feelings of wanting reconciliation now turning into anger?!

[jinxz]

](*,) im now starting to feel angry at my who situation (in a nutshell, 2yr rshp, broke up about 2 months ago, and i never wanted to breakup and it was somewhat mutual at first but then i wanted her back, and she didnt) i have someone been led on by false hope, and real hope, so its very hard to get out of that grey area when making important decisions. anyways i feel like im on a string just waiting to see if she will turn around and see the light because i know she does love me and wants to be with me, but shes almost self destructive becasue she doesnt realize that at any moment im just about ready to drop the whole situation. and now im getting ot the point when i just hate how im feeling all the time, sad, depressed, lonely, wanted her back, thinkgin about all the 'what ifs?', and now today she told me to call her after i got back from school, and i call her house and her cell, and no answer. it is so typical, i can never get ahold of her and i dont know if shes ignoring or what, its just startin to make me angry. anyways i wanted to know what you guys think, im thinkin of asking her to see me (i like to do things in person) and just lay it down for her. tell her that lately i have been absolutly misserable and findi t hard to function and that our friendship is anything but that, ive been tyr driving force and i feel like shes draging me through the mud as she pretty much decides on what she wants. i just want to tell her, 'this is it, as a human, i have needs, and this friendship is not fufilling a single one, either we start talking about things and working things out ot get back together or its good bye, i cant take this suffering any longer' do you think that is acceptable to put on her? mind you shes seemed happy, always going out and always busy, but anywyas let me know what you guys think.

[RescueDiver]

I know what you're going through jinxz and it sucks. It is really hard to fight off the negative feelings that eventually come up in the situation you're in. As much as you want to be with the person, as much as you love them, miss them and want to be with them again... eventually the frustration of not being able to be with them is going to catch up with you.

 

The point is... that when you begin to get to the point where you are becoming very angry, frustrated, etc... that is the time to call it quits. Giving her the choice is fine... but understand that once you hit that point of being angry you have begun to build resentment inside of yourself. That resentment will poison any future relationship you have with her.

I was in a similar situation with my last girlfriend who left me for her ex-boyfriend after we'd dated for 3 months. I hung out for six months waiting for her to see the light. As time wore on I became increasingly frustrated, angry, depressed. Also, it almost became more about getting her back... not about whether I thought that she was really the right person or not. When we finally did get back together the reunion was far from the happy wonderous meeting I had envisioned for much of that six months. My feelings had simply become too poisoned by what I had gone through. That built up resentment basically killed that relationship from the start. By the time I had put to rest those feelings, the damage had already been done. Marissa (the gal in question) had basically fallen out of love with me because I wasn't the same loving caring person I was when we had first gone out. We fought easily and often over the smallest stupidest stuff. She ended up breaking up with me a year after we got back together. We got back together and broke up two more times over the next year until she finally met and eventually married her curent husband 9 months after they met.

 

What I'm trying to say is that it's not going to be possible for you to be friends with her because of this. I'd say it's fine to wait some length of time after a breakup in hopes of reconciliation (if there is that possibility) but you have to know when to call it off. That time is basically what you have reached. It's different for everyone, and every situation. But take it from someone who's been there. Once you reach the point where you're at now... even if you get back together with her it will never be the same again. The bottom line is that you really don't owe her your friendship and if it is tormenting you to keep that friendship alive... you need to break it off.