longshot

thanks for your reply, I don't know if she feels left out. We just are not close except for our children. We have been doing family outings as my boys need to be out more and my eldest has a major speech disorder and possible mild artism. We met about 5 years ago, over the internet. I was very lonely and she sounded like a great person. It seems she was lonely and just recovering from a bad divorce. I finally saved up enough money to move to Australia. It seems I made several bad decisions on describing my past relationships and that created some bad foundation within out sexual relationship right off the bat. But, I still had the strong feeling for this person I had talked for over the year on the internet and by phone. We then married - 6 months later we decided to try to have a child - as she always wanted one, and I am lucky for that..as my boys are my life and soul. Three months after my first son was born she got really upset at me and she said the marriage was over. We talked it through and decided to keep trying. I was very scared as her and her family where the only people I knew. It then seems to decline from there...we go through some months having a good relationship. I have a decent job, it is casual which means I don't get holidays but I still bring home a paycheck. But it seems that in the past 5 years all we both do together is eat..and I have gained 50 pounds since I have moved here. As she has also. I know this isn't healthy and I am trying to do something about it. I also know tha she has a friend who is having a beautiful new relationship and she feels like something is lacking. The problem is ..I don't know if there was really any strong fondations to our relationship and we have just been going through the motions. I am strongly thinking about talking to her about seeing a marriage counselor.

Alright..i am really confused. I am 33 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years. We have two lovely boys and they are 3.5 years and 20 months old. The boys mean everything too me. I currently enjoy being able to spend the days with them while my wife works. Then I go to work 5 nights of week. I feel that my wife is very jealous of this fact and resents me for this. Also we have not been close for over 20 months. Not even holding hands. Every 5 months or so she gets depressed. Last time I told her I love her and asked her if she loved me and she said yes she loved me, but wasn't in love with me. That she was very lonely. Again she is getting depressed more often now. Today she wouldn't talk to me and I said she was unhappy and that the boys and I do not make her happy. I also feel like I am just living with a friend, and not a friend that I even confide in anymore. We don't yell or scream at each other. We just don't talk. I know that we will be debt free in about 9 months, except for our car loan. Which I will be stuck with. I am really considering ending our marriage...as I am also lonely...and feel that our relationship is not a good example for our boys, but then I am also torn because I love being with my boys..and being away from them is going to tear me apart..although I will like rent a place within walking distance of them. I just don't know what to do. We having slept in the same bed for a very long time...we just don't do much. Even when we go to a movie together we don't hold hands...just doesn't feel like anything is there. Just very confused..and scared on what the future holds

I am really confused, and unfortunely this is not a problem that is going to be resolved very easily. I have been married now for 5 years and have two lovely boys 3.5 and 20 months. I guess you could say my marriage didn't really start on a solid foundation as I meet my wife online. I was in the states and she was in Australia. I first meet her in person when I went to Australia to live. We married 2 months later. We have always had problems talking. She had a chip on her sholder for a long time regarding her previous failed marriage and had a hard time trusting me. Anyway for the last two years we have drifted apart. Every few months I deal with the fact she is distant and then get told she loves me but is not in love with me and doesn't know if we can fix it. It hurts but deep down I feel the same. The thing is ....I don't want to be one of these farther's that see his boys occasionally. I am spoiled now with the fact that I watch them during the day while she works and then I go to work at night. Also after she tells me such things which hurts ...a few days latter she is cheery and happy and seems to act like nothing is wrong. She told me she wants to work on it as we have debt and it isn't fair that one of us should suffer in seeing the boys...which to me is not a reason to stay together..I just don't know what to do. Today I kept asking her what was wrong and she wouldn't answer me. She finally said she wasn't happy, and i said so the boys and I don't make you happy. She said we didn't. I am just tired of going through the same cycle every few months.