i really need some input PLEASE

[yelrac1987]

okay, well my girlfriend and i have been having sex for a while and i've been hoping that we would eventually have oral sex, also. She is pretty open about sexual things and i guess i kind of figured that she would be into that along with me. But, her and I were talking the other day and she was getting many things out that she had been keeping inside for a pretty long time and I felt really great being able to be there to listen. At one point, the subject of her past relationship came up, that he asked her to do many things that made her uncomfortable, and she ended up telling me that she gave this boyfriend a blow job and she hated it. Right about then I was thinking "crap, I'm never going to get to experience a blow job". Now don't get me wrong, I respect and love her more than anything and I would not let a stupid thing like this get in the way of our amazing relationship, but I am very disappointed. Her ex was not a good guy, though, and she gave him the blowjob only because he kept telling her that if she loved him, she would do it. she thought she really loved him, which she now realizes that she obviously didn't, and was clearly taken advantage of. I was just wondering if the reason she hated giving head could possibly be due to the negative context of the only time she has done it. I mean, i really, really would like to experience that and I am really hoping that I can, since i think that we will be together for quite a while.

Also, sorry if i'm boring you and wasting your time, but i have another question. If she doesn't like performing oral sex, does that mean she doesn't like receiving it? I would like to do it for her (and for me), but I don't know if that would make her uncomfortable also.

It seems that I should just talk to her about the whole thing, but I don't want her to think anything bad about me, especially give her "flashbacks" of her ex. I don't know, I just need some advice. anything would be great, thanks.

[Tigris]

I suspect that once she's comfortable with you she will give you oral. It sounds like the problem with this is he made her do it by using bribery. Just be patient with her and you could be pleasantly surprised one day!

 

Her receiving oral, well that depends if he forced her to do that too? The safest option would be to discuss it with her. Another option would be to use your fingers and then when she's relaxed gently replace your fingers with your tongue. If she says NO! back off straight away. Don't freak her out!

 

Good luck and have fun.

[ocrob]

Just take things slow and be very understanding. If she is comfortable talking to you about it and you don't pressure her, then everything should be fine. Let her know that if she does perform oral, then it will be a learning experience for the both of you and you will be very respectful of her needs.

[ShySoul]

Chances are her feelings are because he pressured her into it. Take it slow and go at a pace she is comfortable with. If you don't pressure her to do anything, she may slowly open up to the idea and even want to please you in that way in the future. Just make sure to be gentle and reassuring, letting her know that you love her no matter what.