helped or made u confused...

[segagirl]

I think its time for marriage counseling. She sounds like she may be suffering from depression, or at least has historic issues she has not resolved. I think in reality, if she is not willing to work it out...and you decide to spilt...no reason you cannot ask the courts for custody