Fear of Expression?

[BlueWolf]

I've been thinking, why are most of us afraid to express ourselves in front of other people (ex: someone we like)?

I will admit right now: I will be a hypocrite on this issue (perhaps one of very few issues I'm a hypocrite on)...

 

I've been feeling very tired today (losing sleep, stress, etc - we all know how it is) and I haven't been doing anything else other than just writing journals. So while writing I got thinking of why are so many people so afraid of expressing themselves in front of others? (Again, me included.) It’s like this invisible barrier we have in front of us. For me, I’ll say it right now – it’s not fear of rejection or anything like that. Honestly I don’t care about that anymore. Could it be that their friends will find out leading you to catch some embarrassment? Could be, but we all go through embarrassing situations and it’s just part of life anyway. Last time something like this happened, it wasn’t even that bad – shouldn’t even be embarrassing, actually. So what if something meant to be private leaked out to the ears of others? Maybe we’re afraid that they’ll think less of us or think we’re creepy (for some reason?!). Ok, I think that’s not even possible. When would anyone think less of someone else who complimented them? (Some strange person, maybe?) If a girl randomly came up to me and said something nice, I’d actually be very happy - thrilled! Maybe we just think they won’t take it in the level of seriousness we intended? I’m the biggest hypocrite on this. If a friend likes someone else, I’ll just tell them to talk about it to the person they like. I’ll get annoyed, too. But then I just remind myself that I do the same exact thing as well. Some people don’t have a problem with this, though. For the ones that do, we just stay friendly, while having hidden thoughts. And even if we’re not afraid of asking them out, in the beginning we’re still afraid of expressing ourselves. Even if we don’t want to start a relationship with someone, but still like them, that invisible barrier is there for the majority of people.

This doesn’t only have to do with expression of how we feel about others either. We’re also often afraid to tell other people our problems (it’s amazing how much this can help if we do). I found this post with which I have to agree 100%. All of us – people reading this thread, and everyone else are going through stuff they’ll probably never talk about. Some of us do keep private journals of things, and that helps. And for those of us who do, we can’t log every single daily emotion in them. That taken into consideration, imagine how much less we actually talk about with others about stuff troubling us.

 

You know how much better the world would be if everyone actually communicated about these things?

 

As a closing comment, I’ll say I’ve no idea why we’re afraid of expression (should be fear of expression rather than fear of rejection in some cases, IMO). But I will say that I have a huge amount of respect for people who just don’t care and do what their heart tells them to.

Maybe my being tired is restricting me from coming up with other possible reasons?

PS: Some might say it's all lack of confidence, but given the facts, it shouldn't be - there are little other reasons or excuses left.

[registered]

(should be fear of expression rather than fear of rejection in some cases, IMO).

I hadn't really thought of that, I think you are right in the circumstances you refer to that they aren't about fear of rejection.

I think maybe in a part it comes down to the pressures society puts on us. We are told to do this and not do that and after some time we cannot really control this, we just have these values and expectations forced upon us.

For example little kids are very open and they don't fear expression! But there parents will always say "don't say that! That's mean!" or "she's a stranger! You can't do that!" lol. Then, over time, the kids hold back in expressing themselves.

And so I think that society's pressures cause us to do this.

 

I think the ability to just express yourself without fear is kind of a rite of passage that we go through.

 

I don't think it is bad to be a hypocrite about this though... like you said it is about some sort of "fear" and that is just a fact, we have fears and apprehension and unfortunately they sometimes control us, that doesn't make anyone a bad person though.

[eric1214]

I have a fear of expressing myself most of the day. In class I'll feel overwhelmed with anxiety that I might do something wrong or say something embarrassing. If I notice someone I know I will try to avoid them for the reason of trying to not seem needy or like a loser. It is hard for me to describe, but I have been like this ever since coming to college.

I only truly feel comfortable around certain people now and am afraid that I will be like this for the rest of my life. I see others be confident and carefree around anyone and in any situation and I am so envious of that.

I wish I could do the same. I know there is no reason why I can't, but it is just soooo hard....

[pashmak]

everyone has a fear of expression because it's not easy to trust someone with all your personal problems. People do take advantage of you and some even make things worse if you pour your heart out to them. so in the end, i guess it's not wanting to get hurt.