Why can't I get my life to work?

[Hot Soup]

I don't understand life. I can't get my life together. I'm almost 26 years old and I've never had a girlfriend, never had a date even. I've never had many friends and I'm not close to the two or three I have now. I went off to college and graduated with a good gpa and couldn't get a job anywhere. I wound up moving home with my parents and getting a lousy job I hate, I really have only one friend to hang out with and I don't do that very often because I'm so shy. The town is so small I don't even know of anything to do to meet people and neither does my friend. It seems like everyone I ever knew has gotten married and a job they like and here I am stuck. I feel like such a loser I just want to die. I don't understand why I've never been able to pull everything together. I just wish I had someone in my life to be with and to help me.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Hi Hot Soup

 

It's difficult when everyone around you seems to be better off than you. But you are you. You need to stop looking at what everyone else is doing, and work on you. Get confidence, go out more, enjoy your life. Don't worry about not having girlfriends or whatever. When you become more happy about yourself, your confidence will grow, and you will appear easier to approach by the opposite sex.

 

Live your life for you, don't worry about other people judging you.

 

EDIT: Don't allow others to set you a benchmark. You need to go your own pace.

[Cherokeelion]

Hey Hot Soup, Chin up my friend... it seems theres a reason for everything in life. Pick something, it doesn't have to be big and just do it. The worst thing a person can do is give up the desire for a better life. Trust me on this... I've been so low i never thought I'd see daylight again, I'm currently fighting another life disaster but I will never, ever give up. You know why? Because I have found out through experience that life eventually rewards your struggles. It may not be in ways you expect... but keep trying to improve yourself and a door will open somewhere. Yes, it happens... don't dispair.

[musicguy]

Hey Hot Soup. I'm in the same boat as you are.

[ShySoul]

Hotsoup,

 

I feel just like you. I'm about to turn 23 and I've never had a girlfriend or date. I only have two friends that I am close too, one of whom I only met fairly recently. Otherwise I don't get close to others much. I did great in school, only to find that jobs kept turning me down. I'm very shy myself. I often wonder where I am headed and if I will truly be happy.

 

But you have to hang in there and have faith. You are not a loser, you are a good person at heart. Life can throw at us curve balls and bad situations. It can try to keep us down. But you have the choice. Are you going to let it keep you down, or are you going to fight? Are you going to take the bad times and try to work towards making it out and heading towards good times.

 

Life is precious, even if its not ideal. If you look you have good things going for you. You have many things about you that you should be proud of. If you have trouble seeing it, start small. Take that one friend. Talk to him or her more. Get closer. Don't be afraid. Shyness doesn't have to be a problem. Realize you aren't a loser. Work through your job and keep trying for something better. Eventually things will turn your way. You just have to have faith and believe in yourself.

 

If you ever want to talk, PM me and I'll be happy to listen.

[hellokittykitty]

Hot Soup!

 

I understand you, your not alone!!

 

I am 28, lost my job and had to move home. My father killed himself and it's made our lives a living hell. You don't realize how many people care about you until it's too late. Things will work out for you. Maybe you should make a radical change.

 

Move cites, get out of the small town. Try something new where you are forced to get over your shyness, thereforeeee gaining confidence.

 

I met the love of my life, he doesn't feel the same as me, it breaks my heart because I was so sure, more sure than I have ever felt before. I feel horrible, but I know somehow things will get better. Hang in there!

[Darketernal]

Its all about 'approuch' , people are attracted to things that they want. thereforeeee if you manage yourself into becoming that what they want and not totally destroying your own personality in the process there is no reason why you couldn't achieve anything you want. Its like the old saying goes, its better to bend then break, you need to show more involvement and get accustomed to a different style of approuch , its like this.

 

If you have a ball in your hand and there's a wall, and you just stand still nothing happens. (situation remains the same) , however when you throw the ball at the wall , the ball gets reflected back on you. The same counts for people, you need to start something yourself in order for them to respond. Throw away the useless shy thing, it hasn't brought you anywhere in life. You have a mouth in the middle i suggest you start using it.

[ShySoul]

Hot Soup, you may not read this message, but if you do let us know how you are doing. We care about you and hope that everything is well.